Tag Archives: Empathy

I was reminded of how sympathy can influence not being seen or heard

For me it is an experience of one merging their pain with an others.

Going into sympathy reflects merging old pain together with an others circumstances.

Let me explain.

In a circle with Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in 2004, he began demonstrating a deepened empathy pattern and I found myself curious about how some of us in the circle were independently holding the space and others where crying in sorrow.  I asked an advanced trainer who had worked with Dr. Rosenberg for many years about the differences in experience.  I was told that those who were not sobbing  didn’t have a similar pain as the person who was receiving empathy.  Those who were  had that same abuse in their lifetime that stimulated old pain.   Fortunately this intensive was to transition from moral judgments and right and wrong thinking.  This explanation was shared with clarity and as a matter of fact.  What I learned was that those identifying with the pain had an opportunity to heal themselves in witnessing the resolution in the person who was receiving empathy from Dr. Rosenberg.  The key was to feel their pain rise up and let their thoughts rest.  The skill was to resist  going into their own story that would hijack the circumstances away from the speaker.  I call this the ultimate witnessing ability.  (This is when you can stop yourself from hijacking someones story away from them and making it about you.)

Empathy practice, the NVC way, is to fully hear what someone is saying without interpreting it back through your past experiences and personal perspectives.  The only way someone is going to feel seen and heard is if you are able to listen to their words while being attentive to what you are hearing.  The following ways of habitually listening are not empathetic, instead they challenge the speaker.

  • Comparisons – telling your perspective or someone elses
  • Being an authority
  • Moral Judgments – no right and wrong, not speaking to what’s wrong with someone
  • Assessments
  • Diagnosis
  • Labeling
  • Criticizing
  • Coming up with solutions
  • Asking questions – your job is to listen, not understand

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Author or Nonviolent Communication
NVC – Nonviolent Communication

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog Renee Lindstrom Live
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Out of balance emotions & behaviours of Leo sign

Leo the fire sign

Leo is ruled by the Sun and this fire sign influences action.  In balance it reflects qualities of love, expression, creativity, fun, playfulness.

The needs of this sign are love, self love,  attention and loving family, and  community.

How behaviours of out of balance Leo may manifest

Fear:  Being unlovable, lack of being trusted

Fear Response:  Seeking Attention

Common Leo out of balance emotional statements:

  • “You don’t trust me.”
  • “I don’t trust you.”
  • “You don’t pay enough attention to me.”
  • “You don’t want my attention.”

Sharing ways to consciously align with this sign in earlier posts focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement to support the areas governed by Leo.

Now focus is on ways to process Leo’s reactions when out of balance.

The predominate perceptual sense of this sign is “seeing (vision).”

The need is expression and fame.

3 additional ways to balance Leo emotions  

#1.  Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • “I don’t trust you,” can start with deeper reflection first before making any statements.  The feelings could be of jealousy, feelings of hurt or fear and the obvious need is for trust.  
More on empathy – Self-empathizing, Empathize with others

#2.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Turn separation into moments of connection:

“I am disappointed when I  hear you say,  Mom, I went to a party last night after I promised to go to a friends to study.  Ken, I have a need for trust. ”  

 More on learning to speak with intention

#3.  Balance and calm Leo’s environment

Awareness of Space

Leo needs a castle to entertain and with the dominate sense being vision it is important to have a clutter free, clean environment.  Leo would like large beautiful and artful homes, offices and furniture that make a statement.

More on Creating a space using intention

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Gemini

This air signs has the gift of storytelling and loves clarity.  In balance Gemini qualities are excellent for communicating.  The needs in Gemini are for slowing down to learn, engage in a knowledgeable way and commit to choices.

