Tag Archives: leadership

Are you a leader, follower or both?

BalanceSometimes we are leaders and sometimes we are followers in relationships! If we are in balance, we are always in motion and flowing in and out of planning and action.  To describe this balance in the popular terms of yin and yang lets first look at their attitudes:  We could also describe these two dominate behavioral types as round (yin) and sharp edges (yang).

Yin & Yang attitudes


  • Balanced Yin     

         Listener, Patient, Planner, Quiet, reflective, empathetic, collaborative,         willing to follow, glow from the inside

  • Balanced Yang         

Speaker, Spontaneous, Quick, Energized, Strategist, Outgoing, strong ideals, willing leader shine from the outside

  • Unbalanced Yin

           Depressed, Withdrawn, Internalize, Hurt, Sad,
Death Wish

  • Unbalanced Yang

Aggressive, Loud, Angry, Anxious, Externalize, Vengeful, Closed, Compartmentalize, Rigid, Take ones life,

Not a complete list ~ add your own descriptions.….
Read more:  

9 common reasons not to invest in yourself

Take time to read some of the outcomes of others who have had these same excuses underneath.

1. I’m not interested.

Are you, your partner and peers empowered by your connection and satisfied with your relationships? Are your interactions successfully executed and in the energy of gratification?

2. Everything is going fine, thanks.

Are you settled into a groove of accepting what life throws at you and not interested in connecting to how to enrich your life and bring aliveness to yours and others experiences?

3. I’m too busy now.

Are you too overwhelmed and coping just to get by?

4. I’ve heard this before, how do I know you can perform?

This is about how you perform and finding new ways for increasing your success rate!

5. Who are you and what do you do?

I am an objective third-party that can translate the behaviors that are keeping you, your partner, peers and family from hearing each other and find mutual agreements for moving forward towards success!

6. What can you possibly teach me?

Your blind spots that are your weaknesses.

7. I’ve worked with a consultant before and it didn’t work.

That is no reason to give up and not find a person more suited to your unique needs.

8. I can’t afford your services

If this is the case, you can not afford not to have someone to support your increased success rate with employee and client relationships.

9. That all sounds great, but I have no money

Best time to invest in yourself. You are your own resource!

Some case studies:

These cases  focus upon doubt that they can’t afford coaching or are resistant to change:

1.  Husband is diagnosed with critical condition and wife is not able to cope with the fear of loosing him.  Why?  She believes she has not had any responsibility in their marriage and fears she cannot take care of herself.  Rather than enjoying the remaining time together and increase his healing potential, the focus is on her as she collapses.  Even to the point that she cannot drive and he is responsible for getting her to her appointments and his own.  He visibly should not be behind the wheel.  He passes away after a year of disruption, confusion, anxiety without any recognition and lack of loving connection.  She discovers that her live continues.

2.  Husband is unable to share feeling about children and time they take from his relationship with his wife.  He goes into resentment with his partner and dislikes his children and eventually he looses his business and family in despair.  Children grow up believing father does not love them and they are lacking in some way.

How could they not afford coaching – the cost was higher than they expected!

A few cases receiving somatic coaching with Renee Lindstrom:

3.  Wife and husband are married for over 20 years and are unable to resolve their differences in a way that each partner feels mutually heard and that they matter.  They have a business together that they both work in.  Coaching began after one partner has left the marriage home and one partner became suicidal.  With coaching both partners are able to move forward separately while supporting one another through the transition and reaching a mutual settlement that included value for each of them.

2.  A client’s health history created a search for solutions from many sources that didn’t show any signs of supporting an increase in mobility and wellness.  After only a few sessions this person experienced increased mobility that translated into a renewed joy in living.  A bleak future of deterioration became one of optimism.

3.  Clients that when young business people did not seek support to change their ability to be in relationships.  As elders now they experience life without a community.  They didn’t have families and didn’t take time to develop their social network.  As their abilities decrease and they can no longer distract themselves with the usual activities,  they find themselves in a state of despair.  They are  faced with the pain they ran away from as children and alone.  They long to be taken care of and supported in their increasingly ill-health.  There is no one who is that interested in them.  Their doctors get tired of seeing them for every little ailment real and imaginary and begin searching frantically to find support.   Sessions consist of reducing their anxiety levels so that they can relax and reduce their stress.  At a time of enjoying their later years they are dealing with depression and longing to die.  Honest conversation, accountability discussions and empathy coaching turns hopelessness into hopefulness.

BUSINESS LEADERSHIP ON “RELATIONSHIPS FOR SUCCEEDING”

TIP OF THE WEEK:

Last week and tip #1 was about learning to read others:  

  • Practice of observing the posture in others and their tone of voice as they speak.  Consider the state of their emotions and the story they are telling themselves.
This weeks tip :
  • Now notice how the body and spoken language of others affect you.  Begin to explore how they  influence your thoughts in either a negative or positive way.  Notice if your reaction is to stay open with understanding or do you close off and dismiss their contribution?  What is your body language?  
This week notice your body language, comfort level  and thoughts that arise with your employees, peers and clients. Ask yourself, “How am I being influenced by ………..?
  • Observe your tone of voice, body stance (soft and comfortable or rigid and controlled) 

All skilled, influence-empowered people harness their own behavior first.

