Tag Archives: Relationships

About Renee Lindstrom ‘s intention for living in the garden of life

I, like many, wasn’t borne into a thriving, balanced and attuned family landscape.  The illusive patterns that sowed the illusive culture of my lifestyle weren’t heart-centered.  Instead they were based upon fear, anger, unhappiness, discontent and jealousy.

Thinking

This led to years of seeking out meaning, understanding, and a life purpose that didn’t include the harming elements of my earlier family life.  This also led to supporting others along the way.

Through this exploration I have  made the connection to one’s  thinking and their results.  I have observed how the ways of ‘thinking’ create one life’s garden.

We are prisoners to our thinking

To put it another way,  I have seen and experienced examples of how we think becomes what we experience and  create in our lifestyle.  A lifestyle that can be calm and wonderful, or chaotic.  Thinking seems to be responsible for how we actively respond mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Being unconscious to it makes us prisoners to it.

I have also discovered the process of thinking is separate from mental functions.  How do I know this?  As a babe we aren’t born with a pattern of thinking, yet as a babe we had the mental ability to integrate cultured patterns of thinking.

Usually ones focus isn’t on the brain’s functional abilities and its relationship to how experiences are processed.

I have witnessed and heard stories of  life times  lived through reactive behaviours originating from thoughts.  Thoughts based upon one’s thinking process that is not real or the truth of what is happening in the moment.  One example of a case study in years past is the reaction of running from situations literally by driving across the continent!  As the reaction would begin to calm I would be contacted only to discover the flight was from an initial triggering thought that wasn’t connected to any real actions of checking in with the source of it.  The flight was an expensive reactive behaviour mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.

Exploring this life path I have discovered that even thought I was born long after the honeymoon was over in my families experience, I thrive in beauty and the attributes of loving kindness, and have a high propensity for empathy.  My family and I simply weren’t a match.  In retrospect, the pain and suffering became the incentive to find ways to align with my true nature.  Along the way I have found clarity and understanding, and come away with some ways to live in the beauty that the garden of life can be.

A system of understanding to have clarity & for understanding

that is balancing

Sharing these ways with others while continuing my own practices has become an open system of learning.  This system goes out beyond the closed thinking patterns of making evaluations and moral judgments, and beliefs of  right and wrong thinking.  Each of the methods I integrated had their challenges in the learning stages due to the depth of ego that is experienced in our culture.  Ego is imbedded into behaviour yet it’s another elusive quality that people experience without being consciously aware of it and unable to identify and name it.

To borrow an evaluative experience from Buddhism, each method I dug deeply into is founded upon the concept of becoming enlightened.  However the challenges of  the teachers and participants wanting to be seen, heard and valued caused hurdles to overcome and created events of pain and suffering for all immersed in the educative experiences.    Taking the time to integrate these methods as a foundation for living myself has taken time and evolved over the years as the system I am interested in contributing follows the Buddhist concept of eliminating incorrect use of ego.  We all have ego, however, I focus upon ego usage that pays attention to power with, not more over/under.  Why?  I want to live in the beauty that inspires and motivates.  The heightened stimulus I hope to experience comes from passion.  Passion for life, living and creating.

Mentoring others to switch on their innate ability to learn 

Somes ways of contributing to others as they commit to engaging in life to align more with their true nature are with individual programs or mentoring  integratable life components.   Life area programs and components focus in these areas of one’s experiences:

  • surroundings
  • inner sense of oneself (confidence, self-esteem, empowerment)
  • life purpose
  • cultivating awareness to identify and name intention
  • functional movement that cultivates awareness that holds the connection to the interplay of body movement, reactive behaviour, thinking and emotions
  • functioning relationships that cultivates awareness the holds the connection to the interplay of what’s real in the moment, what one thinks, and how one responds
  • value-based programs to support inner discernment to transform  moral judgments into value based judgments

Finding your intention and creating a target for meeting the goals of who you long to be with these programs 

The learning modules here at Inside Awareness can be specific to life areas whether you are:

  • looking for your life purpose
  • seeking to improve your relationships to all life
  • wanting to enhance your physical abilities
  • introduce a sense of sacredness in your environment

Each module are concrete actions steps that bring one into the shift they long for.

Each module has a foundation in practical steps and have applications that are logical yet bring focus to the elusive.

Renee focuses upon switching back on one’s inherent ability to learn where the experience becomes the teacher and the student becomes the sage.

The intention is to increases creativity and expressiveness in living.by Renee Lindstrom

Awareness Through Living Mentoring Programs Available:

 1st Level – Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
 2nd Level – Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
 3rd Level – Integration (Embodiment)

 

Follow the journey on TwitterInstagram or Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2014 – 2020 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP

Sage responses for when the pain of break up is increased by thinking over past events

Being the one who is broken up with can be the most challenging and chaotic as the minds condition has no choice but to go into what it has been trained to do.  Such as:

  • Blaming & Shaming
  • Right & Wrong Thinking
  • Make moral judgments
  • and more…..

