I have a temporary house guest! Her name is Kooks and I am wondering if changing her name to something calmer would restore calm and peace in my home! She is my son’s cat who has arrived along with him while he gets enrolled in school and settled into a new job.
Having her has been a learning experience. She is only a few years old and extremely active. This is made worse by the fact that there is a steady flow of deer, raccoons, squirrels, birds and flying things past our windows. Having a park one house down also guarantees a steady parade of kids, dogs and people on various forms of transportation. She is an indoor cat who is longing to be an outdoor one. Oh did I mention the neighbor cat that is the size of a bull-dog! Kooks is a small cat about the quarter of size of a fully grown cat that acts like she is the same size as the bull-dog cat. It would not be a good match.
How do you think my focus of attention has shifted? Well I can tell you it’s gone from having no concern or care for a cat to a full-time focus. She is curious and wants to know everything I am doing. She is bored with her own company, doesn’t like to be alone and expresses herself constantly. She positions herself into being the “purpose” or focus of attention (intention) and when she’s not, she ensures you are aware of her, even at night. She has brought many moments of affection, cuddles, playfulness and beauty as well so it’s hard to be annoyed at her. However, her distraction to focus includes sleeping! A night or two is manageable yet after a few nights the deficit affects waking hours and before you know it your drained and not able to support a healthy regime. You slide. At least I am noticing it for myself. My solution is to wake up to what is happening and take my power back! Yes unfortunately I am noticing how easy it is to lose your power to an animal and I am not referring to having a power animal.
It wasn’t my intention to have an animal after loosing my dog a few years back so I had not considered my agenda by have this one as a guest. I have enjoyed her, yet in meeting her constant needs, I recognize that it has interfered with meeting my own. Now it’s time to take steps to balance this out while she visits.
I now know first hand the value of asking oneself these questions:
- Are you aware of how others and animals can influence where you focus your attention?
- Did you know that your focus of attention is your ‘purpose” and can be shifted by a thought, feeling or interruption?
- Are you aware when your focus of attention is hijacked away from your original intention?
If you answered no to the above questions, begin to notice this for yourself.
You may be at work focusing on a program you are developing and a peer walks into your office and doesn’t ask if you have a free moment and simply begins talking about their problem they are dealing with. What happens to your concentration?
It may be at home while trying to get dinner on and your teen comes in to tell you how you ruined their day without asking you if you have a free moment first beforehand. What’s your reaction?
The good news is that you too can learn to be aware of these distractions to your focus of attention without getting sucked down into the drain of irritability, frustration and annoyance and having the only option of reaction!
Connect to find out more about how to shift to action of understanding your focus and how to keep it with less reaction. Consider empathy coaching or training.
Self-Esteem, Confidence, Trusting Self
Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015