Tag Archives: Relationships

“Relationships are not the cars, houses and house keeping”

Imagine facial expressions of anticipation and a long  moment of silence following this comment at our couples gathering.  The reason we had gathered was  to learn more on how to deepen our affectionate and intimate relationships.  I suggested that  these things represent our personal and joint material (physical) wants and needs.

So what is a *relationship?  This is going to be our exploration  over the next six weeks.  Everyone left curious and willing to do their home work for our next Friday night together.

 Can you sit down with your partner and discuss what is meaningful and important to you in your relationship without making it about them?

  • Example of what not to say if you want intimate connection:  I want you to be more……., I want you to do………

Can you then hear them share back what is meaningful and important to them in your relationship together without making it about you?  

  • Example of what not to say if you want more affection:  You want me to be more……..,  You say I am being………….

Can you both sit with these points, even the differences, and hold them equally as important?

  • Example of what not to say if you want to experience the same bedroom intimacy into real life time or keep experiencing bedroom intimacy!   Trust me if it is not in real life time that will be lost over time too!  What you want is more important than what I want……….., What I want is greater than what you want……

If this is a new concept and your curious, connect.  Ask about this gathering opportunity, upcoming possibilities or  private coaching.

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Wikipedia Definition of Intimate Relationships:

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An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate attachment or sexual activity. The term intimate relationship is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship.

Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience.  Humans have a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship.  Intimate relationships involve physical and sexual attraction between people, liking and loving, romantic feelings, and sexual relationships, as well as the seeking of one or more mates and emotional and personal support for the members.  Intimate relationships provide a social network for people that provide strong emotional attachments, and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for.

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by:  Renee Lindstrom – getting InTouch – Relationship Wellness Series

Valentine’s Day Has Been Cancelled – This Is Not a Test!

Poem by Aya de Leon


I think it was your eyes
they caught mine
as I was thinking about how full lips kiss so sweet
this is the type of man I been trying to meet
& later that night when you

we interrupt this love poem
to bring you an important announcement
valentine’s day has been cancelled
this is not a test
Love is in a state of emergency
people are desperate for real love, not
I’m lost without you
nothing can come between us
hit me baby one more time
I’ll never breathe again
predatory ego manufactured love

we repeat
valentine’s day has been cancelled
this is not a test
despite incredible losses in revenue
cards, chocolates, champagne, teddy bears, jewelry
& other random objects that people buy each other
to prop up sagging & dysfunctional relationships
will not be for sale this year
you know who you are
& it’s time to let what was never alive die.

valentine’s day has been cancelled
this is not a test.
do not try to adjust your TV set or radio
in fact, turn that static off.
For the next 24 hours, there will be
no love songs
no heat you up songs
no slow jams
no late nite request & dedication call-in shows
no romantic TV programs or movies

just 24 hours of silence for you to contemplate
what is real love?
without ABC, CBS, WB, Fox, Tristar, KBLX, KMEL, KISS,
Harlequin romances, playboy, penthouse, hustler, players
and other media outlets to tell you
what you want
how you want it
what position you want it in
how tall, thick, soft, hard, stacked, hung, and/or wet
you want it to be.

valentine’s day has been cancelled
this is not a test
your boyfriend’s number will be busy
your girlfriend will not be waiting by the phone
your wife and/or husband has made other plans
all singles bars, strip clubs, tele-personals lines,
romantic getaway destinations, hot tub places, and make out spots
have been shut down for the duration
All dating and adult entertainment websites have crashed
until further notice
there will be no looking for love in all the wrong places
because all the wrong places are closed tonight

citizens are encouraged to stay indoors and remember
to love their friends
and if you don’t have loveable friends, make some
to love your family
and if your family is too screwed up
find some loving folks to be your new family
to love God
and if God has failed you,
find a new God
or a new conception of God
But most of all, love yourselves
and if,
sitting at home in the silence,
you notice that you don’t love yourself,
then fasten your seat belt and get ready to work on that
cause what you need is not gonna be found
in a box of candy / dozen roses / tall dark handsome / 36-24-36

when February 14th rolls around and
you wish somebody was loving you
or wish you were somebody else
or you wish the person loving you was somebody else

Yes, for your own good
valentine’s day has been cancelled
this is not a test
and now we return you to the poem already in progress

& when we stepped into the bedroom,
I could feel drums pounding in my womb
& as we stripped
you made me feel like my soul was chocolate dipped
then you opened your mouth and tasted me
oh yes baby, set me free
so I’m offering up this heart of mine
lover, won’t you be my–
this is not a test.

Giving

A value-based empathetic language of compassion is one this is focused upon giving and grounded in mutually receiving back.  Giving is a spontaneous and natural response in communicating when a language structure is used that allows us to connect with ourselves and with others.

VIRTUAL – LONGING TO BE A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF IN RELATIONSHIPS

Sundays, January 13 – March 17,  2013 ~ 10:30 am to noon

Join Renee for a 10 Week Virtual Series designed as a  personal challenge for exploring how to become a better version of yourself in relationships.  Move beyond the pain and loneliness of disconnection.  Enjoy extraordinary connections and learn skills to stop experiencing guilt, resentment, obligation or trying to prove yourself.

COURSE OUTLINE:

Part one ~ Getting Started:
  • Welcome and Introductions
  • Relationships  – Types of Connecting
  • Types of Perception (Past, Present, Future)
  • Feelings and Emotional  Literacy
  • Taking responsibility for feelings
  • Culture of Needs

Part two

  • Enriching life and your relationships
  • Expressing honestly
  • Listening with Empathy
  • Self – Empathy
  • Empathy for Others

Part three

  • Empathy, Relationships and Behaviour
  • Staying connected in Conflict
  • Putting it together
  • Moving forward
  • Appreciation & Celebration
Includes course outline and reminders emailed in advance of course dates, practice suggestions for  in between classes and an on-line forum for discussion among participants and putting in questions for upcoming week.

