As my practice matures, there seems to be more ease for clients & students to open to their sexual shame and deep-rooted beliefs that have been implanted by themselves and others that no longer serve them.
In movement I experience sexual shame, or issues, expressed through the automatic blocking of specific patterns of movement. In other words, one’s brain has been trained to block certain movements. As the Feldenkrais Method is gentle and conscious, (not strategy focused or orientated around dogma), logic is available for someone to begin noticing the connection to the trained habit of stopping a movement. When one notices a blocked pattern of movement and experiences that they are able to move easily through it, they can increase their ability to move in a certain way! This is the point in ones Feldenkrais journey that I generally find honest and value-based communication makes a huge contribution. If there is an urge to talk, the dialogue is limited to what the feelings and needs are now in the moment. If there is no talking, or story telling, the experience can move into feelings of acceptance and forgiveness.
With no stories hijacking the present moment experience into the past, there is increased inner safety achieved. In that second of observing whatever it was blocking the mind, something new replaces it. Some of the feedback over days and weeks are amazing! The movement and language for me is the deepest empathy experience on the planet.
I have witnessed movement difficulties for women have not only been difficult sexual experiences with others but that they have themselves compromised their sexual integrity by submitting to sex when they didn’t want to but felt they had to.
In men I have witnessed judgement, self comparisons and low self-esteem. As women, we have an urge to share our history with our partners which includes our sexual prowess, however, it diminishes their sense of being good enough!
In love and empathy singles/couple coaching, mentoring and classes I am pleasantly surprised at the level of sexual honesty that is emerging. It is powerful and liberating to talk about sex as a need. As important as water and air! My joy is to introduce it using Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. I notice a difference in the participants as in the introduction of basic levels of survival sex and the higher attainment levels. When one is meeting greater needs, there is more conscious awareness and heightened sexual life achievement! It introduces conscious options and choices.
- Basic Sex – Disconnected to self and others (less ethics & integrity)
- Heighten Achievement – Connected to self and partner (increased integrity & ethics)
In personal living spaces the focus of the occupants is telling through what is expressed in their surroundings. If there balance between couples (and children) as well as their interests, sexual gratification will also be a struggle of balance between the two.
In all three approaches there is a focus on creating a power with relationship through inner reflection of outward actions..
- Movement Action – brain, body, emotional & mindful awareness
- Mindful Action – awareness of thoughts, emotions & responses
- Environment – stimulus for generating responses & reactions
So your single and it’s Valentines, the 2nd highest day of the year on record for the most wedding proposals.
Start with flowers. Do you know about the secret language of flowers? In Victorian times flowers were famously used to set the tone in novels and set up qualities in gardens and homes. Did you know the symbology of Arbutus is “you’re the only one I love?” See more on![Happy_Couple[1]](https://insideawareness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/f0f19-happy_couple1.gif?w=500)
Empowered relationships begin with one’s personal deepened connection to their own personal values. Knowing our values and trusting them to guide us gives us the strength and willpower to be true to ourselves! This foundation is key for an interdependent relationship that is life enriching for both our partners and ourselves!
Integrating a language of love using a model designed for ‘natural listening!’ Practice speaking skills that will increase your opportunities for experiencing loving kindness between you and your loved one. Meet your needs to be seen, heard and valued while meeting the same needs for your partners. These gathering will focus upon developing one’s own abilities for deeper listening and pausing before speaking (reducing habitual reactions that cause misunderstandings).
Inside Awareness Center for Integrative Somatic Learning 