Tag Archives: Relationships

Black & White, Right & Wrong

Posted on November 8, 2012 | Leave a comment

Are you someone who is experiencing your world experiences in black or white, right or wrong?

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Is so, are you curious and willing to explore and self – inquire based on the following pattern of self-questioning?

  • Are you aware that there is another experience available to you that isn’t  as clearly defined as you perceive it?
Take a moment and imagine how you would describe your body posture and the strength you are using to stand or sit up right.

Ask yourself what type of tree would you use to describe this experience?

If you could choose one of these trees which one would it be:

  • Pine
  • Cedar
  • Oak
Now imagine being a Willow Tree.

Can you transition into this experience with ease?  How does it feel in your body posture?  Does anything change, become softer or more flexible?

If you can easily imagine being a Willow Tree, now consider being Bamboo.

How does this concept come into you and through your experience?  Does it stop and become blocked at the thought of considering this vision or does it carry through to a deeper relaxation into your posture?

For those of you who enjoy experiencing through our physical senses try this exploration out.  Remember to have a curious mind.
  1. Now with a friend, peer or family member stand tall and strong with your feet firmly planted on the floor.   Hold  with resistance.  Have your helper push on you shoulder and feel the resistance and your strength push back.
  2. Let this go and become loose, soft and flexible with your feet still planted firmly on the floor and now in this expression have your helper push on your shoulder.  Feel the lack of resistance, resilience and how you still are able to hold your posture.
  3. Take a moment and reflect on how these two separate experiences through your physical strength, both are strong stances, and give yourself a moment to give feedback on how these two experiences where for you.  Which one is the one that you sense a higher quality of where you would like to be now?  Which one is your habitual reactive self? Which one would you be able to take an easy breath in or do you remember if you held your breathe or not?

Remember we only do what we know until a new experience and more information is available.  In each experience we are meeting our own needs.  It’s how we meet our needs that we could develop deeper awareness about to better fit who we long to be.  Are we meeting our needs through physical, dominate strength or are we meeting our needs through physical flexible strength?

Remember, whatever our bodies are doing, our thoughts will reflect this in our thinking and acting?  Information is perceived through our bodies and our mind translates it, therefore we act.  If our bodies are rigid, our thoughts will be black and white, right and wrong.

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP, November 8, 2012                                             Follow Renee on Facebook  & on Twitter

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http://www.insideawareness.com

 

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Embodiment of Scarcity ~ Awareness in Thinking

Posted on October 30, 2012 | Leave a comment

Definition of Scarcity: a small and inadequate amount, insufficiency of amount or supply; shortage

Nouns: shortage, lack, deficiency, poverty, want, insufficiency, infrequency, under-supply, rareness

Embodiment of Scarcity Consciousness:

  • Life is scarce with limited resources?
  • There isn’t enough to go around.
  • Can’t have what you want or others will be deprived.
  • Greediness and self-aggrandizement

Behavior of Scarcity Consciousness:

  • Moralistic judgements
  • Blame & Shame
  • Fear
  • Deny responsibility
  • Demands
  • Right and Wrong Thinking
  • Conflicts
  • Bullying

How do you embody the qualities of  Scarcity?

Motivation:   Reflect for a moment about whether you are aware that you can have a choice to have the pattern of thoughts that you think.  If  you are unaware that you have a choice, consider  the motivation for your current experiences.  Have you consciously made a decision to behave the way you do or do you do it automatically?

Success: How do you measure success?  Is it through having power over others to win so that there is always a winner and looser?  Consider a moment if you are enjoying your relationships with your partner, peers, employer, children.  Reflect on your self-value, confidence, respect, fear, stress and if your world is a safe place.

Integration:  If you do not understand your process of  what is creating your thoughts and your reactions you are behaving from an unconscious position.  A position that is a result  of  what you have experienced through your culture from others.

Your thought training has come from all the things that you have been told by your first family (mom, dad, siblings), extended family, teachers, friends, peers, and partners and now influenced by what you have viewed in movies, on T.V. and now internet.  This modeling has developed your brain’s self-image of who your are based on what you have been told about yourself from others!

Some tips for checking in follow:

  • Thinking ~ Do you think in terms of right and wrong?  Do you judge others for their appearance, station in life and how they behave?  Do your thoughts compare you to what you see others have and you don’t?
  • Behaviour ~ Do you speak in sentences of scarcity  consciousness? Do you say to others that you are right and they are wrong?  Do you get angry when you hear others share their opinion?  Do you interrupt others to tell your story?
  • Action Beyond Self Image ~ Do you understand the separation between how you feel about yourself ,  what you are thinking and what you actually say to others?  If you feel worthless, like a fraud and defective how you perceive your world will be through this self-image.  Can you separate your self-image from your actions?

