Meaningful change happens when a tribe of bodies in alignment with each other begin to manifest together. Positive change can happen with the coming together of those who share similar connection beliefs such as acceptance, empathy, direct expressions of honesty, respect, consideration and acknowledgement. The willingness to listen to each others needs will show up in the creation of concrete solutions for the sustainability of life and the planet. Why? It is about growing and expanding not controlling.
There is only experience, and nothing else. It is how you experience that is important, not the end point. It is about the journey on the way. You will know which community is your tribe through the experience of being enriched or drained.
The question becomes then, can you tell soon enough which state you are experiencing and move to the one that serves you better? or, do you like struggle as it is familiar, therefore stay stuck in the mud as it is familiar?
Read more on coaching, language enrichment, somatic movement
Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged actualization, Body, Community, Creating Experiences, existance, Experience, Inside Awareness, Language, manifest, Mind, Movement, Social Change, Somatic Movement, tribe
When I went on line to read the definitions of the word conflict I found the focus to be on analyzing the experiences versus understanding the source of the behavior. As well, there was only focus on negative behavior. getting InTouch’s definition is quite different. It is not written from the perspective of someone’s opinion and (t/pr)eaching, but written for understanding, learning and integration of one’s own interpretation of it! The focus shifts inward for understanding and away from looking outside at external explanations. After-all, how can you integrate an analysis into your habitual behavior to change it? You can’t! You need the steps for change.
getting InTouch definition:
The term conflict is an evaluative expression of a reactive experience. It begins with perception that is filtered through opinions and beliefs which create emotion that results in a reaction or action. Conflict is a label to name an experience. It is not limited to negative experiences. Conflict occurs when there is an interruption to one’s ordinary experience in the moment. It is not the resulting behavior. It is one’s unique *perspective and emotions that arise with met or unmet needs that then is followed by the action taken to meet that need. This is then what creates conflict for others.
*Our perspective and emotions are unique to us and learned from our own personal background of learning, faith and family history. No one else has the same unique perspective.
- Simple examples that all happened while writing this post:
1. Conflict between two people:
My daughter interrupts my work to ask me my opinion about a program we watched the night before and when I share my opinion she raises her voice and tells me I am wrong. Feeling impatient I simply cut her off and say, “Forget it, I am not having this conversation now!” My conflict is that my needs for ease and peace to focus on my work are not being met and I am frustrated. We do not have a connection as neither of our needs are met! She interrupted me to have a connection herself and when she didn’t agree with my interpretation my resulting reaction would create pain for her. Her need would not have been met and there would be consequences. She’s hurt and angry.
2. Inner conflict and conflict between two people:
The same daughter interrupts me later to give me affection and we hug. I have a need met for connection and I also have a need to focus on my work. Therefore I experience a conflict in the moment of these two sets of needs. I feel loving and rushed at the same time. She may feel disappointed and confused at not having my full attention yet also had her need for touch is met.
3. Conflict with connection:
My daughter is dancing while I am working and I stop to watch. I smile at the pleasure I am feeling and she comes over for a soft hug and we connect in a warm and joyful way. I still have a need to continue to work yet in the moment connecting with her was a greater need. She responded and her need was met in the moment.
Conflict happens at the level of perception and experiencing the emotions, followed by the actions we take (or not take) to met our needs.
Imagine if we began to learn our behavior and stopped analyzing and judging it! We’d be the change we want to be in the world!
Renee Lindstrom – 10/27/13
A human being is like a computer that is capable of thousands of things. But we put in a card that only lets it do one thing. Until you change the card, that is all the computer will do: that one thing, over and over and over. That is the state in which we function and we believe that no other cards exist, that this card is the one and only card that we can function upon. I say that the difference between human beings and machines is that we make the cards. So, when one card doesn´t work, take it out and put in a new card. ‘Moshe Feldenkrais’
If you are looking to be healed you may be giving the up your responsibility for your health and well-being. If however, you are seeking change through learning you may be evolving and raising your health potential.
How can you shift your consciousness into becoming an equal partner in your own wellness program? How can you direct your own story?
Do you need a health diploma? Do you need a degree? Do you need a PhD? Do you need a scientific background? No, No, No and No!
You can however seek the knowledge and experience of those with a health diploma, degree, PhD and have a scientific background. Remember you are an equal partner in any interaction. They DO NOT have your experience and you DO NOT know theirs.
How can you become more informed? One of the best ways could be through listening to your own experience and to your questions without expecting a definitive answer. Listening to the answer without your own expectation of totally accepting the answer as the last solution. In other words remaining open to the possibilities and the potential and becoming your own authority without limiting your experience. If you want to evolve into higher health and well-being the process isn’t stagnant, it’s never complete.
How can you develop the skills to open to your experience and develop your own inner listening skills?
Through seeking personal development and discovering techniques that meet your needs for learning in all areas. It’s not one or the other, it’s a balanced approach to support your whole living system. Your community, your home, your body and your mind. It’s your sustainability, your support, your past, your present and future. It’s about you, your conscious awareness, your motivation and your intention and the story you want to live.
Recently attending a business lunch it was fun to hear about others and share as we began getting to know each other . At the end it came time to say good-bye and connect one last time. Our earlier sharing included expressing who we are and how we contribute in the community. Based upon this sharing I received a compliment based upon the complimentors personal experience of someone else they knew. This other person may or may not do similar work as I do. It began, “Do you know ……..”, I love them, I know their work and I am surprised that I already know it! It comes natural to me.” This was a compliment to me of admiration for the work she heard me share based upon working in a classroom with students.
First of all, let me ask, “Has this ever happened to you?” Second let me ask, “How does it make you feel?” “Thirdly, do you feel recognized for the work you do, appreciated for what you are sharing of yourself and heard when you hear a comparison to someone else and how much they admire the work of someone else?” Fourthly, “Can you hear the compliment beneath all that?”
This is a typical, ordinary example of our social communication. We are not aware of what is triggering us into reactions at the best of times, especially in these types of situations – meeting new people, perhaps nervous and wanting to connect.
This exact experience could be a reason to consider learning more about our communication and how it affects us without our conscious knowing. When we share we do become vulnerable even at business functions. Not hearing the value in how we contribute in the feedback we receive, especially in compliments, could create a reaction in us, However wonderful the event was, we could take it personally and leave feeling unsettled and discouraged or we leave feeling annoyed and resentful. For us to experience a disconnection with-in ourselves and with others may just take one interaction like this.
Training is for your learning benefit to begin to notice what a comment like this creates inside of you when you hear it so that you can begin holding back from your typical and habitual reactions. Taking a moment instead to become curious and to wonder what the meaning is underneath the words you are hearing may make a huge difference to how you would normally take in this information.
Training to stop, check in and becoming curious can change your whole perspective and ultimately your whole way of being! It doesn’t need to be difficult, it can be fun, it can be creative and you can have choices you may not even be aware of!