“If there are problems in the bedroom, there’s conflict!”
“If there are problems in the relationship there are problems in the bedroom!”
These are two comments I made at our 3rd Removing Obstacles to Love workshop last night! Our conversation was focused on the aspects of our primary relationships. Breaking it down into bite sized pieces, so to speak, there are four areas of focus in our primary relationships that affect each other. They are:
- Family/Community/Social Network
- Household Health/Financial
- Relationship (Interaction & Behavior)
Our consideration was on the dynamics of unresolved issues and how some people can compartmentalized their relationship issues and still be intimate while others need to have resolution on outstanding issues to have their needs for safety met to be vulnerable enough for intimacy!
Where are you in this topic? Do you need the resolution of your unresolved issues with your partner to be as intimate as you like?
In this scenario, I suggested that if couples are open and honest with each other and they speak up about what is important to them in the moment that this present connection could lead them to intimacy. Why? It is the connection that is important, not the issues. Any unresolved issues is about not be seen, not being heard and not being valued! My recommendations are to slow down and listen. Learn to listen to your partners soul and your own!