Tag Archives: Well Being

Five steps to put on your ‘aging to do list!’


Behavior & decisions impact one’s senior years.  It can show up as mental, emotional and physical suffering.  (Mortality is mutual for politicians, employers, employees, activists, mothers, fathers, wealthy or poor)



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by:  Renee Lindstrom, May 02, 2015

Top 7 signs your love relationship is struggling

RelationshipSo much of your time in being a twosome is spend taking care of things and being busy.  You both have schedules of your own and one with your  partner and  children if you have any.  You know when family chores have to be done,  when bills need to be paid and when anyone is unwell or sick.  You strive to have a healthy home and family.  But in these efforts to live  a family life, you often overlook the glue that holds your  family together.  The  intimacy in your  relationship that makes you a couple.  Everything around you may be nice but your relationship is suffering and needs tending and care.  What are the telltale signs that your relationship is struggling?

1.     Fear & Resentment

You know there are things you should be doing to help your relationship thrive, but you avoid them because they make you uncomfortable.  Maybe they don’t seem interesting or naturally compelling or you believe in “following your joy”. You feel less confident about speaking up about issues that are important to you and put them on the back burner. You may choose the path of least resistance, least risk and least learning or effort until it is a crisis. With the added pressure and stress of a crisis, it is hard to do anything effectively or authentically when driven by fear. It’s a vicious cycle and waste of time and peace of mind.

2.  Avoiding Issues in Your Relationship

Your relationship with your partner is unpredictable and wearing thin. You don’t have a clear sense of what is expected of you or what you expect yourself in each moment. You love your home, your children, your community, but at times you put your head in the sand when it comes to really knowing “where things are at” between you and your partner.  You don’t know how to develop intimacy in your relationship.  You have had more than your share of lost opportunities to be valued by your partner or to value them.  The ego loves ambiguity and uses it to create stress and worry, robbing you of joy in your relationship.

3.      When Meaning is Missing  from Your Relationship

When you have put aside your faith or life philosophy for the relationship and if it is not the inner source for your actions  it creates a compartmentalized life. Cut off from intention and  source of what motivates you, your relationship can start to feel devoid of inspiration and purpose, resulting in depressed daily functions.   This is often when partners say they feel alone in their relationship, with heavy burdens on their shoulders, contributing to relationships burnout.

4.      Walking in the Disconnected Relationship

This is when relationships feels like work and as though there is no purpose. Your marriage can feel like there is no mutuality and that there is no point of connection.  It is not easy and you feel like it takes huge effort just to get the smallest thing done. You feel resentment when considering how much effort, time and energy your relationship requires. You may secretly wish you could cancel your marriage.  You have lost the memory of  the positive aspects of what you once loved in being a couple.  This is relationship burnout.

5.      You Feel Abandoned and Alone

You don’t know where to turn or how to start.  You feel frustrated at putting effort into this, or the efforts you are making are not yielding results. You feel discomfort, concern or fear when you and your partner move farther apart or disagree.   In the absence of a thriving relationship in your marriage you begin to feel like anyone else would be a better match for you.   You have lost track of you and the integrity of your commitment.  You secretly hope that a new partner will have the qualities that you feel are lacking in your current relationship.  You believe you should be enough and that you deserve to be loved and feel the affection that has been lost and that you will find this in a new partner.  Sadly, we know that is not the case.

6.      Current Communication Sucks

You are angry and hurt that your partner is not fulfilling your needs and that your relationship does not show your true self. You don’t care if your partner is getting their needs met in your relationships or not, yet you do care about what they are doing.  You may begin to control everything to try and find the support you need without considering what they need or even to consider if they want to take part. Physical intimacy is a source of guilt and anxiety.   If you haven’t had successful moments of intimacy in your communication experiences you may have become restrictive with your affection towards one another.    Things are beginning to fall apart and you can’t keep on top of it.  You may come up with ideas to fix things, such as replacing furniture, changing your address, increasing your family in some way, seeking therapy all the while hoping it will work this time! You may feel like circumstances are working against you more than they are working for you. Good news is, this is a pretty easy fix if you are ready, willing and committed.

7.      Bad Communication

You tend to seek help when you realize that you are about to separate, maybe become divorced and lose everything you have worked for.  Your goals have only ever considered your financial future and where you want to be financially in the future, where you will live, where your children will go to college and your retirement.  You have never had clear relationships goals and no planning has gone into what make your relationship harmonious and one that equally values each person.  There are no clearly established agreements that support what is meaningful for each partner.  Somewhere an unspoken assumption is that one partner has to do what the other wants and give up their dream as we have been taught there is a winner and a looser.  We have never experienced two winners in a relationship before so how would we know how to create this in our own relationships?  Without the skills to create a relationship that each partner equally matters, you feel frustrated at the reality that learning how to do this is actually an ongoing process of building trust so that you can experience intimacy and rapport. It will need constant nurturing and attention for most of the life of your relationship.