Step three ~ coming next week

Find out how business programs can support you and your business:  

  • EMAIL – renee(at)insideawareness(dot)com
  • FOLLOW  on Twitter @InsideAwareness 

Understand your needs, follow posts of calendar of values 

Business leadership: How valuable are you to others?

How much do  you contribute?
and
How valuable are you to others?
Sometimes we take actions in our work environment that we have not stopped to consider.  For example, doing  just what needs to be done to get by, putting in time waiting for the next break or maybe going the extra mile to achieve success. A choice is always  being made and totally obvious to those around you.
TWO TYPES OF ACTIONS
  • Core Actions have a greater, long term impact with great outcome of success described as doing what it takes to achieve a better outcome.
  • Surface Actions keep you busy with limited success sometimes described as going through the motions and hiding behind activities.

 getting InTouch techniques can influence employers and employees by shifting surface actions into core actions for stellar results.  This includes learning how surface actions create conflicts….It begins with personal commitments for change. Yes that is you!

If you are interested in 13 Success Steps to find respect and be valued at work read more……..

Intimacy in relationships

Intimacy in relationships begins with an experience!   Intimacy begins with tenderness in our skill of  listening and ability for reflecting back.  It is our willingness to hear and not to only be heard.

  • How many of us want to be held and touched tenderly by our lovers?  
  • Why would our conversations be any different?  
  • Can you remember  a time when the tender kindness that went into your intimate touch was matched in your conversation with your lover?  When that tenderness is not in the conversation do you imagine them as your lover in that moment?
  • When was a time that you both shared anything with each  tenderly and felt accepted exactly as you are?

I believe it is more important to create an experience of intimate connection in conversation first before mastering the correctness of how to speak to each other.  Ever coach a couple only to hear one partner tell the other how it’s done?  Intimacy maker? No!    If you forget how it should be done and have the experience of intimate connection you are more apt to take chances, be creative  and develop your courage to tell each other what really matters.   This is when I experience couples commit to keep trying to hear what is meaningful in what the other person is trying to share.  If  you have to learn how to do it and get it right first, before the connection, it tells me that you are feeling frightened and need the safety of being right and getting your way at the expense of your partner.

Therefore with couples the primary focus is to walk them through a dialogue  dance that isn’t focused on how to do it.  It is focused on doing it and accepting whatever arises so that it is  easy for them to feel heard and understood.  This is when they feel safe to share important issues.  

Each partner is being coached to make the dialogue about themselves  to translate each story they bring up into being about themselves and never staying in the habit of  making it about the other person.  Talk is slowed down so that each partner can reflect and that the dialogue is never one-sided.  It means pausing to connect to what is being said before bringing up other issues so that both have a say.

It definitely isn’t for the faint hearted.  It is for couples wanting to work on their intimacy, vulnerability and grow their relationships to bring warm loving kindness and spiciness back into the experience.

This week I had an opportunity to stand beside and guide couples into their vulnerability to the point the veil of self protection  fell away.  From this place of deep meaning it is one of the most tender sweet spots to find oneself in.  By standers included!  You are where it really matters.   When couples commit to continue coming back to try and express in a way they both can be heard,  isolated behavior and fear looses its power, humor develops and it becomes easier.    This is when it becomes about the relationship and not about winning.  

Value-Based Workplace Culture

A Value-Based Workplace Culture enhances:

  • leadership skills.
  • personal ownership
  • taking  responsibility for the job

It provides:

  • clarity and understanding of why there a need for structure
  • improves communication
  • reduces gossip
  • increases productivity.

I.  Step – Start with a *consulting session to explore:  

  1. Value wording in your workplace mission/vision statement to  deepen the connection and willingness to contribute to the success of your operation
  2. The best way to introduce a model of communication for creating an  environment of respect, accountability, acceptance and motivation.

*Consulting – in person or by chat on-line

II.  Step Learn how:

  1. To make agreements based upon values.  

Benefits:  increase motivation and willingness to contribute replacing decreasing moral and office tension

III.  Step #3Provide learning opportunities to your employees:

                    1. Teach your employees the culture you want to work in.
                    2.  Integrate a value-based literacy program to support skill
                         development.
Benefit:  Turn disconnection into connections (even with hard to hear messages!), improving work and reducing office politics.
.
NEXT STEP – CONNECT! 
FIND OUT MORE:  Email, Call (250) 361-7508 or follow on-line

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_______________________________________________________________________
Renee Lindstrom
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000

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Giving

A value-based empathetic language of compassion is one this is focused upon giving and grounded in mutually receiving back.  Giving is a spontaneous and natural response in communicating when a language structure is used that allows us to connect with ourselves and with others.