Longing for a shift into another choice of experiencing that includes the brain development that you missed that is if your early training  is a result of staying fixed in the pattern of right and wrong?  For information on another experience of  abundance consciousness go to Embodiment of Abundance.  

If you are interested in how to become more articulate in creating a shift of consciousness, one that starts with how to speak it to create the brain shift,  Renee offers personal coaching, private and organized group lessons.  Imagine if your partner, peers, employers/ees spoke from a place of abundance mentality.  Once of the greatest values that would be demonstrated would be respect for others and self!

Post by Renee Lindstrom, for Inside Awareness for Healthy Living October 30th, 2012

Follow Renee on Facebook  & on Twitter

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Embodiment of Abundance ~ Awareness in Thinking

Posted on October 30, 2012 | Leave a comment

Definition of Abundance: an extremely  plentiful over-sufficient quantity or supply, overflowing fullness, affluence; wealth.  Abundance is the noun of Abundant.

Embodiment of Abundance Consciousness:

  • Life is abundant
  • There is more than enough to go around.
  • I can have what I need and so can others.

Behavior of Abundance Consciousness:

  • Mutuality
  • Equal balance of giving and receiving,
  • Exclusivity of all regardless of age, rage, rank, male or female

How do you embody the qualities of Abundance?

Motivation:  Begin by considering your longing to live in a state of  abundance consciousness.  Connect to your original motivator to choose a shift towards abundant thinking.  What was the attraction?

Success:  If you have thought that by setting an intention for abundance with expectations of receiving it,  reflect on the success you have had of drawing abundance into your life and keeping it.

Integration:  Now consider how you have integrated the qualities of abundance into your experiences and relationships.  Has it been through ritual of writing out affirmations, gatherings for creating abundance visions or simply making statements to self and others.

We are hearing that we are what we think we are.  Simply replacing the story isn’t as easy as we would like it to be.  Thinking we are now going to be living a life of abundance doesn’t replace our earlier thoughts that we have learned since childhood, it simply adds more story.  It is the stories we have learned since childhood that we are habitually acting from.

The self reflection then becomes,  are you connecting and creating the same beauty in your relationships as what motivated you to set an intention to live as though life was abundant.  How are you and others  around you enjoying this world?

Some tips for checking in follow:

  • Thinking ~ Do your mind thoughts and their sentence structure  reflect abundance consciousness?
  • Behavior ~ Do you speak in sentences of abundance consciousness?
  • Action Beyond Self Image ~ Do you understand the relationship between thinking abundance and behaving abundance? (Behaving abundance in this sense it not    empathy of prayer, mediation and gathering together for a cause, it is about those praying, gathering and mediating and their ability to spontaneously  identify and shift their personal  judgement, blaming and demands in the moment while in every day one on one interactions.)

If you are interested in how to become more articulate in creating a shift of consciousness into an abundant one that starts with how to speak it to create the brain shift Renee offers personal coaching, private and organized group lessons.  Imagine if your partner, peers, employers/ees spoke from a place of abundance mentality.  Once of the greatest values that would be demonstrated would be respect for others and self!

Post by Renee Lindstrom, for Inside Awareness for Healthy Living October 30th, 2012

Follow Renee on Facebook  & on Twitter

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Imagine a child’s world

Posted on October 26, 2012 | Leave a comment

That includes redirection and reassurance while being recognized versus, (you fill in the blanks)

  • You are,
  • Your doing,
  • You must,
  • Do!,
  • Go!,
  • Say your sorry!,

For example, Identify and acknowledge what is going on for them.  It takes as much time as it does to get angry and use force to get your own need met.  Hearing them takes less energy for all of you.  It does not mean you have to let them do what it is they are doing.  In fact you are teaching them to understand the feelings they are having.  They cannot teach this to themselves.   Such as,

“When you get angry about coming with us  I bet you are wanting to stay home and play and not come to another event with your brother and I.  Is that what’s going on for you?”

Now imagine the way you would habitually handle this type of situation.  You may not even be aware that they are meeting their own needs by their behavior and you may perceive this as resistance and label them as being __________.  Their resistance is a strategy for them to meet their needs in the only way they know how, which you may be taking personally and making it about them not listening to you.  If so, consider how your reaction impacts them.  How would your child process your reaction in a way that they stayed connected to their own value?  What might they be feeling and who would they go to for comfort?

