What are some qualities that clients would experience in your private sessions that they would remember?
Four qualities that come to mind are: support, fairness, patience and empathy. Whether a movement, empathy or personal coaching the sessions are grounded upon empathetic listening and honest expression, (even if hard to hear messages). Focus is upon the clients, not the practitioner, therefore a direct opportunity for the client can be for a deeper self connection. In sessions the clients are guided through their experience replacing the teaching model (being talked at) that culturally we have come to rely upon. Being told, fixed or having the person we are paying teach us through their experience is so unsatisfactory. It is the qualities of willingness and courage that inspire change. An atmosphere encouraging safe reflection achieves quicker and easier transitions with the least amount of effort!
Whether sessions include both parties or not, space is held to consider the cause and effect for both sides. This can deepen conscious understanding of the root causes of the current experiences. This process is based upon empathy to transition out of right or wrong judgments for clarity and to regain composure, balance and free will for making difficult choices. Life changing choices resulting from reaction can create bigger issues, resentment and regret. Therefore these session need honesty, patience and empathy to support a smoother transition forward.
Once again this process focuses on empathetic listening except now it is focused upon what the body is demonstrating. Unknown to most in our culture is that our bodies tell our story! Through observation and felt touch in a safe environment the physical, mental, emotional and belief aspects of oneself can open to patterns that are no longer working. It is the awareness of old habits and this new experience that shifts outcomes. These sessions need honesty, patience and empathy to support clients inner felt sense needs for safety to be met to let go of resistance to go beyond into a new experience in how they feel themselves.
Clients who are either motivated for change or with chronic conditions will have home or office visits to increase support for life change through their environment. Like ones body posture the home or office tells a story of one’s experience, yet not one of a personal self-image story. This is a story of where ones attention is focused in life and how the relationships are in community that shares the space. These visits need honesty, patience and empathy to support each member in the process in a way that change can happen.
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Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature – May 2015
Posted in FAQ = Frequently Asked Questions
Tagged Change, Empathy, Inside Awareness for Health Living, Life Coaching, Life Skills, Lifestyle, Movement, Patience, Relationship Coaching, Relationships, Transition
Recognizing need for change,
Change takes root when the change is meaningful and the conscious awareness recognizes the differences of the two experiences. (before and after the change) Conscious awareness is beyond justifying your actions and reasoning, it is accepting it as it is and observing it.
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000
When I went on line to read the definitions of the word conflict I found the focus to be on analyzing the experiences versus understanding the source of the behavior. As well, there was only focus on negative behavior. getting InTouch’s definition is quite different. It is not written from the perspective of someone’s opinion and (t/pr)eaching, but written for understanding, learning and integration of one’s own interpretation of it! The focus shifts inward for understanding and away from looking outside at external explanations. After-all, how can you integrate an analysis into your habitual behavior to change it? You can’t! You need the steps for change.
getting InTouch definition:
The term conflict is an evaluative expression of a reactive experience. It begins with perception that is filtered through opinions and beliefs which create emotion that results in a reaction or action. Conflict is a label to name an experience. It is not limited to negative experiences. Conflict occurs when there is an interruption to one’s ordinary experience in the moment. It is not the resulting behavior. It is one’s unique *perspective and emotions that arise with met or unmet needs that then is followed by the action taken to meet that need. This is then what creates conflict for others.
*Our perspective and emotions are unique to us and learned from our own personal background of learning, faith and family history. No one else has the same unique perspective.
- Simple examples that all happened while writing this post:
1. Conflict between two people:
My daughter interrupts my work to ask me my opinion about a program we watched the night before and when I share my opinion she raises her voice and tells me I am wrong. Feeling impatient I simply cut her off and say, “Forget it, I am not having this conversation now!” My conflict is that my needs for ease and peace to focus on my work are not being met and I am frustrated. We do not have a connection as neither of our needs are met! She interrupted me to have a connection herself and when she didn’t agree with my interpretation my resulting reaction would create pain for her. Her need would not have been met and there would be consequences. She’s hurt and angry.
2. Inner conflict and conflict between two people:
The same daughter interrupts me later to give me affection and we hug. I have a need met for connection and I also have a need to focus on my work. Therefore I experience a conflict in the moment of these two sets of needs. I feel loving and rushed at the same time. She may feel disappointed and confused at not having my full attention yet also had her need for touch is met.
3. Conflict with connection:
My daughter is dancing while I am working and I stop to watch. I smile at the pleasure I am feeling and she comes over for a soft hug and we connect in a warm and joyful way. I still have a need to continue to work yet in the moment connecting with her was a greater need. She responded and her need was met in the moment.
Conflict happens at the level of perception and experiencing the emotions, followed by the actions we take (or not take) to met our needs.
Imagine if we began to learn our behavior and stopped analyzing and judging it! We’d be the change we want to be in the world!
Renee Lindstrom – 10/27/13