I do not often use the word addictions. Only recently have I used it in my posts. I don’t let it influence my personal or group lessons. It is such a distracting word with so many changing definitions and a word that is normally very personal to the person speaking it into life, or listening to someone else speaking it to life. What I focus on is the instinct that turns one towards an addictive quality. For me the instinct is triggered by survival. An easy example is sex. Sex is a basic need in the base level of needs along with water, food, shelter, air. If someone is operating under anxiety, stress, fear, or anger emotions it will trigger an instinctual reaction. In this example it would be self soothing through basic intercourse without much meaning, other than relief. However, the urge in the gut is often still there during and after. If one increases sleep patterns, eats healthy, and starts to experience self fulfilling needs being met, including meaningful relationships, the instinctual need to self sooth shifts as the survival instinct diminishes. This doesn’t mean one loses their sex drive, it just shifts it into more meaningful interactions. This self soothing example can be replaced with the actions of gambling, drinking, drugs, smoking, food, etc. Often the focus is on the label – addiction, which can shift the mind focus to the past behaviour, memories, or blaming and shaming self and others. If one can capture the moment, there is a felt sense of the instinct that is felt prior to going into the habit of reacting to it. This is a moment to observe what just happened. (Something is happening in the moment of the trigger.) This can be the point of change. Notice the trigger and instead of going into the strategy for self soothing, one can process the trigger and create inner balance. This is an important skill development. Leaving it unchecked creates a type of random chaos either by oneself, or others who have clued in on how to keep one in the agitated state. (Yes, common strategy for others is to redirect someone’s focus of attention to get their own needs met). The person who introduced this to me, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., used an example of eating. Often when people become uncomfortable, they will reach for food. He would suggest the person reaching for food to stop and ask themselves if they are hungry, or if something else was instead gnawing at them. Usually, they are not hungry, and this pause to check in is enough to shift the experience to talking about whatever it is that instigated the action of reaching for food. It could be as simple as being asked an uncomfortable question. The trigger is inner conflict. If you disagree with someone, it can cause inner conflict. If you hear a hard to hear message, it can create inner conflict. If someone tries to control you it can cause inner conflict. etc., etc.
LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:
- Learning opportunities:
- Integrating personal and group values to create a point of connection in relationships and environment
- Introduction to transforming reactions into value focused connections
- Integrating values through intention
- Integrating values through the environment
- Somatic Movement to increase physical, mental, and emotional function, health and wellbeing
- Clarity of Environmental Stimulus to reduce blocks to health and wellbeing
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The only way to change is action
Conversation is an equal opportunity and shared experience
Integrate values through Subtle Energies in the environment:
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1st Phase of Integration – Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
2nd Phase of Integration – Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
3rd Phase of Integration – Integration (Embodiment)
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For me it is an experience of one merging their pain with an others.
I was told that those who were not sobbing didn’t have a similar pain as the person who was receiving empathy. Those who were had that same abuse in their lifetime that stimulated old pain. Fortunately this intensive was to transition from moral judgments and right and wrong thinking. This explanation was shared with clarity and as a matter of fact. What I learned was that those identifying with the pain had an opportunity to heal themselves in witnessing the resolution in the person who was receiving empathy from Dr. Rosenberg. The key was to feel their pain rise up and let their thoughts rest. The skill was to resist going into their own story that would hijack the circumstances away from the speaker. I call this the ultimate witnessing ability. (This is when you can stop yourself from hijacking someones story away from them and making it about you.)
Inside Awareness Center for Integrative Somatic Learning 