I have been there myself.  I have experienced the open darkness of pain where it feels like there is a tear in the fabric of my reality.  When I sought out support and empathy whether it was professional or in my personal friend group I wasn’t thrown the kind of lifeline for  my grief and regret that steered me through the depth of emotions.  Rather it added to the chaotic thinking emotions and increased the effort to sort out.  Recently in the midst of supporting someone else’s break up I had a moment where  I considered how much I would have benefited to have someone  support me with this type of feedback, while recognizing this will have to be repeated until the chaos of the mind training settles and one can enter more permanently into the experience of sadness and forgiveness that is the letting go process.


When I listen to  you I am taken into your story of regret and grief. I hear that you are replaying events in your mind thru the lens of pain you’re feeling now stimulated by this break up. Replaying events is part of the grieving process, however I encourage you to be aware that the need in the moment you made those choices then is far different than the one now. The present need is based on this current event and it cannot go back and preside over past events.

The current event is stimulating your pain body and your memories are surfacing. Putting attachment to them by going into assessing and criticizing yourself is feeding the pain your feeling. These thoughts are false realities. The truth is that in this moment you’re a feeling deep sorrow and pain as you experience this loss.


by Renee Lindstrom

Awareness Through Communication

 1st Level – Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
 2nd Level – Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
 3rd Level – Integration (Embodiment)

Follow the journey on TwitterInstagram or Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2007 – 2020 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP

I was reminded of how sympathy can influence not being seen or heard

For me it is an experience of one merging their pain with an others.

Going into sympathy reflects merging old pain together with an others circumstances.

Let me explain.

In a circle with Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in 2004, he began demonstrating a deepened empathy pattern and I found myself curious about how some of us in the circle were independently holding the space and others where crying in sorrow.  I asked an advanced trainer who had worked with Dr. Rosenberg for many years about the differences in experience.  I was told that those who were not sobbing  didn’t have a similar pain as the person who was receiving empathy.  Those who were  had that same abuse in their lifetime that stimulated old pain.   Fortunately this intensive was to transition from moral judgments and right and wrong thinking.  This explanation was shared with clarity and as a matter of fact.  What I learned was that those identifying with the pain had an opportunity to heal themselves in witnessing the resolution in the person who was receiving empathy from Dr. Rosenberg.  The key was to feel their pain rise up and let their thoughts rest.  The skill was to resist  going into their own story that would hijack the circumstances away from the speaker.  I call this the ultimate witnessing ability.  (This is when you can stop yourself from hijacking someones story away from them and making it about you.)

Empathy practice, the NVC way, is to fully hear what someone is saying without interpreting it back through your past experiences and personal perspectives.  The only way someone is going to feel seen and heard is if you are able to listen to their words while being attentive to what you are hearing.  The following ways of habitually listening are not empathetic, instead they challenge the speaker.

  • Comparisons – telling your perspective or someone elses
  • Being an authority
  • Moral Judgments – no right and wrong, not speaking to what’s wrong with someone
  • Assessments
  • Diagnosis
  • Labeling
  • Criticizing
  • Coming up with solutions
  • Asking questions – your job is to listen, not understand

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Author or Nonviolent Communication
NVC – Nonviolent Communication

Book a personalized  session for self, work or group
250-361-7508

Awareness Through Communication

 1st Level – Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
 2nd Level – Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
 3rd Level – Integration (Embodiment)

Follow the journey on TwitterInstagram or Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2007 – 2020 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP

Zodiac for Daily Goals to Inspire Intuition 

Moon Zodiac for daily personal goal setting 

The moon affects changes as it passes through the zodiac constellations that Astrologists believe influences our life.  Its gravitational pull makes it the second strongest influence after the sun and Astrologers use the path of the moon as a guide to explore human personality and activities.   

Scroll down under Astrological signs for 3 step exercise to integrate these signs into daily use and to read more on why they are an effective integration tool that can support understanding the labyrinth of your mind and those of others to improve relationships.

 


Renee began exploring the moons influence on the essence of human emotions and their reactions to certain situations as a way to broaden the perspective of what her students/clients were learning to lighten up the process of inner change.  The moon can influence human creativity, imagination and ability to attract other people and it is a great guide for cutting through the constructs of black and white (right and wrong) thinking that lacks mindfulness, understanding and empathy.  This personal journey into the labyrinth of ones mind can create an emphatic understanding into the labyrinth of another’s mind.


Moon Zodiac daily goal exercise

to inspire intuition

A daily 3 step exercise Renee recommends as a template for increasing a mindful connection between emotional wellness and ones focus of attention.  A shift in ones focus of attention can increase understanding, clarity and intuition and reduce destructive reactions inside oneself or with others.  Actions can become mindful and be constructive versus destructive.  Try these 3 steps as a daily exercise using the 12 astrological moon signs as a guide.

