Tag Archives: mental-health

9 common reasons not to invest in yourself

Take time to read some of the outcomes of others who have had these same excuses underneath.

1. I’m not interested.

Are you, your partner and peers empowered by your connection and satisfied with your relationships? Are your interactions successfully executed and in the energy of gratification?

2. Everything is going fine, thanks.

Are you settled into a groove of accepting what life throws at you and not interested in connecting to how to enrich your life and bring aliveness to yours and others experiences?

3. I’m too busy now.

Are you too overwhelmed and coping just to get by?

4. I’ve heard this before, how do I know you can perform?

This is about how you perform and finding new ways for increasing your success rate!

5. Who are you and what do you do?

I am an objective third-party that can translate the behaviors that are keeping you, your partner, peers and family from hearing each other and find mutual agreements for moving forward towards success!

6. What can you possibly teach me?

Your blind spots that are your weaknesses.

7. I’ve worked with a consultant before and it didn’t work.

That is no reason to give up and not find a person more suited to your unique needs.

8. I can’t afford your services

If this is the case, you can not afford not to have someone to support your increased success rate with employee and client relationships.

9. That all sounds great, but I have no money

Best time to invest in yourself. You are your own resource!

Some case studies:

These cases  focus upon doubt that they can’t afford coaching or are resistant to change:

1.  Husband is diagnosed with critical condition and wife is not able to cope with the fear of loosing him.  Why?  She believes she has not had any responsibility in their marriage and fears she cannot take care of herself.  Rather than enjoying the remaining time together and increase his healing potential, the focus is on her as she collapses.  Even to the point that she cannot drive and he is responsible for getting her to her appointments and his own.  He visibly should not be behind the wheel.  He passes away after a year of disruption, confusion, anxiety without any recognition and lack of loving connection.  She discovers that her live continues.

2.  Husband is unable to share feeling about children and time they take from his relationship with his wife.  He goes into resentment with his partner and dislikes his children and eventually he looses his business and family in despair.  Children grow up believing father does not love them and they are lacking in some way.

How could they not afford coaching – the cost was higher than they expected!

A few cases receiving somatic coaching with Renee Lindstrom:

3.  Wife and husband are married for over 20 years and are unable to resolve their differences in a way that each partner feels mutually heard and that they matter.  They have a business together that they both work in.  Coaching began after one partner has left the marriage home and one partner became suicidal.  With coaching both partners are able to move forward separately while supporting one another through the transition and reaching a mutual settlement that included value for each of them.

2.  A client’s health history created a search for solutions from many sources that didn’t show any signs of supporting an increase in mobility and wellness.  After only a few sessions this person experienced increased mobility that translated into a renewed joy in living.  A bleak future of deterioration became one of optimism.

3.  Clients that when young business people did not seek support to change their ability to be in relationships.  As elders now they experience life without a community.  They didn’t have families and didn’t take time to develop their social network.  As their abilities decrease and they can no longer distract themselves with the usual activities,  they find themselves in a state of despair.  They are  faced with the pain they ran away from as children and alone.  They long to be taken care of and supported in their increasingly ill-health.  There is no one who is that interested in them.  Their doctors get tired of seeing them for every little ailment real and imaginary and begin searching frantically to find support.   Sessions consist of reducing their anxiety levels so that they can relax and reduce their stress.  At a time of enjoying their later years they are dealing with depression and longing to die.  Honest conversation, accountability discussions and empathy coaching turns hopelessness into hopefulness.



Last week and tip #1 was about learning to read others:  

  • Practice of observing the posture in others and their tone of voice as they speak.  Consider the state of their emotions and the story they are telling themselves.
This weeks tip #2:
  • Now notice how the body and spoken language of others affect you.  Begin to explore how they  influence your thoughts in either a negative or positive way.  Notice if your reaction is to stay open with understanding or do you close off and dismiss their contribution?  What is your body language?  
This week notice your body language, comfort level  and thoughts that arise with your employees, peers and clients. Ask yourself, “How am I being influenced by ………..?
  • Observe your tone of voice, body stance (soft and comfortable or rigid and controlled) 

All skilled, influence-empowered people harness their own behavior first.

