Tag Archives: Nonviolent Communication

Understanding how to bridge the divide between interpersonal intelligence and right fighting (and find self esteem in the process)!

pic by Renee Lindstrom

This heart was created spontaneously when I shifted my focus of attention towards my upcoming 2017 communication workshops.  One of my first steps in starting classes in a new year for Think Speak Act and Removing Obstacles to Love (both based on Nonviolent Communication) is to stop and check in to sense inwardly my connection to where I am at and what focus is important to draw the learners attention to. Being  equally dominate kinesthetically and visually, this check in involves sensations (feelings) and images that then go through a process to become a teaching language.  Unlike traditional styles of teaching that have an inflexible structure that restricts the spontaneity a tactile or visual learner needs, the intention of these workshops is to create more balance and understanding between old school doctrine and new age agility training.

Not experiencing education that accommodated my style of learning, finding Dr. Marshal Rosenberg was a huge gift for me to overcome the obstacles of disconnection.  I longed for a bridge to enable me to be who I was on the inside with others in the world I lived in who processed in a mindset of right and wrong.  The difference for me between those with tactile and visual sensibilities and those of a right and wrong thinker is interpersonal intelligence. This is ones ability for effective verbal and nonverbal communication and to note distinctions among others, to have sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives.

Thankfully, I discovered this way of communicating as I had children who have my learning styles!

Typically in the past this heart may have had shades of  grey, however, as this practice deepens it is becoming more expressive and vibrant. I am discovering that to be an effective listener,  and to express with confidence and self-esteem that leads to honesty, it is best if one has a deep love for oneself .  Marshall has given me the practice tools to discover how all our differences are gifts to a relationship.  I hope you will join one of my upcoming classes to discover this within yourself!

New babies are borne to be loved in a way that is reflected back by their parents.  One expression of this is when they look into their parents eyes they see mirrored back to them the unconditional love they express in their own eyes when looking at their parents.  However, as we are fitting our life puzzle pieces together, life jostles us around and unconditional love may not be the expressions we see reflected back.  If one has not experienced it, they cannot mirror it.  This form of communication can support you to explore and experience this within yourself.  It will empower you to begin to mirror this back to others in a safe way that is appropriate for the circumstances.  If you have a child you may be more open and vulnerable that with a shop keeper!  If you have a lover you may be more intimate than with your boss or fellow employee.  It is a wonderful skill to begin to have more clarity in all your relationships.  It begins with checking in first to connect to your intention followed by skill development.

Read more on upcoming Communication Workshops

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

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The Mask


The Mask



Always a mask

Held in the slim hand whitely

Always she had a mask before her face —


Truly the wrist

Holding it lightly

Fitted the task:

Sometimes however

Was there a shiver,

fingertip quiver,

Ever so slightly —

Holding the mask?


For years and years and years I wondered

But dared not ask

And then —

I blundered,

Looked behind the mask,

To find

Nothing —

She had no face.


She had become

Merely a hand

Holding a mask

With grace.

Author unknown

Curious about Your Mask?

Communication Workshops 
Movement Workshops


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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

“Resolutions imply resolving conflict!” Did you start your year focusing on your inner conflicts?

The Beauty Path WayDid you begin your new year drawing attention to your inner conflict and what you hate about yourself?  If you did, what do you think your chances of success are when your focus is on what’s wrong with you versus what’s right with you?  

Ever consider that you can put your failed resolutions down to the validation that you give yourself when you keep reconfirming in your mind what’s wrong with you.  Is your inner-voice telling you that you are a looser?

If you began to shift your focus slightly perhaps you will shift hopelessness into hope and inspiration.  Beginning with:

  • Asking yourself, “What is my motivation?”  
  • and “Do I want  to build my confidence or self-sabotage?”

Embrace your power and find your joy’

Explore how to create a conscious and doable life-scape that is empowering and start enjoying the journey!  Westcoast Pathway

  • Heart Mind Connection
  • Body Movement
  • Mindful Relationships
  • Stimulating your soul through your environment

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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015



May Newsletter

May Newsletter

Articles on success of April’s Campaign, Upcoming events & Classes and New – Weekly relationship tips with our love partners in mind!

Wednesday’s April NVC Awareness Victoria doesn’t disappoint

Once again Victoria responds with interest by attending The Church of Truths Oneness Wednesdays offering of topics with a  Nonviolent Communication perspective.  Yesterday evening the topic was ‘Resolving Conflicts and presented by Michele Favarger.

Michele offered a deeper connection to the four basic steps of Nonviolent Communication; observations, feelings, needs and requests and their relationships to the first part of any dialogue – self connection.  She stressed the importance of choosing to connect to ones own personal need replacing habits of seeing others in what Marshall Rosenberg calls, ‘enemy images.’  The reference is to how we hear hard to messages being about us rather than hearing what the other persons is needing.

Michele guided last nights group through  this process with ease and humor, including personal stories on how this style of communication has supported her own changing consciousness and outcomes during her own experiences of conflict.