  1. Start by reading the daily zodiac sign influence and choose up to 3 actions for the day.  This can be done in the morning, or evening before.  (If it is done the evening before you may be pleasantly surprised by the difference in your motivation upon rising.)
  2. As you take actions in the day pause a moment before you check it off your mental to do list.  Begin to notice any sensations that you may have and remember to make a mental note of it.
  3. At the end of the day stop to check in to your daily action plan. Reflect upon the feelings of celebration for completed tasks or the feelings of regret for uncompleted ones.
    1. Notice the felt sense differences between the two; celebrations and regrets.
    2. Try to cut through any stories you are telling yourself that try to justify why you did or didn’t complete your task.  Instead,  “*Focus your attention on what your emotions are and begin to observe what you are feeling instead of reacting to them.” 
    3. Be constructive and put names to your emotions. Start replacing destructive judgments.  This builds a mental-emotional feelings vocabulary that is an essential to a  mindful-heart connection in Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s model of Nonviolent Communication.
 *This is one missing step in our cultural social emotional education.  However it is never too late to learn how to become more mentally and emotionally resilient and flexible.

Learning  to be in your feelings is the start of retraining your mind to be curious about them.

The next step is to identify the root cause of the feelings inside that you are beginning to name and become more comfort with exploring the environment they are creating from which you act from.  To learn more on how to make this connection consider an upcoming workshop with Renee or an on-going dialogue series.  Go to her calendar or list of communication workshops for more information, or connect with her for a personal one on one for those difficult events.


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication,  Empathy,  Values Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

16 Reasons why to explore Body, Mind & Heart Connection @ Inside Awareness?

INTEGRATION, LEARNING & DEVELOPMENT

  1. Experience a deeper connection to self.
  2. Improve your posture! Walk, sit, stand, sleep, breathe, think and feel better.
  3. Understand the influences of your environment; external and internal!
  4. Increase self-value and  deepen inner trust and know you are doing what is right for you.
  5. Connect to your boundaries and learn how to voice them in a safe way without conflict!
  6. Stop compromising, learn how to have  choice.
  7. Increase your understanding of your self-image and how it is holding your back from success!
  8. Stop feeling alone & lonely?
  9. Turn abusive relationships into empowering experiences!
  10. Stop doubting yourself when it comes to decision-making.
  11. Learn how to transition from taking things personally by developing skills to translate difficult messages.
  12. Move through fear to build relationships and find love.
  13. Understand how to resolve differences.
  14. Improve your odds of finding partnerships where you are  valued.
  15. End your relationships with more ease, respect and  move forward with less attachment!
  16. Become aware of the culture you are creating in your parenting style (or of your parents and their’s before them).

Read more:

about Inside Awareness 

Upcoming local Classes & Workshops

Upcoming Calendar

Taking a risk in ‘relationships’

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP

Last night I encouraged a couple to take a risk and be honest with each other and to listen to the message in what each is saying  while trying not to be defensive.  This morning I came across this  great piece, author unknown.

To laugh is to risk appearing foolish.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

To live is to risk dying.

 

Yet risks are often taken,

because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risk nothing

may avoid suffering and sorrow,

Yet he reduces his chances to learn, feel, change, grow, love or live.

Chained by his opinions,

He forfeits the opportunity to contribute

to the growth of the whole.

 

To risk is our gift and our choice. 

 


Feldenkrais Method® of Somatic Movement Education

Recent Comment:  Thank you for the amazing session which helped me to better understand the pain and anxiety issues I’ve been dealing with. Very insightful experience. I felt way more relaxed Friday evening and I’m monitoring myself to help ensure I’m releasing tension and breathing properly. Am impressed by it and by your skills. D

Transitioning from Language of Conflict into Language of Connection (based on Nonviolent Communication)

Recent Comment:  I love your cogent analysis of emotions = energy + story. So, emotions – story = energy freed. Yeh! thx, pat zzz
Recent Comment: Thanks very much for your wonderful classes and the way you teach us. I really appreciate that you have given the class a bit of extra time at the end to allow everyone to have their turn. I look forward to truly learning this technique of communicating and experiencing richer relations with people. R
Lifescapes (Landscapes)

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Jaw Release Program since 2007, Authored  Achieving your Goals  31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kid’s Peace Bus Calendar of Values  Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.  Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children

Parent – Child Relationship Transformational Cycle transcends species

by Renee Lindstrom
A year ago this month I received a call for help from one of my own kids.  They no longer lived on Vancouver Island so it wasn’t as though I could go and rescue them!  In the ongoing telephone calls of support I learned of a cat that this kid found solace with.  I loved that cat sight unseen!