As a fellow human being who loves being in relationships, I have had times in my life when I  have experienced relationships when they were not in balance, resulted in separation and divorce.   On a daily basis, clients come for support to regain wellness and balance.  Most times it is  the end of their relationship and not at the beginning or middle when it would be time to seek support to create wellness in the relationships now for future sustainability.  If your marriage is in the spirit of who you are, what you do is the relationship.  You need wellness in both to create thriving intimate relationship.

At getting Intouch Coaching, I specialize in helping partners in relationships move into healthy balance to create thriving and intimate relationships mentally, emotionally and physically.  Connect with me at Inside Awareness for Healthy Living to find out how to increase the vitality in your relationship.  Isn’t now the time to begin to take the steps and make the effort where it really matters?  In the center point from which all your experiences start from?  Contact info is renee (at) insideawareness (dot) com or two,five,zero-three,six,one-seven,five,zero,eight.


“Living your confidence balanced with empathy” in relationships and redefining ego

It takes courage to be heart-centered, confident and self-assured.  It also takes courage to live from this point of independence.

Experiencing any beauty in your relationships begins with your behavioral  patterns and how much inner-confidence and independence you feel balanced together with your ability for being self-assuring.

You may seek change by changing the way you look through diet, clothes, fitness  and re-designing your surroundings.  Do these last when you are affected by your relationships!  What is the first thing you reach for when you have a disagreement or are bored?  

What would your personal goal success rate be by starting with inner change support, so what you show on the outside is coming from the inside?

Inside Awareness Methods focus upon seven steps for personal success.  They are integrated into Renee’s coaching and teaching experiences.  Whether you are looking for transformation in your relationships or increasing your  movement abilities,  following these simple steps change how you experience yourself.


  1. Commitment
  2. Intention
  3. Grounding
  4. Practice
  5. Integration
  6. Learning
  7. Conscious Habitual Patterns
If your “search” for change has deepened into a “longing” for change it is time to take grounded and supportive action to make it happen.  Find out more about each one of the these steps by joining Renee at one of her events or by making a direct inquiry.  Email her at renee(at)insideawareness(dot)com or call her at (two, five, zero) three-six-one-seven-five-zero-eight.  


Inner Connecting

Researching information on Quiet Gardens for an upcoming post on  Walk-Victoria.com I have come a video on the perspective of Walking as a form of prayer.

I wish to share this video and express how Moshe Feldenkrais developed Awareness through Movement® lessons.  Moshe came from the perspective of a person being attentive to their inner sensual qualities, in the experience of an isolated movement, while expanding and increasing  their awareness to include how isolated movements can expand to other parts of the body functions.  It is my experience that in this perspective of attentiveness a person may automatically go into the same inner connections as expressed through this video.

For me then, setting up a Mindful Walking Practice in my neighborhood’s gardens or on a local Labyrinth would be a multiple skill that would support the growth of required attentiveness  in my Awareness through Movement® and Awareness in Thinking practices.  It was with this focus in mind that Walk-Victoria.com was created!  If in Victoria it is my wish that you use the free resources of Walk-Victoria.com to find interesting space in our community.  If in other communities of the world, I hope you will explore and find beauty in your walks!

Posted by Renee Lindstrom, November 4, 2012, Follow Renee on Facebook  & on Twitter

‘Positions within relationships and the field you create ‘

I introduced a concept at yesterdays *workshop to bring awareness to the positions each of us hold in our  relationships.  Have you taken time to consider the unique individual  position you and yours have  and how these positions are separate and overlap to those around you?  After introducing this I led the participants through some awareness exercises to directly experience being in the center of their universe while in their conversations.  These exercises follow a  pattern  for both the speaker and listener to experience  and stay in the center of their universe.

In these dialogue exercises a field was created that was their direct experience and  felt by those around them.   Think about the following Rumi’s quote and consider,  if you are still in judgement thinking  of right and wrong what the field is that you are creating in your relationships.  What is your direct experience and that of others as they connect with you or share in the field around you?

 “Out beyond right doing and wrong doing there is a field, I will meet you there. ” 

*These workshops are designed with the intention  to  share how to turn disconnection into connection and to bring personal  awareness to how  ones personal communication habits impacts direct experiences.  For more information on how to take part go to link.