Judi Morin who opened April’s series introducing NVC  joined us again last night and found herself involved in a spontaneous role play with Michele resulting from an audience question that was a highlight of the evening.

Questions of where to go from here came from the audience  with request expressions of personal preferences for their own personal safety in learning.  If this interests you as well, more connection  contact information is listed below.  As a grassroots organizer for the Gandhi, King Seasons for Peace and Nonviolence and this month-long Nonviolent Communication Awareness Campaign  event together as an example of creating peace in your world, I want to acknowledge that there is a number of Victoria people offering a variety of opportunities to experience Nonviolent Communication throughout the Greater Victoria Communities that were unable to participate.  Teachings and practice groups are happening in Sidney, at two of our local Unity Churches, one in West Saanich and one in Victoria,  at a local Jewish Community Centre, at the Crystal Pool, in James Bay at New Horizons, and others in private offices such as Inside Awareness for Healthy Living and some homes to meet the needs of sharing, learning and connection.  Others are taking this into their schools and I know of some in government and professional organizations that  have intensified their NVC training to make change from within their society.  We have one local who presented an NVC theme at the United Nations in 2011!  (Marion Little shared her UN experience with us at  the showing of Heart to Lead, Women as Allies for the Greater Good)

NVC inspires people to change their world and those who connect to it long to share through teaching and practice and want others to interact with in this particular way.  Marshall Rosenberg has designed this system to go beyond right and wrong thinking and encourages it’s integration to spread outwards therefore you will find a vibrant grassroots community locally for in person meetings and on-line globally.

Last year I heard someone personally frustrated with Nonviolent Communication express  this in their own style of communication group classes that resulted in a closed statement  that ‘it didn’t work.’  I was shocked,  surprised and somewhat curious about this statement and yet knew that since beginning to practice in 2000/2001 that it can be a challenging process to integrate into everyday living.  I believe it was our own local Selinde Krayenhoff, co-founder of Island Parent Magazine in 2001/2002 who began sharing Nonviolent Communication for Parents who stated, ‘this is a lifestyle choice and a practice.’  It’s true, it is and one that I believe is more than talking about it and involves a commitment and willingness to make personal changes that results in clarity of our owning thinking process.  It can be an amazing journey into self discovery  that can lead to success in our relationships.  Yes in the learning and beginning a practice of doing NVC we may drive others a bit crazy, yet getting beyond the doing into being, they are just as rewarded as we are! Therefore folks, if you are looking for a way to improve how you do relationships whether with your boss, your employees, your parents, children or beloved this is a form of connecting that is being in relationships that improves the quality of experiencing our connectedness that leads to inner content.

Appreciation to all of you for your support, interest and attendance in coming to meet and hear more about these topics.  As promised for more can be found at:

These sites are not local, yet you may be able to get access to upcoming local events

To find out more about the getting involved locally with the Season for Peace and Nonviolence or for local activities, ideas and suggestions or the Heart to Lead, Women as Allies for the Greater Good
If you are looking for support to put on your own event from providing a complete service to a presenter, contact me for more information at renee@insideawareness.com

‘Power Over, Power Under and Power With’

A conceptual framework of Dr. Rosenberg’s, Nonviolent Communication is based upon understanding what he describes as ‘Partnership and Domination Paradigms.‘  Ideally with knowledge and practice of  nonviolent communication participants will move towards integrating the values of Partnership paradigms into their relationships.

Domination is life alienating  is dualistic thinking with power over, power under relationships.  It is hierarchical  head-based thinking and depends upon win/lose or lose/lose experiences.

Partnership is life enhancing and creates holistic relationships of power with.  Is is hierarchical based on function, heart-based on compassion and depends upon a win/win experience.

In Victoria for April’s Awareness Campaign for Nonviolent Communication the topic for tomorrow’s Church of Truth’s Oneness Wednesday will be , ‘Beyond right and wrongdoing.’ Presented by Laurel Collins.  Come and explore these concepts with us live and receive the support from a group and live practice opportunities.  It begins at 7:00 p.m. at 111 Superior Street.

Through the difficulty of expressing to each other, there is always a celebration when you work towards learning how to connect

Feedback after a recent class designed for learning techniques to create empathic and loving  connections with our beloved  focused on developing trust, respect, mutuality and commitment:

We all agreed that your tools were timely, useful, and brought new hope of breaking new ground. I agree with your gentle advice that we not go too deep too quickly and that we recognize that naming feelings and needs is a basic skill we need to practice. We’ve all been stopping, checking in, and feeding back without as much emotion as before. So, that alone is worth the price of admission!

I commend you for your availability on such a short notice plea for help, and your professionalism, insight and patience with us all. I think this will be life changing for us at work and in our families and personal relationships.

Hearing this feedback is a celebration for all of us!

Don’t hesitate to connect if you long  to turn your and your beloved connection from hopelessness into hopefulness!

Learning Empathy and Communication Skills based upon Nonviolent Communication