“If there are problems in the bedroom, there’s conflict!”
“If there are problems in the relationship there are problems in the bedroom!”
These are two comments I made at our 3rd Removing Obstacles to Love workshop last night! Our conversation was focused on the aspects of our primary relationships. Breaking it down into bite sized pieces, so to speak, there are four areas of focus in our primary relationships that affect each other. They are:
- Family/Community/Social Network
- Household Health/Financial
- Relationship (Interaction & Behavior)
- Intimacy
Our consideration was on the dynamics of unresolved issues and how some people can compartmentalized their relationship issues and still be intimate while others need to have resolution on outstanding issues to have their needs for safety met to be vulnerable enough for intimacy!
Where are you in this topic? Do you need the resolution of your unresolved issues with your partner to be as intimate as you like?
In this scenario, I suggested that if couples are open and honest with each other and they speak up about what is important to them in the moment that this present connection could lead them to intimacy. Why? It is the connection that is important, not the issues. Any unresolved issues is about not be seen, not being heard and not being valued! My recommendations are to slow down and listen. Learn to listen to your partners soul and your own!
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![Happy_Couple[1]](https://insideawareness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/f0f19-happy_couple1.gif?w=500)
Empowered relationships begin with one’s personal deepened connection to their own personal values. Knowing our values and trusting them to guide us gives us the strength and willpower to be true to ourselves! This foundation is key for an interdependent relationship that is life enriching for both our partners and ourselves!
Integrating a language of love using a model designed for ‘natural listening!’ Practice speaking skills that will increase your opportunities for experiencing loving kindness between you and your loved one. Meet your needs to be seen, heard and valued while meeting the same needs for your partners. These gathering will focus upon developing one’s own abilities for deeper listening and pausing before speaking (reducing habitual reactions that cause misunderstandings).
Tip of the Day: Take your time noticing each other reactions and flirt-i-ness. If you are attracted you will make gestures that you find mirrored by them. Love this stage as this is the time of heightened dreams and hopefulness. Don’t rush past this stage and extinguish it too soon.
Today’s Tip: Explore your own inner messaging patterns. Do you beat yourself and others up? Imagine how attractive this is to others and commit to change through creative self-development! Begin your practice now!
Inside Awareness Center for Integrative Somatic Learning 