Tag Archives: Parenting

‘Finding the skills to stop telling my kid what and how he should be doing his life!’

My son is home for a week to fill up his tank with unconditional love!  This morning I wondered if my son and I are old souls with an agreement to continue on through lifetimes in some form of relationship!  Is our agreement to share lessons that turn out to become milestones and  powerful experiences?  We are both dominant kinesthetic learners which means we are extremely sensitive to each others feelings pre-verbally.  This often becomes a trigger and can sabatosh harmony!

I noticed he had a movement pattern that I knew could be supported with a movement lesson.  He accepted my offer to work with him and while doing so, I was able to engage his somatic experience to such a degree that he went into a deep rest that appears as sleep.  I know this rest is extremely powerful in calming nerves and shifting one out of anxiety.  It is a state that gives rest when none is available in one’s regular routine.  I have only had one practitioner in my life time who I experienced this with personally and she was unable to let it be a part of our experience together.  She would pull me out of this rest due to her own fear and not understanding it.

However, I let my boy stay in this state to enjoy the quality of the rest he was experiencing.  I did not want to wake him by leaving the office so I decided to sit and meditate while he rested.  Settling in, a recent conversation came to mind on the Hawaiian practice of releasing attachments.  It seemed appropriate in this moment to practice my interpretation of the Hooponopono Clearing Mantra.

Sitting in mindfulness with the intention of releasing mental, emotional, physical and lifestyle attachments to this child, I began reciting:

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In reciting this mantra I quickly recognized it was about me releasing my drama around this young man to free him of my responses, reactions and moral judgments.  My experience of this practice unexpectedly provided me with freedom!  Freedom for acceptance of myself and my actions!  In the few days since, I notice I am less attached to what I think he should be doing that is creating more space in my mind.  I am acting on my own needs instead of focusing on my opinions about what he is doing!  Whew, a relief for us both.

I cannot predict his or our future, however, I can say that I am more grounded and connected with myself and in our relationship as young adult and mom.  I like him even more than I did before and am not concerned with what he is not doing or is going to do.  During his childhood my focus was on what he was doing and how he was affecting and contributing to the family that allowed me to experience empathy for my own parents and siblings.  Once he left home this shifted to what I did and how I contributed to this child’s family experience that allowed me to reflect upon my pain, guilt and joy of my parenting and begin to take accountability and responsibility of my actions. Now reciting the Hooponopono Clearing Mantra focused on my son it has shifted into acceptance.

I have been told that Hawaiian Families come together when a family member is ill to practice this Hooponopono Clearing Mantra with them.  The purpose is to release attachment for a better healing journey.

Reciting this mantra was a heartfelt experience and I believe it has given a greater degree of separation to let us have greater autonomy.  If and when he ever discusses his pain around any parenting situation he experienced with me, it is my opinion that I will be able to be more empathetic and less attached to my fear of being judged.  I believe I will be more honest and be a better listener! This is the gift I want to give my kid!    No more fixing, strategizing or enabling!


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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

Present enough to notice what’s right in front of you!

When weeding isn’t weeding anymore!

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Yesterday when the person who had wanted dandelions didn’t show up to harvest them, I decided to go out myself and get started.  An area that was originally grass had become weed filled when I  let the neighbors invasive Saint John’s Wort move in.  Digging up never-ending weeds has been a challenge and now I felt lucky to have someone who wanted to harvest the dandelions.

As I began digging I noticed wild onions and had to stop to taste them.  Then I began to separate them from the weeds along with the dandelions.  Then came the baby thistle, then the plantain and finally the fennel.  Weeding wasn’t weeding anymore!  It became a gathering experience.  Each one had to be tasted periodically too.

Once washed and laid out to dry the volume was appreciated.  A small 3 x 4 foot patch reaped a table full of greens for tea’s, salad’s, oils flavored vinegar, poultice’s and creams.  Well, actually too much was eaten.  The first harvest and I couldn’t get enough.

When this gal I mentioned earlier came by to pick up her dandelions,  we stood chatting.  We began eating the leaves off the Saint John Wort and that’s when  it hit me.  What I hadn’t been able to see that is.  What I did see caused much angst and I was blocked from seeing the treasures that were actually there.  They were not hidden, I just wasn’t able to see them!  My focus was on my kids, business and time.  I told myself I didn’t have time and  yet needed it to look a certain way for my business. What a loss.  I imagine now, had I shared this knowledge with my kids they would have had real-time with me and learned something more valuable than doing chores.  So busy being busy.  Ouch!


Renee is an appreciative and proud mother of two young adults.  One child introduced her to the experience of unconditional love and the other to the inner power and beauty of being a woman!

