Tag Archives: getting InTouch

Do you Embody Scarcity or Abundance?

“For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.”  Author unknown

For more on scarcity and for abundance

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Imagine a child’s world

That includes redirection and reassurance while being recognized versus, (you fill in the blanks)

  • You are,
  • Your doing,
  • You must,
  • Do!,
  • Go!,
  • Say your sorry!,

For example, Identify and acknowledge what is going on for them.  It takes as much time as it does to get angry and use force to get your own need met.  Hearing them takes less energy for all of you.  It does not mean you have to let them do what it is they are doing.  In fact you are teaching them to understand the feelings they are having.  They cannot teach this to themselves.   Such as,

“When you get angry about coming with us  I bet you are wanting to stay home and play and not come to another event with your brother and I.  Is that what’s going on for you?”

Now imagine the way you would habitually handle this type of situation.  You may not even be aware that they are meeting their own needs by their behavior and you may perceive this as resistance and label them as being __________.  Their resistance is a strategy for them to meet their needs in the only way they know how, which you may be taking personally and making it about them not listening to you.  If so, consider how your reaction impacts them.  How would your child process your reaction in a way that they stayed connected to their own value?  What might they be feeling and who would they go to for comfort?

Now consider the reasons you may have reacted that way?  Could it be the way you learned to behave based upon your experience or that you haven’t had any training on how to deal with multiple needs in the multiple relationships of your unique family?

Who do you go to to discuss your experiences of their reactions, their father perhaps?  Who do they go to to discuss your reactions?  Your behavior in their eyes may be exactly what they consider their behavior to be –  reactive.  How can their behavior be wrong and yours right?

For more info on Upcoming Parenting Workshops with Renee Lindstrom

‘Unity is beyond…..

‘Unity is a space of unison  beyond  comparing into being with another’s experience at the level of humanity each of you values’    Renee Lindstrom

Understanding Ego mind through getting in touch with your own thinking and speaking

Our last workshop in a series of six and the individual workshops have  evolved into a deeper focus of  practice and understanding empathy.  The areas that came up for exploring included self-empathy, empathy in relationships and group empathy.  The purpose was to support group members to recognize their own  stories inside their mind that did not allow them to be present with what was actually happening in their relationship.  How we have done this it by developing skills for learning to recognize and identify their thoughts and behavior as a result of their thinking.

The last exercise involved having a volunteer demonstrate a process while sharing a personal life event and transforming what they had been telling themselves about it into a connection that included the rest of body functions,  outside of the frontal lobe of their brain!

At the beginning of the practice this participant shared their resistance at  connecting to another person in their life.  In the process ego dropped away as the mind stories became silent and what was real began to emerge.  As the stories of their mind became less interesting , what was real was their new self-connection to what was being experienced in the moment.  When the participant connected to what was real in them they expressed how they had a growing awareness of  what was going on for the other person that went beyond their original resistance.

You couldn’t ask for more!  The beauty that was visible in the participant and those in the group supporting this persons process was tangible through relaxed faces and the feelings of a group connection.    Through the practice other  participants began to recognizing their own stories and habits in experiencing how  they supported the process.  Did they become present to what they were hearing or did it stimulate their own stories or need to fix it by coming up with solutions.  If so, all these participants witnessed how this breaks the emphatic connection and experienced the effects of  disconnection of it becoming about them and their ego mind and no longer the person going through the exercise.

Beautiful! The participants having a practice of learning a language of connection demonstrated the ability to go beyond the disruption and carry the process back to the original speaker while holding empathy for the interrupter’s!

This brings up the question – Is empathy the absence (quieting) of ego?

For more information on these workshops with Renee Lindstrom go to relationships link

Is your learning style the same as your partners? your children? your bosses? Or are you aware that each of us has a different learning style?

Will you be surprised to read the learning styles follow our senses and abilities for reasoning and making sound?  Did you know that we will have one primary characteristic combined with varying percentages of  the others?  Each of us different.

How then do we communicate to connect if we our base learning style is feeling/touch and our partner is logic?  We would like to talk about our feelings and our partner would like to analyse them!  Connection?, possibly not!

  • Sight
  • Sound
  • Hearing
  • Feeling/Touch
  • Logic

I wonder then about taste!   Is it time  to begin considering this as a learning style?  It is an unconscious form of teaching in our culture today yet not recognized.

Add to this our own balance of social  and solitary preferences into our relationships with our partners, children and at work.  If you are doing a group project and not feeling comfortable in your group do you experience growing feelings that you don’t belong?  Could understanding that you prefer to work alone change your behavior and those around you?  What if you like to socialize and your partner doesn’t?  At the beginning of the relationship you may meet their needs for being alone thinking it is romantic and not simply a preference to meet their needs, not yours.  Without recognizing this, it could be the pattern in your future  together!  How long before you would become resentful?    I imagine it starts even before the heat of the romance come down a few temperatures!

Learning styles was included in this weeks (Oct 17) Parenting with Compassion workshop series and will be included in Introducing Language of Empathy, Think, Speak, Act Series starting October 20th.

Still time to register for both ~ @ James Bay Community Center – 250 – 389 – 1470

Self-acceptance

Mask 7

Self – Acceptance

First, come into the present. Flash on what’s happening with you right now. Be fully aware of your body, its energetic quality. Be aware of your thoughts and emotions.

Next, feel your heart, literally placing your hand on your chest if you find that helpful. This is a way of accepting yourself just as you are in that moment, a way of saying, “This is my experience right now, and it’s okay.”

Pema Choldren

Curious about your mask?

more quotes posted on Inside Awareness Blog


Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015

Exercise for developing empathy resulting from bullying

This exercised was emailed to me from Carla Munro ~ a fellow contributor to sharing value-based empathy conscious communication methods.  It will be useful to the teacher in all of us.