As plans were made to helicopter this kid out of this situation, I realized the cat would be left, however, I knew that she would be visiting me at some point.  Two to three months later this kid came to stay with me and we made plans to pick up the cat.

The arrival of this small cat was interesting.  She entered as a warrior and strutted around the house like she owned it even though she had never seen it before.  Her tail stood straight out for days and was hard and inflexible.  She behaved like a feral cat.  After two weeks I stood looking at her and told myself that I had to let her go.  I told myself I couldn’t tolerate this and that I had given her enough, yet she hadn’t changed.  Then another inner voice questioned me and said,  “Really! What about the empathy that you have for your students and clients that help them experience transformation.”

Hearing that question I committed to not labeling this cat and to become more empathetic with her.    I realized that her behavior was scaring me.  I had expected a warm and loving cat and what came was a distant, cold warrior! So I became warm and loving.  I anticipated her needs until she began asking for things that she needed. They was an immediate shift!  One day she came up to me at eye level and searched my eyes for a long time.  I can only imagine that she was seeking reassurance.  Over this year I have witnessed and experienced  a complete  transformation as she settles.  She still has a wild nature however I am learning that means she needs to play!

I would have never thought I would become that person who talks about her cat. Well I do!  My other kid who still lives off the island, which means our visits are by phone and on-line,  receives many pictures and stories of the latest heart warming moments with this cat  I experience!

As the anniversary date approaches I have become aware that the kid that came home has also gone through their own transformation.  Prior to coming home I gave some consideration to their status as my kid.  I wondered  and worried if it was my job to tell them everything they were doing wrong and what they needed to fix.  You know,  being mom!  Well I quickly threw that thought into the rubbish!  I decided to accept, empathize and to love unconditionally.  However, what I did decide to do is ask for my needs to be met as they arose in the present!

I began to listen for their needs more closely.  As the kitty cat transformed, so did this kid.  There is more confidence, self-respect, self-assurance and self-love demonstrated. Rather than impart my wisdom on what I think they should be doing, they approach me when they are ready and ask for empathy and/or advice.  The story that unfolds in front of me is of how they are managing their relationships differently and being more assertive in creating their own boundaries in a non-violent or abusive way.  They are also addressing the abusive nature of others reactions in a clear more productive way!

Don’t get me wrong, I do ask questions way about some things that are important for me and that I think could benefit them, however it is not in a way that they feel I know what’s best for them.  It is simply a check in to find out what is important for them.

As my youngest left home, I had four months on my own without kids.  Having this one move back was a no-brain-or for me however, I wondered what it would mean.  You know, what would I have to give up?  Well I am happy to admit to you and myself that I have gained a loving and supportive relationship with a kid that I thought I had lost as they went their own way.

One of the ways that deepened this relationship was their observation of how I was with their cat, believe it or not.  Many times I saw them look at the two of us, the cat and I, in a funny way.  They had left home with a perception of mom that was based upon their own experience of wanting (not getting their needs met).  Now they where actually witnessing a different pattern than what they interpreted in their teen years when we had opposing needs! As they started to recognize the loving connection between the cat and I, they allowed themselves to experience the loving connection that they didn’t know or forgotten was there!

This cat has created the experience that I imagine most moms and kids experience with grand-babies!    Taking care of my own children gave me the opportunity to have empathy for my own parents and now I wonder if grand-babies would also enhance compassion and understanding!  My parents were gone prior to the birth of my children so I will have to experience it with my kids, kids!

What about your parenting experiences?  Are you letting your children have autonomy?  Are you building relationships with your young adult children or are you still trying to parent them?


I began a personal practice of Nonviolent Communication in my home in 2001. My children where five and 7 and one – half years old.  I believe those studying Nonviolent Communication in the Greater Victoria Region all began in around 1999.  For me, I believe my children and others whose parents began studying at the same time,  have been immersed in this communication through the modeling of the parents through out their life. Therefore it is in their behavior and apart of their cultural understanding.    I have observed a huge difference in their behavior and that of  myself and those I grew up with.
Renee Lindstrom

Transitioning from Language of Conflict into Language of Connection (based on Nonviolent Communication)

Recent Comment:  I love your cogent analysis of emotions = energy + story. So, emotions – story = energy freed. Yeh! thx, pat zzz
Recent Comment: Thanks very much for your wonderful classes and the way you teach us. I really appreciate that you have given the class a bit of extra time at the end to allow everyone to have their turn. I look forward to truly learning this technique of communicating and experiencing richer relations with people.
Lifescapes (Landscapes)
Learn more about Nonviolent Communication by author Dr. Marshall Rosenberg

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Jaw Release Program since 2007, Authored  Achieving your Goals  31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kid’s Peace Bus Calendar of Values  Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.  Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children