Now consider the reasons you may have reacted that way?  Could it be the way you learned to behave based upon your experience or that you haven’t had any training on how to deal with multiple needs in the multiple relationships of your unique family?

Who do you go to to discuss your experiences of their reactions, their father perhaps?  Who do they go to to discuss your reactions?  Your behavior in their eyes may be exactly what they consider their behavior to be –  reactive.  How can their behavior be wrong and yours right?

For more info on Upcoming Parenting Workshops with Renee Lindstrom

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Understanding Ego mind through getting in touch with your own thinking and speaking

Posted on October 26, 2012 | Leave a comment

Our last workshop in a series of six and the individual workshops have  evolved into a deeper focus of  practice and understanding empathy.  The areas that came up for exploring included self-empathy, empathy in relationships and group empathy.  The purpose was to support group members to recognize their own  stories inside their mind that did not allow them to be present with what was actually happening in their relationship.  How we have done this it by developing skills for learning to recognize and identify their thoughts and behavior as a result of their thinking.

The last exercise involved having a volunteer demonstrate a process while sharing a personal life event and transforming what they had been telling themselves about it into a connection that included the rest of body functions,  outside of the frontal lobe of their brain!

At the beginning of the practice this participant shared their resistance at  connecting to another person in their life.  In the process ego dropped away as the mind stories became silent and what was real began to emerge.  As the stories of their mind became less interesting , what was real was their new self-connection to what was being experienced in the moment.  When the participant connected to what was real in them they expressed how they had a growing awareness of  what was going on for the other person that went beyond their original resistance.

You couldn’t ask for more!  The beauty that was visible in the participant and those in the group supporting this persons process was tangible through relaxed faces and the feelings of a group connection.    Through the practice other  participants began to recognizing their own stories and habits in experiencing how  they supported the process.  Did they become present to what they were hearing or did it stimulate their own stories or need to fix it by coming up with solutions.  If so, all these participants witnessed how this breaks the emphatic connection and experienced the effects of  disconnection of it becoming about them and their ego mind and no longer the person going through the exercise.

Beautiful! The participants having a practice of learning a language of connection demonstrated the ability to go beyond the disruption and carry the process back to the original speaker while holding empathy for the interrupter’s!

This brings up the question – Is empathy the absence (quieting) of ego?

For more information on these workshops with Renee Lindstrom go to relationships link

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Parents, when you fight with your partner, what do you tell the kids?

Posted on October 25, 2012 | Leave a comment

Parents do you go and talk to your kids after they hear or see you fight and talk to them about how it was for them to have been in this experience?  Do you help them with identifying their feelings and sharing what needs they had in the moments of the fight?

Do you try to tell them what the fight was about and get them to pick sides or do you tell them truthfully what you are feeling about them experiencing the fight with you?   Such as regret and sadness that you didn’t met their needs for safety?  Once you and the child connect to theirs and your needs about the fighting experience you simply might say that you and partner had needs that were not being met and that the frustration came out in the behavior that was demonstrated.   Do children need to know adults stories or do they simply need to know you care about them and that it is normal to have frustration?  What’s important might be how you model the process of dealing with the frustration and not the frustration itself.  Be truthful about the behavior scaring you if in fact it did and begin teaching them the feelings that go with different behaviors without making the behaviors threatening.  Normalizing the behavior through the process of coming  to understand it begins to defuse the level of fear attached to it and its power, opening the door to future mediation skills in moments they may face anger.

Turn these moments into teachable experiences and explore it and not feed the fear.

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‘Positions within relationships and the field you create ‘

Posted on October 21, 2012 | Leave a comment

I introduced a concept at yesterdays *workshop to bring awareness to the positions each of us hold in our  relationships.  Have you taken time to consider the unique individual  position you and yours have  and how these positions are separate and overlap to those around you?  After introducing this I led the participants through some awareness exercises to directly experience being in the center of their universe while in their conversations.  These exercises follow a  pattern  for both the speaker and listener to experience  and stay in the center of their universe.

In these dialogue exercises a field was created that was their direct experience and  felt by those around them.   Think about the following Rumi’s quote and consider,  if you are still in judgement thinking  of right and wrong what the field is that you are creating in your relationships.  What is your direct experience and that of others as they connect with you or share in the field around you?

 “Out beyond right doing and wrong doing there is a field, I will meet you there. ” 

*These workshops are designed with the intention  to  share how to turn disconnection into connection and to bring personal  awareness to how  ones personal communication habits impacts direct experiences.  For more information on how to take part go to link.

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