 

Personal ​Life Change Coaching Testimonial

I am pleased to receive and share a testimonial from a life coaching student who is transitioning from an orientation of action first to connecting first from the inside to be more present with  their actions.

Renee Lindstrom came into my life over two years ago when I enrolled in her Non violent communications class in Oak Bay.  She quickly became my life coach and everything  has changed dramatically for the better since making that decision. Coming from a very dysfunctional family it took a lot of work and time to overcome fears that were very deepseated and with Renee’s patience and empathy I now have a wonderful  relationship with myself and my children.
If you are ready to do the work and want results I would recommend you meet with Renee and watch your life change for the better.

DD

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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication Relationship & Life Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

InTouch Talk in your community

14InTouch Talk programs are designed to speak abundance, integrate universal values and develop emphatic listening.

InTouch Talk has been shared in the following ways:

1.  Introductory and Integration Follow up in the workplace:

  • With counselors in talking circle setting
  • With employees to create harmony and respect for business owner
  • In business offices to align mission statements with ethical behavior
  • Early childhood educators for teaching

2.  Ongoing workshops in the community since 2007

3.  Ongoing workshops in Public Schools since 2007

4.  In talking circles since 2004

5.  Coaching since 2004

Intouch Talk has helped to improve relationships in the areas of:
  • Pre Marriage Coaching
  • Building Better Marriages
  • Deconstructing Marriages
  • Partnerships
  • Business Relationships
  • Conflict Resolution & Mediation
  • Parenting
  • Teaching
  • Educational Institutions
  • Organizations
  • Bullying/Anti bullying
  • Government
  • Policy Making
  • and more……

Connect to inquire or book your Introductory Workshop, In-House Integration Series or Coaching

Read more on InTouch Green Communication

FAQ – Who would come to Inside Awareness?

 This is a great question:

  • The focus of Inside Awareness is on learning to increase the quality of life experiences beginning inside and expanding out.  Much like a drop water expands equally out on all sides.   The learning practice is based upon the four aspects of self; physical, emotional, mental and beliefs which are easily translated into focused areas of personal  and relationship development.
  • Inside Awareness programs have been designed for early childhood to end of life, (and all stages in between!)  Patterns of movement, habitual behavior and language, and lifestyles are a thread through life and are unconscious actions and reactions until a focus of attention is placed on them specifically.  Learning with Inside  is designed for developing this skill so something new can happen! This is to learn  moving beyond conflict, pain and struggle with more awareness and ease into a space of deeper connection inside and outside.

Therefore adults, parents, children, educators, employees and employers would benefit with these learning and coaching programs.

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©by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP, May, 2014
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000
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TEACHING CHILDREN EMPATHY – PARENTS STORY-TIME!

  • WED,  JAN 22 – FEB 26   6:00 – 8:00 PM

LOCATION:  James Bay Community School Centre, 140 Oswego Street

Learn tools to teach your children to hear what is meaningful for you as parents.  Learning can be fun and not through discipline, punishment and reward if your model of parenting includes ongoing techniques for sharing what you value.  If you children hear you through fun, play and story time what is important for you they will carry this into their later years when they are becoming more social and less parent centered.  Come and learn it is what you do and how you do it!

  •  REGISTRATION:  250-389-1470 – 6/$70

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Resources:

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“When Mommy and Daddy fight”

Imagine your child/ren watching and hearing you and your partner disagree.  Conflict between two people is normal and natural.  Rather than beat yourself up and either guilt talk your child or ignore them, what if you talk empathy?  Yes!, accept responsibility for having feelings that sometimes come out in a way you don’t like!  Example:

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(Name), last night Daddy and I used our loud voices when we disagreed about
cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I regret (or I am sorry for) getting angry at
daddy in front of you. I was needing some space by myself to settle and rest
and was feeling frustrated and rushed.

I imagine it’s scary for you to hear daddy and I raise our voices and show you our big feelings. Is that right? _________(answer)_______________. I bet you need us to be kinder and more considerate (age appropriate words). Is that
want you would like? __________(encourage talking).

I would like that too. Sometimes just like you, I get big feelings and they
come out before I can catch them. How about we make a deal (or I make an agreement with you), that if daddy and I use our loud (big) voices when we are feeling frustrated, that when I feel calmer I will come and check in with you to talk about how this was for you? Would you like this?

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Parenting Workshops with Renee Lindstrom coming up at James Bay Community Centre and Vic West Community Association.  Go to  learning opportunities for parents .

Think, Speak, Act Workshops with Renee Lindstrom coming up at Monterey Recreational Centre.  Go to personal development Learning opportunities.

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