Step three ~ coming next week

Find out how business programs can support you and your business:  

  • EMAIL – renee(at)insideawareness(dot)com
  • FOLLOW  on Twitter @InsideAwareness 

Understand your needs, follow posts of calendar of values 

Behavior & best & worst times for change:


Behavior & best & worst times for change:

  • Monday Evening (Yesterday) ~ First Quarter
    Best time for noticing details and initiating change


Self Aware
Early rising
Increase in exercise, strength
Developing and Initiating Change
Socializing more
Increased awareness & compassion
Women:  Loving, Intimate, Sharing Secrets
Men:  Burst of emotions, flirtatious
Sleeping is deeper with dreams of past

Viewpoint and anxiety

People are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them.


________________________________________________________________Inside’s Daily Inspirations – Being yourself

Top 7 signs your love relationship is struggling

RelationshipSo much of your time in being a twosome is spend taking care of things and being busy.  You both have schedules of your own and one with your  partner and  children if you have any.  You know when family chores have to be done,  when bills need to be paid and when anyone is unwell or sick.  You strive to have a healthy home and family.  But in these efforts to live  a family life, you often overlook the glue that holds your  family together.  The  intimacy in your  relationship that makes you a couple.  Everything around you may be nice but your relationship is suffering and needs tending and care.  What are the telltale signs that your relationship is struggling?

1.     Fear & Resentment

You know there are things you should be doing to help your relationship thrive, but you avoid them because they make you uncomfortable.  Maybe they don’t seem interesting or naturally compelling or you believe in “following your joy”. You feel less confident about speaking up about issues that are important to you and put them on the back burner. You may choose the path of least resistance, least risk and least learning or effort until it is a crisis. With the added pressure and stress of a crisis, it is hard to do anything effectively or authentically when driven by fear. It’s a vicious cycle and waste of time and peace of mind.

2.  Avoiding Issues in Your Relationship

Your relationship with your partner is unpredictable and wearing thin. You don’t have a clear sense of what is expected of you or what you expect yourself in each moment. You love your home, your children, your community, but at times you put your head in the sand when it comes to really knowing “where things are at” between you and your partner.  You don’t know how to develop intimacy in your relationship.  You have had more than your share of lost opportunities to be valued by your partner or to value them.  The ego loves ambiguity and uses it to create stress and worry, robbing you of joy in your relationship.

3.      When Meaning is Missing  from Your Relationship

When you have put aside your faith or life philosophy for the relationship and if it is not the inner source for your actions  it creates a compartmentalized life. Cut off from intention and  source of what motivates you, your relationship can start to feel devoid of inspiration and purpose, resulting in depressed daily functions.   This is often when partners say they feel alone in their relationship, with heavy burdens on their shoulders, contributing to relationships burnout.

4.      Walking in the Disconnected Relationship

This is when relationships feels like work and as though there is no purpose. Your marriage can feel like there is no mutuality and that there is no point of connection.  It is not easy and you feel like it takes huge effort just to get the smallest thing done. You feel resentment when considering how much effort, time and energy your relationship requires. You may secretly wish you could cancel your marriage.  You have lost the memory of  the positive aspects of what you once loved in being a couple.  This is relationship burnout.

5.      You Feel Abandoned and Alone

You don’t know where to turn or how to start.  You feel frustrated at putting effort into this, or the efforts you are making are not yielding results. You feel discomfort, concern or fear when you and your partner move farther apart or disagree.   In the absence of a thriving relationship in your marriage you begin to feel like anyone else would be a better match for you.   You have lost track of you and the integrity of your commitment.  You secretly hope that a new partner will have the qualities that you feel are lacking in your current relationship.  You believe you should be enough and that you deserve to be loved and feel the affection that has been lost and that you will find this in a new partner.  Sadly, we know that is not the case.