How behaviours of out of balance Gemini may manifest

Fear:  Lack of Intelligence in self & others

Fear Response:  Nervousness

Common Gemini out of balance emotional statements:

  • “You don’t understand?”
  • “You’re not listening!”
  • “I am not stupid you know!”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Gemini emotions  

#1.  Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Gemini with “I Her that you think…….”Or “I hear you say you understand……”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

 

#2.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Gemini environment – Awareness of Space

Gemini loves technology, art, cameras, books and writing kits that stimulates knowledge and learning.  Gemini hates clutter and needs space to move around in and simple lines to keep clutter free. More on creating a space to balance Gemini reactions.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

MENTORING IS AVAILABLE FOR EFFECTIVE PERSONAL  INTEGRATION

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

 

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Taurus

This sensitive earth sign influences all five of our sensibilities; touch, taste, sight, sound and smell.  Taurus needs are for abundance, stability, support, loyalty, to be grounded and heard.

How behaviours of out of balance Taurus may manifest

Fear:  Poverty

Fear Response:  Obsession with Materialism

Common Aries out of balance emotional statements:

  • “You don’t deserve it!”
  • “You’re so stubborn!”
  • “You never listen to me!”
  • “I don’t feel heard!”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Taurus emotions  

#1.  Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Taurus with “I hear you say…….….”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

 

#2.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Pisces environment – Awareness of Space

This earth sign is deeply sensitive to the environment and their needs are for luxury, comfort and  harmony.  A sign of the sensibilities their style will include visual and textured beauty such as expensive art and their preferred styles are  conservative and traditional.  More on Calming decor accents for out of balance Taurus behaviours.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

 

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

 

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Aries

Pixabay

This fire sign needs are for strength, triumph, action, leadership, strong body and confidence.

How behaviours of out of balance Aries may manifest

Fear:  Weakness/Cowardice/isolation

Fear Response:  Anger/Violence/Demanding

Common Aries out of balance emotional statements:

  • “You started it!”
  • “Leave me alone!”
  • “I don’t need you!”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Pisces emotions  

#1.  Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Aries with “You believe…….….”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

 

#2.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

 

#3.  Balance and calm Pisces environment – Awareness of Space

Aries enjoys fiery colours especially red.  Muted colours are depressing for this sign.  A sign of competition and conquest can translate into a display of winning symbols to transform negative drive urges into creative and healthy actions.    Aries needs clean open spaces so does best in a clean and open environment with room to create, exercise and meditate.  Read more on some examples of Aries decor accents to support balance.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Pisces

Pisces

Pisces seeks a mission with clear boundaries.  This planet influences faith and beliefs that magic can happen.  It longs for soul mates, higher consciousness and expression.

How behaviours of out of balance Pisces may manifest

Fear:  Emotional Pain

Fear Response:  Victim Behavior

Common Pisces out of balance emotional statements:

  • “It’s not my fault!”
  • “You took advantage of me.”
  • “I am confused.”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Pisces emotions  

#1.  Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Pisces with “I hear you believe…….….”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

#2.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Pisces environment – Awareness of Space

Pisces is a water sign and reflects sensitive and intuitive dreamers.   This sign does best with  sea greens and  ocean blues, and natural fabrics such as silk.  A water feature using a fountain can create harmony for Pisces.  Some examples of Pisces Features for out of balance behaviours. 

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Aquarius

Aquarius

The needs of Aquarius are for belonging, connection, community, friendships, a tribe of like-minded people, to take risks and mental stimulus through science and technology.

How behaviours of out of balance Aquarius may manifest

Fear:  Abandonment

Fear Response:  Detachment

Common Aquarius out of balance emotional statements:

  • “You never give me any space.”
  • “I haven’t withdrawn, you’re imaging it.”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal setting, foods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Aquarius emotions  

#1.  Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Aquarius with “I see you are….”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

#2.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Capricorn  environment – Awareness of Space

Aquarius do best in modern and futuristic environments.  The materials best suited for this sign bare hardwood floors and modern materials like glass and steel. An air element indicates this sign does best reflecting an airiness, while the symbol of a water-bear suggests urns, vases, water features.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live