Tag Archives: Behavior

Intimacy ~ Art of Listening and the responsibility of the speaker

Listening changes when the space is created to feel supported by everyone in the group while, at the same time, hearing “new information on how to listen” and having the courage to participate in the guided practice suggestions without worrying about right and wrong ways of speaking.                                     Renee Lindstrom

There is joy in working with individuals committed to improving the intimacy in their relationships.  It is not the traditional sharing circle of going on and on about our stories and talking about it!  The learning comes through the experience of sharing in a precise pattern of speaking and listening to increase the potential of spontaneous vulnerability and freedom of speech.  There are no rituals, feathers, labels, conditions or talk therapy!

Our  learning time together become a unified experience of a series of planned practices designed to learn through the experience itself.  In the  closing  feedback  I hear unique and individual comments of learning that is coming from their own source of creative expression.  The tools have laid out a pattern for exploring deeper within and the awareness that is expressed is simple, intimate and beautiful.  It is easy for the ears of others to really take it in!  

The members of the group  now have a new memory experience to notice the differences of their interactions with their partner through the week until we met again.  Mission accomplished and we didn’t have to go on 3, 7 or 9 day  retreat, be healed or fixed, or hand ourselves over to any higher power or focus upon our conditions.   A set of intimacy tools that can be taught easily and be yours by your willingness to experience it.  

To find out more about how to experience personal clarity and power in your world – inquire by email – renee(at)insideawareness(dot)com.

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Resilient Relationships

Practicing Relationships - May '13

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“Living your confidence balanced with empathy” in relationships and redefining ego

It takes courage to be heart-centered, confident and self-assured.  It also takes courage to live from this point of independence.

Experiencing any beauty in your relationships begins with your behavioral  patterns and how much inner-confidence and independence you feel balanced together with your ability for being self-assuring.

You may seek change by changing the way you look through diet, clothes, fitness  and re-designing your surroundings.  Do these last when you are affected by your relationships!  What is the first thing you reach for when you have a disagreement or are bored?  

What would your personal goal success rate be by starting with inner change support, so what you show on the outside is coming from the inside?

Inside Awareness Methods focus upon seven steps for personal success.  They are integrated into Renee’s coaching and teaching experiences.  Whether you are looking for transformation in your relationships or increasing your  movement abilities,  following these simple steps change how you experience yourself.

SEVEN STEPS TO SUCCESS

  1. Commitment
  2. Intention
  3. Grounding
  4. Practice
  5. Integration
  6. Learning
  7. Conscious Habitual Patterns
If your “search” for change has deepened into a “longing” for change it is time to take grounded and supportive action to make it happen.  Find out more about each one of the these steps by joining Renee at one of her events or by making a direct inquiry.  Email her at renee(at)insideawareness(dot)com or call her at (two, five, zero) three-six-one-seven-five-zero-eight.  

 

Behavior is a result of how you react to your environment

Three doorways into exploring  behavior awareness and change with Renee at Inside for increasing your confidence and improving your relationships are:

  • your own body posture and movement patterns
  • your relationships
  • influences of your surroundings

If you are ready for change in your relationships Renee recommends a program of seven steps to increase your rate of success.

For more information or inquires email renee(at)insideawareness(dot)com.

Root Causes of 10 Feelings

Have you ever considered what the source of some of your feelings are?  Check out some root causes of 10 feeling words that do not focus upon labeling or moralistic judgement.  Check in next time and not label someone a bully, notice any changes if you were to reword it.  What if you changed it to; their need for peer respect, kindness and safety are not being met?

Think about this.  If a student or employee feels embarrassed by their teacher or boss, how to they process their feelings?  Is there a chance that they will go out into the playground, office, store or even take it home  and act out violently?   How do you process hard to hear messages?

1.  Scared – If you are scared your needs for these values are not being met;

  • safety, consideration,  need for inclusion, belonging, peer respect, to contribute

2.  Angry – If you are angry your needs for these values are not being met;

fairness, autonomy, respect, to be seen, to be heard, acknowledged, appreciation  to matter, choice, safety, consideration, safety, peace….

3. Frustrated – If you are frustrated your needs for these values are not being met;

trust, honesty, acknowledgement, to be seen, appreciation, respect, calm, peace

4.  Hurt – If you are hurt your needs for these values are not being met;

appreciation, respect, kindness, acknowledgement, recognition, honest, trust, reliability, fairness, honesty, justice

5.  Disappointed –  If you are disappointed your needs for these values are not being met;

trust, dependability, honesty, committment

6.  Confused – If you are confused your needs for these values are not being met;

fairness, clarity, understanding, empathy

7.  Sad – If you are sad your needs for these values are not being met;

support, understanding, caring, inclusion, belonging, consideration  respect, trust, respect, friendship, community, acknowledgment, recognition, fairness, mutuality

8.  Lonely – If you are lonely your needs for these values are not being met;

friendship, companionship, relationship, community, belonging, inclusion, to matter, to be valued, to contribute, recognition, acknowledgement, appreciated

9.  Overwhelmed – If you are overwhelmed your needs for these values are not being met;

ease, space, peace, quiet, freedom, autonomy, support, understanding

10.  Embarrassed – If you are embarrassed your needs for these values are not being met;

understanding, acknowledgement, respectful communication, belonging, inclusion, to be heard, to matter and be valued, acceptance

 

See 10 Words Commonly confused as feelings

 

10 Words commonly confused with feelings

Theses 10 words are mistakenly used to describe feelings when they are words to describe experiences or make evaluations.  Check out beside them what the true feelings of the speaker might be when they are used:

 1.  Abandoned  – terrified, hurt, bewildered, sad, frightened, lonely

2.  Attached – scared, angry, defiant, hostile

3.  Belittled – angry, frustrated, tense, distressed

4.   Betrayed – angry, hurt, disappointed, enraged

5.  Blamed – angry, scared, confused, antagonistic, hostile, bewildered, hurt

6.  Bullied – angry, scared

7.  Cornered – angry, scared, anxious

8.  Criticized – in pain, scared, anxious, frustrated, humiliated, angry, embarrassed

9.  Disliked – sad, lonely, hurt

10.  Dumped on – angry, overwhelmed

What might the root causes of these feeling experiences be?  More at Root Causes of 10 feelings.

Parents, when you fight with your partner, what do you tell the kids?

Parents do you go and talk to your kids after they hear or see you fight and talk to them about how it was for them to have been in this experience?  Do you help them with identifying their feelings and sharing what needs they had in the moments of the fight?

Do you try to tell them what the fight was about and get them to pick sides or do you tell them truthfully what you are feeling about them experiencing the fight with you?   Such as regret and sadness that you didn’t met their needs for safety?  Once you and the child connect to theirs and your needs about the fighting experience you simply might say that you and partner had needs that were not being met and that the frustration came out in the behavior that was demonstrated.   Do children need to know adults stories or do they simply need to know you care about them and that it is normal to have frustration?  What’s important might be how you model the process of dealing with the frustration and not the frustration itself.  Be truthful about the behavior scaring you if in fact it did and begin teaching them the feelings that go with different behaviors without making the behaviors threatening.  Normalizing the behavior through the process of coming  to understand it begins to defuse the level of fear attached to it and its power, opening the door to future mediation skills in moments they may face anger.

Turn these moments into teachable experiences and explore it and not feed the fear.