Tag Archives: Relationships

Relationships Matter: ‘Couples Intimacy ‘


“If there are problems in the bedroom, there’s conflict!”

“If there are problems in the relationship there are problems in the bedroom!”

These are two comments I made at our 3rd Removing Obstacles to Love workshop last night!  Our conversation was focused on the aspects of our primary relationships.  Breaking it down into bite sized pieces, so to speak,  there are four areas of focus in our primary relationships that affect each other.  They are:

  1. Family/Community/Social Network
  2. Household Health/Financial
  3. Relationship (Interaction & Behavior)
  4. Intimacy

Our consideration was on the dynamics of unresolved issues and  how some people can compartmentalized their relationship issues and still be intimate while others need to have resolution on outstanding issues to have their needs for safety met to be vulnerable enough for intimacy!

Where are you in this topic?  Do you need the resolution of your unresolved issues with your partner to be as intimate as you like?  

In this scenario, I suggested that if couples are open and honest with each other and they speak up about what is important to them in the moment that this present connection could lead them to intimacy.  Why?  It is the connection that is important, not the issues.  Any unresolved issues is about not be seen, not being heard and not being valued!  My recommendations are to slow down and listen.  Learn to listen to your partners soul and your own!


 Read more on Resolving Obstacle to Love Workshops

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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Jaw Release Program since 2007, Authored  Achieving your Goals  31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kid’s Peace Bus Calendar of Values  Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.  Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children

Our worlds, our reality!

hands-600497_960_720In every moment our worlds are colliding.  The world we long for (our dreams), our world that is (our real experience)  and the world that is  shaping up around us (global experience).

The world we long for is our potential based upon all our lives.

Our world that is a culmination of our education, culture and choices we have made in this life.

The world that is shaping up around us is the outcome of our contributions (our actions) to it.

To make any personal changes it requires letting your hopes and dreams become meaningful enough to  to break through your conditioning that of society, which you helped to create.   Understanding this enables you to create more focus and it becomes about how you do it!

  • How do you want to contribute to your future?
  • How do you want to contribute to the future of society in each action you take to full fill your objectives?

For example,  if you want to contribute to enriched life then you will engage in increased actions that are life-giving.  This includes standing up for your values and lifestyles.  If you want freedom, choice and peace, your actions will be peaceful and you will give others free choice through your behavior and relationships.   If you want to live a healthier lifestyle you will support yourself in personal change that will be supportive versus self-destructive.


  • Healthier Lifestyle – transformation

If you are wanting to make a physical body change, relationships change or environmental change, it begins with having a dream.  Once you have the dream then it needs to become reality through actions.   No one will admit that this is easy.  I consider it to be a form of  warrior-ship!  The personal question is what type of warrior do you want to be.

Do you want to effect change from fear and judgement or from peace and confidence?

  1. Are you one of those types that is ridged with fear, goes 100 miles an hour delving into your new system and justifies your new lifestyle choices with everyone you meet?  On this new plan do you judge others on their choices or body type and try to teach them based upon your own fear based beliefs?
  2. Are you one of those types that explores personal change and observes the outcomes without being too rigid and giving yourself empathy with any self-judgments that come up?

Of the two characters types listed above, which one do you think would have a greater success rate for long-lasting  and a broader range of change?

One cannot say creating personal change is easy.  You are changing a culture and creating new patterns.  You  can long for it and even make a statement of commitment, however, if you are not supported effectively, the change you want or need may not be the outcome!

Some of the ways to support change is to follow a system for setting personal goals that are fun and  encompass a life style, not just an attitude!  Other ways are to learn a new system of behavior in how we process information and hold our posture.  Read more on this below in relationships and healthier life.

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  • Relationships  – transforming habitual responses (thoughts as a result of emotions) to focused clarity on what is important in the moment, not the past or future

Some of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s messages in his book Nonviolent Communication are the benefits of being empathetic while holding ones own believes and needs as important as those been heard in others.  It is a fine practice to enjoy autonomy while still being able to listen to others.  This is experience that becomes co-creative and enriching to all involved that creates effective change!

As my practice ages I am discovering that there is not one opinion that matters and that there are no two people who have the same views.  To contribute in our global world experience to effect the outcomes we hope for, the best path to achieve this is go beyond what we think we know into being curious about it. When we are stuck in the experience of thinking we know what is right, and if we think we have all the right solutions, we are acting out from a closed attitude that is life draining.   It’s essence reflects scarcity, survival and loss versus an open attitude reflecting open-mindedness.  An open and curious mind  has an essence of space and time that evokes growth, connection and co-operation to investigate possible outcomes together.