6.      Current Communication Sucks

You are angry and hurt that your partner is not fulfilling your needs and that your relationship does not show your true self. You don’t care if your partner is getting their needs met in your relationships or not, yet you do care about what they are doing.  You may begin to control everything to try and find the support you need without considering what they need or even to consider if they want to take part. Physical intimacy is a source of guilt and anxiety.   If you haven’t had successful moments of intimacy in your communication experiences you may have become restrictive with your affection towards one another.    Things are beginning to fall apart and you can’t keep on top of it.  You may come up with ideas to fix things, such as replacing furniture, changing your address, increasing your family in some way, seeking therapy all the while hoping it will work this time! You may feel like circumstances are working against you more than they are working for you. Good news is, this is a pretty easy fix if you are ready, willing and committed.

7.      Bad Communication

You tend to seek help when you realize that you are about to separate, maybe become divorced and lose everything you have worked for.  Your goals have only ever considered your financial future and where you want to be financially in the future, where you will live, where your children will go to college and your retirement.  You have never had clear relationships goals and no planning has gone into what make your relationship harmonious and one that equally values each person.  There are no clearly established agreements that support what is meaningful for each partner.  Somewhere an unspoken assumption is that one partner has to do what the other wants and give up their dream as we have been taught there is a winner and a looser.  We have never experienced two winners in a relationship before so how would we know how to create this in our own relationships?  Without the skills to create a relationship that each partner equally matters, you feel frustrated at the reality that learning how to do this is actually an ongoing process of building trust so that you can experience intimacy and rapport. It will need constant nurturing and attention for most of the life of your relationship.

As a fellow human being who loves being in relationships, I have had times in my life when I  have experienced relationships when they were not in balance, resulted in separation and divorce.   On a daily basis, clients come for support to regain wellness and balance.  Most times it is  the end of their relationship and not at the beginning or middle when it would be time to seek support to create wellness in the relationships now for future sustainability.  If your marriage is in the spirit of who you are, what you do is the relationship.  You need wellness in both to create thriving intimate relationship.

At getting Intouch Coaching, I specialize in helping partners in relationships move into healthy balance to create thriving and intimate relationships mentally, emotionally and physically.  Connect with me at Inside Awareness for Healthy Living to find out how to increase the vitality in your relationship.  Isn’t now the time to begin to take the steps and make the effort where it really matters?  In the center point from which all your experiences start from?  Contact info is renee (at) insideawareness (dot) com or two,five,zero-three,six,one-seven,five,zero,eight.


Body Image and Breathing

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness, Living in Natures Love Blog & Renee Lindstrom Live

PrintExplore Feldenkrais in 2 ways:
  1. Group Glasses & Workshops called:  Awareness through Movement or ATM (Classes below)
  2. Individual Sessions called:  Functional Integration (for increasing available movement for conditions, injuries, athletes, musicians, dancers and development

Cultivating Awareness through ATM focused upon Breathing

First Movement Awareness Workshop in a Series of Three called,  Breathe Easier 

The focus of our recent workshop was our spine and the relationship between the spine and breathing.  Yes, the spine!  Consider a moment if you have ever connected to the flexibility of your spine to the quality of breathing you are experiencing.   To begin integrating the vertebrate and spine into breathing, we began with a  picture demonstrating the curvature of the spine.  The intention was to start releasing a rigid posture into a more relaxed one through use of our imagination.  How many times to you visualize your spine in a day?

Learning then shifted focus as we went  into experiencing some simple movements.  Steps were added to increase the experience as we went along.  The awareness came through the changes class members began to notice in themselves.

For their benefit, here are some reminders for the week ahead.  Each one can be done separately during the day or in combination by adding the steps in progression.  REMEMBER:  The quality of your movement matters.  Slow it down, make it same and learn to cut your effort.  Do only 20 percent of your big movements!  Learning matters and it only happens when you slow down and pay attention.

Breathing Logo


  • Soften upper chest area to allow expansion and retraction with in and out breaths
  • Remember there are no lungs in the belly.  Belly breathing is specific to an activity like singing, dance – it is NOT the only way to breathe
  • Begin to pull belly in when breathing in and notice where the air goes.
  • Begin to push out breath in to belly and notice the chest sink.
  • Practice this for a few rotations during the day, perhaps when waking and before going to bed and let the practice go and simply notice any differences.


