Category Archives: Uncategorized

School for first timers!

Preparing for fall workshops in the community I was invited to a meeting to discuss what the school Counselors would like me to present in my Parenting and Teacher  getting Intouch Workshops.  In this meeting  I learned many possibilities for supporting parents who are getting their little one’s off to school for the first time.

Sitting now at this end of the parenting years (17 and 19 years old) and looking back  I remembered how lost my children and I where entering the first time.  We didn’t know we were lost!

I would like to say the first time was kindergarten yet we discovered each year and each teacher is a first time experience.  Sorry parents.  There are the milestones of being in elementary, moving to middle school and then up to high school.  Each time is a new experience.

Lets go back to kindergarten.  Even after a few years of pre-school immersion and early child focused classes,  school was a huge adjustment and learning curve for all of us.  Besides being able to cut, color, draw, paint and create little projects children that are attending kindergarten are now  expected to be able to:

  • have letter recognition,
  • write letters,
  • know the beginning sounds, 
  • have reading readiness (awareness of words going from left to right)
  • be attentive and follow directions
  • have polite social skills

  for description of each point – go to link

Wow!  My mother was a stay at home mom and these learning goals she  left to the teacher.  This was before kindergarten and pre-school!  Wanting to be better prepared myself I did have my children in a part-time pre-school and filled their time with other learning activities like early childhood music  and many socialization opportunities.  We also had a full schedule of our own activities and play learning.  Yet, when it came to school, we lacked the preparedness level expected of them.  I discovered that I had focused upon a different set of skills and apparently so did the pre-schools!

The first ugly thing to rear its head that became a huge distraction for us was behavior.  Yes parents in kindergarten.  A wake up call.  As a fresh new mom with beautiful and innocent children this was a nightmare and the last thing I expected.  We ran into bully kids, bully parents, bully teachers, bully secretaries, bully school principals.  No discrimination here!  Yet they all had one thing in common.  Each one was trying the best way they knew how to get their needs met.

I want to support kids in the best way I know how and that is through supporting parents, teachers and schools in finding new ways of integrating behavior awareness, that with practice, makes life easier and more fulfilling.  Therefore after the requests of the above mentioned meeting and to support my current classes I have begun this series of supportive tips.

My goal focus  is to present material to parents that would include the educators needs yet still include the parents perspective.   As I was hearing the needs expressed from the members of the school administration I was able to discriminate my parenting  needs without judgement either way.   Unique, yes and it will allow a rounded outlook that includes more equality.  

Parents stay in touch and find concrete solutions for supporting your children through tips and fall workshops.

Integrating the value of Shelter

Life Area:  Safety

Shelter is one of the basic human needs along with food and water.  It is a structure that protects you from the elements and gives you a place to live.  Notice your living space this week as though seeing it for the first time.  Walk through first with the intention of identifying what features bring you (or not) a sense of safety.   Walk through a second time and notice what features bring you peace (or not).  Walk through a third time and reflect on what you would like to change. 

Intimacy in relationships

Intimacy in relationships begins with an experience!   Intimacy begins with tenderness in our skill of  listening and ability for reflecting back.  It is our willingness to hear and not to only be heard.

  • How many of us want to be held and touched tenderly by our lovers?  
  • Why would our conversations be any different?  
  • Can you remember  a time when the tender kindness that went into your intimate touch was matched in your conversation with your lover?  When that tenderness is not in the conversation do you imagine them as your lover in that moment?
  • When was a time that you both shared anything with each  tenderly and felt accepted exactly as you are?

I believe it is more important to create an experience of intimate connection in conversation first before mastering the correctness of how to speak to each other.  Ever coach a couple only to hear one partner tell the other how it’s done?  Intimacy maker? No!    If you forget how it should be done and have the experience of intimate connection you are more apt to take chances, be creative  and develop your courage to tell each other what really matters.   This is when I experience couples commit to keep trying to hear what is meaningful in what the other person is trying to share.  If  you have to learn how to do it and get it right first, before the connection, it tells me that you are feeling frightened and need the safety of being right and getting your way at the expense of your partner.

Therefore with couples the primary focus is to walk them through a dialogue  dance that isn’t focused on how to do it.  It is focused on doing it and accepting whatever arises so that it is  easy for them to feel heard and understood.  This is when they feel safe to share important issues.  

Each partner is being coached to make the dialogue about themselves  to translate each story they bring up into being about themselves and never staying in the habit of  making it about the other person.  Talk is slowed down so that each partner can reflect and that the dialogue is never one-sided.  It means pausing to connect to what is being said before bringing up other issues so that both have a say.

It definitely isn’t for the faint hearted.  It is for couples wanting to work on their intimacy, vulnerability and grow their relationships to bring warm loving kindness and spiciness back into the experience.

This week I had an opportunity to stand beside and guide couples into their vulnerability to the point the veil of self protection  fell away.  From this place of deep meaning it is one of the most tender sweet spots to find oneself in.  By standers included!  You are where it really matters.   When couples commit to continue coming back to try and express in a way they both can be heard,  isolated behavior and fear looses its power, humor develops and it becomes easier.    This is when it becomes about the relationship and not about winning.  

Integrating the emotional and physical behaviors into ones own image of self

In private sessions with clients there is less distraction and the benefit can be  deepened awareness of their  own behavior.  This includes clarity  of how reactions are dependent on both thinking and locked in movement patterns.    The two are locked into behavior!

Clients searching for a change in their relationships will enjoy the simple movement techniques I introduce to increase their focus.   Some will begin to alternate between talking and movement sessions.  Both these types of sessions are designed to increase the success in their progress and are compatible.

Clients who come for improving their movement and reducing pain will find themselves integrating their emotional reactions that are  keeping them in their pain and strain.