Read more about Communication
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  • Healthier Life (transforming habitual responses in a fuller understanding of how ones body is ones environment of experience; mentally, emotionally and physically)

To effect change in your living experience, movement and functional awareness can support how you experience yourself, your surroundings and others.   Dr. Moshe Feldenkrais developed a  system of somatic Education that increased personal connection to ones functioning.  In this practice one has the opportunity to become more self-aware with a heightened sensibility.

Once again, as my practice ages, I am becoming familiar with how  ones body condition creates their emotional, mental and physical well-being which corresponds in how they think, feel and respond.   I have witnessed how when ones movement patterns become more flexible and less conditioned  it increases ones level of tolerance to life events.

Read more about Movement
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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Jaw Release Program since 2007, Authored  Achieving your Goals  31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kid’s Peace Bus Calendar of Values  Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.  Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

 

 

Have you taken your #yyj Nature Break today?

To cut through resistance with a student, I suggested we transition our session to one of my local favorite hangouts, “Finnerty Gardens,” at the University of Victoria.

Strolling through a combination of forest and tames beds and lawns, I noticed the difference between being restful and at peace in this type of  environment and one that is nervous with a racing mind.  After investigating the landscape for a time we sat on a bench to integrate and continue our session.  Long periods of comfortable silence encouraged  a deeper opening and sharing.  Simple and transitional!

Nature, our healing partners!


Book a private session & learn how to be the best you can be!   

Self-Esteem, Confidence, Trusting Self


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
 Authored  Achieving your Goals  31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kid’s Peace Bus Calendar of Values  Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

 

 

“10 Year Anniversary @InsideAwareness!”

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It is hard to believe it’s been 10 years since I graduated from four intense years of Feldenkrais Training and  began sharing Feldenkrais Awareness through Movement and InTouch Communication Integration Techniques in Greater Victoria!

graduation 106

Creating a Labyrinth from Graduation Walk in 2007 with class mates
Opening the doors at the Fairfield Scout Hall in 2007 for Classes,  Workshops & Talking Circles

METHODS:

  • Feldenkrais® Method of Somatic Movement
  • InTouch Communication & Language Enrichment
  • Integrating Natures Elements 
So Much has Happened since 2007!
Offering Workshops & Classes @ Monterey Recreation Centre since 2007
On the Board of B.C. Network of Compassionate Communication
#yyj Trade Shows Displays for Feldenkrais, InTouch Communication & Local Labyrinths
Organized #yyj Nonviolent Communication Intensive for Trainers :  Robert Gonzales & Susan Skye
Hosted 2 Day #yyj Visit & Events for International Labyrinth Society Members
Organized Donations of Can Goods to Create a Walking Labyrinth at #yyj City Hall on Sept 21st – World Peace Day!
Became a Judge for International Peace Pal Children’s Art Contest
Created and presented an integrative Labyrinth Workshop at #yyj Middle School and shared with #yyj Private Catholic High School
Presented Children’s Culture of Values Program at United Nations Peace Education Committee!
and so much more

I have enjoyed connecting with individuals, couples and groups in Greater Victoria and beyond to support improved health and well being!  I have received support in return and it has deepened the quality of my own offerings.  Along the path of this ten year journey, offerings have evolved to include mindful life and wellness coaching, empathy healing sessions and personal retreats with a focus upon self-esteem and confidence building from the inside out.

I have been enriched by observing hopelessness transform into hope for those giving up on life, their relationships and movement abilities.  I have witnessed individuals increase their ability to move in ways that they thought they couldn’t, or take more chances in their relationships that they had resisted in the past.  I have observed violence turn into tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness!

– – –

I want to say thank you to all my supporters, students and clients! I am curious about checking in after the next 10 years to observe the changes!


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
 Authored  Achieving your Goals  31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kid’s Peace Bus Calendar of Values  Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

Curious about your mask? The one that represents your self-image…

What mask do you wear?

Saddness

Mask of Sadness / Depression

Invisibilty

Mask of Invisibility

Protection

Mask of Protection

false confidence

Mask of False Confidence

mask 8

Layered Masks


Is your mask cracking or are you brave enough to start taking it off and find who is behind it?