  • Spend time sitting on the front edge of your chair and notice if you can sense your sit bones.
  • Feet flat on floor under your knees.
  • Knees and legs in alignment to your hips, so, hip width apart.
  • Relax your back so that you can sense any slight adjustments
  • Notice your head on top of your spine and that it is  opposite your pelvis.
  • Unlock your neck and as you breath in bring your weight forward on your sit bones.
  • Let the movement come from your pelvis and continue to relax your upper body.
  • After following your in breathe several times begin following your out breath
  • As you breath out let your weight shift back on your sit bones. 
  • Continue to soften upper chest and neck.
  • Begin to alternation and notice when your lower back arches forward and when it rounds back.


  • Hands resting on your thighs.
  • A few times as you breath in bring your shoulder blades closer to your spine.
  • Then switch and as you exhale widen the space between your shoulder blades.
  • Alternate for a few breaths and then stop and notice any changes.


  • With an in breath let eyes, nose and chin travel up so that your chin moves away from your chest.
  • After a few in breaths stop and follow your outward breath.
  • When you exhale let you chin drop slightly towards your chest.
  • After some time begin to alternate with your cycle of breathing.
  • Stop and notice where your attention goes.


  • Soften your eyes.
  • Begin to let your eyes travel up to the ceiling as you breath in and bring them back to the horizon in front of you as you exhale.
  • After some time begin to let your nose and chin travel up after your eyes start the movement.
  • Notice if you see everything in between the two points or do your eye jump.  What do you need to do to slow your eye movement to see everything?
  • Stop, wait a moment and notice.
  • Now take your eyes down towards the floor a few times with your outward breathe.
  • Add the movement of the chin and nose letting your eyes lead.
  • Stop, notice for a few breaths and then begin to alternate between the two.
  • Stop and notice.

As mentioned above, benefits can be achieved by practicing each of the above separately or doing one movement for a short time and then adding the next area to it increasing it.  REMEMBER  it is to be done slow, easy with many stops for noticing changes.  It’s not in the effort, it in learning to cut your effort.

See you all at the second in our series.   I look forward to seeing how you have integrated the changes and if your movements reflect your own image of what you are going.  Sometimes we think we are doing something and it is not what is actually happening.  One of the benefits of being coached is a coach can see the outcome more clearly!

Connect with Renee

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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

Integrating the emotional and physical behaviors into ones own image of self

In private sessions with clients there is less distraction and the benefit can be  deepened awareness of their  own behavior.  This includes clarity  of how reactions are dependent on both thinking and locked in movement patterns.    The two are locked into behavior!

Clients searching for a change in their relationships will enjoy the simple movement techniques I introduce to increase their focus.   Some will begin to alternate between talking and movement sessions.  Both these types of sessions are designed to increase the success in their progress and are compatible.

Clients who come for improving their movement and reducing pain will find themselves integrating their emotional reactions that are  keeping them in their pain and strain.

Both types of clients discover physical movement and emotional reactions are married together in their reactions.  They come to know  the  value in  learning their automatic  habits.  If someone is able to observe their habits then there will be change.

One example is  a  client who discovered one of the largest muscles in their body and that they had not been using them.  They didn’t even know at first how to engage it!    This client originally came to improve their relationship connections.  To relieve their tension and increase their breathing patterns  I introduced small movements  for them to experience.  Afterwards  our sessions began to alternate between the two types of sessions, movement awareness and talking awareness.

They discovered a large muscle that was dormant and not being used.  They realized the strain that this put on their whole body in the effort to move in any activity.  They also realized they did not even know  how to activate this muscle.  There was no connection to the brain signals.

Then came  the awareness of  tension being held in another set of muscles.  The control that went into holding these muscles stopped any ability to  engage these new ones!  The control of this other set of muscles was directly related to emotional behavior!  The balance then came from intellectually knowing one is safe and supported to begin to release control.

I love my work!  When clients can experience their journey through learning techniques their journey is more concise and clear.  There is beauty in waking up the parts that have no brain awareness!  When this client stopped using these big muscles the brain lost the memory of it.  Therefore there is a disconnection until they relearn they have these muscles and  how to use it.  If they are not aware that they have stopped using it,  how will they even know about it?

This is something that cannot be learned through outside sources and activities. It takes a control environment of focused somatic learning.  

When the education stops change begin!