10 Week Series – $200.00

REGISTRATION HERE 

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http://www.insideawareness.com

The Buddha on ‘Oberservation’

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not
belie ve in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”  
                                                                                                                       Buddha

Black & White, Right & Wrong

Are you someone who is experiencing your world experiences in black or white, right or wrong?

Click Pic for more info on poster

Is so, are you curious and willing to explore and self – inquire based on the following pattern of self-questioning?

  • Are you aware that there is another experience available to you that isn’t  as clearly defined as you perceive it?
Take a moment and imagine how you would describe your body posture and the strength you are using to stand or sit up right.

Ask yourself what type of tree would you use to describe this experience?

If you could choose one of these trees which one would it be:

  • Pine
  • Cedar
  • Oak
Now imagine being a Willow Tree.

Can you transition into this experience with ease?  How does it feel in your body posture?  Does anything change, become softer or more flexible?

If you can easily imagine being a Willow Tree, now consider being Bamboo.

How does this concept come into you and through your experience?  Does it stop and become blocked at the thought of considering this vision or does it carry through to a deeper relaxation into your posture?

For those of you who enjoy experiencing through our physical senses try this exploration out.  Remember to have a curious mind.
  1. Now with a friend, peer or family member stand tall and strong with your feet firmly planted on the floor.   Hold  with resistance.  Have your helper push on you shoulder and feel the resistance and your strength push back.
  2. Let this go and become loose, soft and flexible with your feet still planted firmly on the floor and now in this expression have your helper push on your shoulder.  Feel the lack of resistance, resilience and how you still are able to hold your posture.
  3. Take a moment and reflect on how these two separate experiences through your physical strength, both are strong stances, and give yourself a moment to give feedback on how these two experiences where for you.  Which one is the one that you sense a higher quality of where you would like to be now?  Which one is your habitual reactive self? Which one would you be able to take an easy breath in or do you remember if you held your breathe or not?

Remember we only do what we know until a new experience and more information is available.  In each experience we are meeting our own needs.  It’s how we meet our needs that we could develop deeper awareness about to better fit who we long to be.  Are we meeting our needs through physical, dominate strength or are we meeting our needs through physical flexible strength?

Remember, whatever our bodies are doing, our thoughts will reflect this in our thinking and acting?  Information is perceived through our bodies and our mind translates it, therefore we act.  If our bodies are rigid, our thoughts will be black and white, right and wrong.

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP, November 8, 2012                                             Follow Renee on Facebook  & on Twitter

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http://www.insideawareness.com

 

Embodiment of Scarcity ~ Awareness in Thinking

Definition of Scarcity: a small and inadequate amount, insufficiency of amount or supply; shortage

Nouns: shortage, lack, deficiency, poverty, want, insufficiency, infrequency, under-supply, rareness

Embodiment of Scarcity Consciousness:

  • Life is scarce with limited resources?
  • There isn’t enough to go around.
  • Can’t have what you want or others will be deprived.
  • Greediness and self-aggrandizement

Behavior of Scarcity Consciousness:

  • Moralistic judgements
  • Blame & Shame
  • Fear
  • Deny responsibility
  • Demands
  • Right and Wrong Thinking
  • Conflicts
  • Bullying

How do you embody the qualities of  Scarcity?

Motivation:   Reflect for a moment about whether you are aware that you can have a choice to have the pattern of thoughts that you think.  If  you are unaware that you have a choice, consider  the motivation for your current experiences.  Have you consciously made a decision to behave the way you do or do you do it automatically?

Success: How do you measure success?  Is it through having power over others to win so that there is always a winner and looser?  Consider a moment if you are enjoying your relationships with your partner, peers, employer, children.  Reflect on your self-value, confidence, respect, fear, stress and if your world is a safe place.

Integration:  If you do not understand your process of  what is creating your thoughts and your reactions you are behaving from an unconscious position.  A position that is a result  of  what you have experienced through your culture from others.

Your thought training has come from all the things that you have been told by your first family (mom, dad, siblings), extended family, teachers, friends, peers, and partners and now influenced by what you have viewed in movies, on T.V. and now internet.  This modeling has developed your brain’s self-image of who your are based on what you have been told about yourself from others!

Some tips for checking in follow:

  • Thinking ~ Do you think in terms of right and wrong?  Do you judge others for their appearance, station in life and how they behave?  Do your thoughts compare you to what you see others have and you don’t?
  • Behaviour ~ Do you speak in sentences of scarcity  consciousness? Do you say to others that you are right and they are wrong?  Do you get angry when you hear others share their opinion?  Do you interrupt others to tell your story?
  • Action Beyond Self Image ~ Do you understand the separation between how you feel about yourself ,  what you are thinking and what you actually say to others?  If you feel worthless, like a fraud and defective how you perceive your world will be through this self-image.  Can you separate your self-image from your actions?

Longing for a shift into another choice of experiencing that includes the brain development that you missed that is if your early training  is a result of staying fixed in the pattern of right and wrong?  For information on another experience of  abundance consciousness go to Embodiment of Abundance.  

If you are interested in how to become more articulate in creating a shift of consciousness, one that starts with how to speak it to create the brain shift,  Renee offers personal coaching, private and organized group lessons.  Imagine if your partner, peers, employers/ees spoke from a place of abundance mentality.  Once of the greatest values that would be demonstrated would be respect for others and self!

Post by Renee Lindstrom, for Inside Awareness for Healthy Living October 30th, 2012

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