The Mask
tragicmask

Always a mask

Held in the slim hand whitely

Always she had a mask before her face —

Read more

Three ways to remove your mask

Three ways to support you in removing your mask is through changing your environment!  Yes your environment.  This means the environment of:

  1.  Your thoughts
  2.  Your habitual muscular tension in your jaw, neck and face
  3.  Your relationships

We perceive information through our five senses; sight, touch, sound, taste and smell.  Three of these senses are in our face , the fourth is in our head and the fifth is closely related to our tongue.  Imagine taking in information through ones mask and how it influences reactions and emotions from one’s thinking based upon old stories of the past!


Book a private session & learn how to be the best you can be!   

Self-Esteem, Confidence, Trusting Self


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

In a blink of an eye your purpose can shift without your awareness of it!

I have a temporary house guest!  Her name is Kooks and I am wondering if changing her name to something calmer would restore calm and peace in my home!  She is my son’s cat who has arrived along with him while he gets enrolled in school and settled into a new job.

Having her has been a learning experience.  She is only a few years old and extremely active.   This is made worse by the fact that there is  a steady flow of deer, raccoons, squirrels, birds and flying things past our windows.  Having a park one house down also guarantees a steady parade of kids, dogs and people on various forms of transportation.  She is an indoor cat who is longing to be an outdoor one.  Oh did I mention the neighbor cat that is the size of a bull-dog!  Kooks is a small cat about the quarter of size of a fully grown cat that acts like she is the same size as the bull-dog cat.  It would not be a good match.

How do you think my focus of attention has shifted?  Well  I can tell you it’s gone from having no concern or care for a cat to a full-time focus.  She is curious and wants to know everything I am doing.  She is bored with her own company, doesn’t like to be alone  and expresses herself constantly.  She positions herself into being the “purpose” or focus of attention (intention) and when she’s not, she ensures you are aware of her, even at night.  She has brought many moments of affection, cuddles, playfulness and beauty as well so it’s hard to be annoyed at her.  However, her distraction to focus includes sleeping!  A night or two is manageable yet after a few nights the deficit affects waking hours and before you know it your drained and not able to support a healthy regime.  You slide.  At least I am noticing it for myself.  My solution is to wake up to what is happening and take my power back!  Yes unfortunately I am noticing how easy it is to lose your power to an animal and I am not referring to having a power animal.

It wasn’t my intention to have an animal after loosing my dog a few years back so I had not considered my agenda by have this one as a guest.  I have enjoyed her, yet in meeting her constant needs, I recognize that it has interfered with meeting my own.  Now it’s time to take steps to balance this out while she visits.

I now know first hand the value of asking oneself these questions:

  • Are you aware of how others and animals can influence where you focus your attention?
  • Did you know that your focus of attention is your ‘purpose” and can be shifted by a thought, feeling or interruption?
  • Are you aware when your focus of attention is hijacked away from your original intention?

If you answered no to the above questions, begin to notice this for yourself.

You may be at work focusing on a program you are developing and a peer walks into your office and doesn’t ask if you have a free moment and simply begins talking about their problem they are dealing with.  What happens to your concentration?

It may be at home while trying to get dinner on and your teen comes in to tell you how you ruined their day without asking you if you have a free moment first beforehand.  What’s your reaction?

The good news is that you too can learn to be aware of these distractions to your focus of attention without getting sucked down into the drain of irritability, frustration and annoyance and having the only option of reaction!

Connect to find out more about how to shift to action of understanding your focus and how to keep it with less reaction.  Consider empathy coaching or training.

Book a private session & learn how to be the best you can be!   

Self-Esteem, Confidence, Trusting Self


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

 

16 Reasons why to  explore Body, Mind & Heart Connection @ Inside Awareness?

INTEGRATION, LEARNING & DEVELOPMENT

  1. Experience a deeper connection to self .
  2. Increase self-value and trust in yourself, knowing you are doing what’s right for you.
  3. Connect to your boundaries and learn how to voice them in a safe  way without conflict!  
  4. Stop compromising.  
  5. Learn how to have  choice.
  6. Improve your posture! Walk, sit, stand, sleep, breathe, think and feel better.
  7. Increase your understanding of your self image and how it is holding your back from success!
  8. Stop feeling alone & lonely?
  9. Turn abusive relationships into empowering experiences!
  10. Stop doubting yourself when it comes to decision making.  
  11. Learn how to transition from taking things personally by developing skills to translate difficult messages.
  12. Move through fear to build relationships and find love.
  13. Understand how to resolve differences.
  14. Improve your odds of finding partnerships where you are  valued.
  15. Ending your relationships with more ease, respect and  moving forward with less attachment!
  16. Becoming aware of the culture created  by your parenting style (or your parents and their’s before them).

Read more about Inside Awareness


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015