Both types of clients discover physical movement and emotional reactions are married together in their reactions.  They come to know  the  value in  learning their automatic  habits.  If someone is able to observe their habits then there will be change.

One example is  a  client who discovered one of the largest muscles in their body and that they had not been using them.  They didn’t even know at first how to engage it!    This client originally came to improve their relationship connections.  To relieve their tension and increase their breathing patterns  I introduced small movements  for them to experience.  Afterwards  our sessions began to alternate between the two types of sessions, movement awareness and talking awareness.

They discovered a large muscle that was dormant and not being used.  They realized the strain that this put on their whole body in the effort to move in any activity.  They also realized they did not even know  how to activate this muscle.  There was no connection to the brain signals.

Then came  the awareness of  tension being held in another set of muscles.  The control that went into holding these muscles stopped any ability to  engage these new ones!  The control of this other set of muscles was directly related to emotional behavior!  The balance then came from intellectually knowing one is safe and supported to begin to release control.

I love my work!  When clients can experience their journey through learning techniques their journey is more concise and clear.  There is beauty in waking up the parts that have no brain awareness!  When this client stopped using these big muscles the brain lost the memory of it.  Therefore there is a disconnection until they relearn they have these muscles and  how to use it.  If they are not aware that they have stopped using it,  how will they even know about it?

This is something that cannot be learned through outside sources and activities. It takes a control environment of focused somatic learning.  

When the education stops change begin! 

Behavior is the art “man” has forgotten!

Have I ever told you how much I enjoy myself!   I have the best position in the world!  I watch workshop members integrate information and see change in them in as little as two hours.

In two seemingly separate workshops yesterday the members heard me say,  “If you don’t use it you lose it!” Both workshops are designed around personal exploration with the intention to increase the use of participants brains in a novel way.  One through movement to increase balance and the other relationship behavior.  We know our relationships are based upon behavior , yet when you consider movement, it too is a learned behavior!

The workshop members are looking for change and to improve their life abilities in some way.  Those only looking for reassurance that they have the answers already move on quickly to the next novel workshop.  Those who stay, do so as they are tired of seeking answers from external sources and are wanting sincere change.  They are willing to go beyond thinking about it and finding easy answers.  They are willing to explore and deepen their understand through practical experience.  That’s when the magic happens and brains mapping increases.  I see a shift in facial expressions, body posture and tone.  This is when tiredness turns into engagement, fear turns into contentment, and lack of supporting oneself turns into personal power of supporting oneself.

I also enjoy the verbal feedback that comes from participants. One of our workshops from yesterday explored deepening patterns of listening.  A practice of a simple pattern of steps was introduced with an explanation of how it was similar to a pattern used in other parts of our culture to increase safety.  At the end of the night one participant shared they had just spent the past weekend in a loving kindness meditation.  While listening to their teacher they had moments of  joyful surprise when what they heard was similar  to what they had been learning and practicing through our workshops together.

The difference for me is that our workshops are based upon the practical application:   to act from conscious action in the moment you are living the experience.  It is not a practice of  faith, tradition or spirituality. It is not the dogma.  It is a series of steps to recognize and  change behavior.   I believe it may support the art of living one’s faith!  Perhaps it is the bridge  to bring that loving kindness into a moment of action.

I know for myself  that  I can meditate until the cows come home and still my relationships interactions outside of the mediation space remain the same.   The experience is not translating into real life action.  Yet I notice that when I have the courage to listen first and then speak authentically and honestly,  the same quality of experience rises up within as when I have been in long mediation!

Have I ever told you how much I enjoy this? When I imagine the Japanese Zen artist drawing from a state of mediation and holding the calligraphy pen to draw the circle of life or the dot of awakened state,  I draw a comparison.  I know the behavioral pattern awareness and integration process  I share to be the pen.  My opinion is that they are the tool to increase skill levels of  behavioral action in the moment of living it.

Behavior is the art “man” has forgotten!

7 PROGRAM EVALUATIONS – AWAKING RELATIONSHIPS FOR COUPLES

Here are the results of seven evaluation forms filled out at the ending of a  Spring, 2013  4 workshop series on relationships for couples hosted by Renee Lindstrom, Inside Awareness – getting InTouch programs:

Program – 6/7 Exceeded expectations

Notes on Instructor:

  • Instructor was informative, gave excellent practical tips and tools!
  • I attended at first with a very vague idea of the philosophy.  I came away with a great explanation and much info to work with from this point on.
  • I learned a lot of useful skills and information.  It has dramatically improved our relationship.
  • It helped me instantly
  • There was a lot of information and understanding that came about over the 4 classes.

What do you like best about this centre?

2/7 This class! 5/7 didn’t fill out

Scale of 1 -5 (5-excellent) on the following qualities:

Organization                                                                      5, 3, 5, 4, 5, 5, 5

Enthusiasm                                                                        5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5

Personality and Professionalism                              5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5

Ability to convey their knowledge to you            5, 4, 5, 5, 5, 4, 5

Additional comments:

  • Instructor was able to provide structured information and still be flexible in adapting to the class.
  • Excellent Teaching

_____________________________________________

Integrating the value of Patience

Life Area:  Interdependence

 By practicing patience we can respond rather than react, and by doing so, stay centered and at peace.  Patience begins within one’s own mind by being at peace with mind stories.  This week make a practice of spending 5 minutes, twice a day to notice your thoughts without acting on them.  Commit to remaining silent and still while noticing how they travel through your mind or change when you don’t act upon them.  

:from getting InTouch 2013 Calendar by Inside Awareness for Healthy Lifestyles – Integrating Universal Values for Social Change

________________________________________________________