Tag Archives: Empathy

Attributes in relationships that work creatively

In relationships it is the quality in the experience that creates the space for someone to present as their best selves. Any type of relationship. This means that there are the attributes of respect, acknowledgement, appreciation, cooperation, participation, equality, fairness, trust, stability, to be seen to be heard, to be valued, responsibility, integrity, balanced give and take, empathy, compassion, kindness, equal giving and receiving, clarity, understanding, patience, acceptance, etc., etc. These above attributes are not a part of the interactions, or in the relationship overall if one dominants to get their needs met on the backs of others. The above attributes create inner connection and connection with others and in their absence, an environment of conflict is stimulated inside and outside. A lack of these attributes creates ill health and shifts the focus of attention into survival, fight or flight. If one is not heard, seen or valued chronically it can increase the ill health mentally, emotionally, physically, in the space and out into groups, and the community. Only someone who lacks these qualities in themselves, ie. lack of self respect, self appreciation, and self accountability, etc., would treat others with this base note behaviour. Why, if you respect yourself, you can respect others. If you hold yourself accountable, you will hold others accountable etc. It creates a value in the space surrounding you that people enter into. Time is better spent and more productive and efficient. People are speaking creativity and with innovation. Which direction is your motivation taking you and those around you? Are you elevating people into being their best self or are you dragging them down into your possible jealousy, hatred and greed?

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    • Introduction to transforming reactions into value focused connections
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    • Somatic Movement to increase physical, mental, and emotional function, health and well being
    • Clarity of  Environmental Stimulus to reduce blocks to health and wellbeing  

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by Renee Lindstrom
 1st Phase of Integration – Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
 2nd Phase of Integration – Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
 3rd Phase of Integration – Integration (Embodiment)

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Copyright 2014 – 2024 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP
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I was reminded of how sympathy can influence not being seen or heard

For me it is an experience of one merging their pain with an others.

Going into sympathy reflects merging old pain together with an others circumstances.

Let me explain.

In a circle with Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in 2004, he began demonstrating a deepened empathy pattern and I found myself curious about how some of us in the circle were independently holding the space and others where crying in sorrow.  I asked an advanced trainer who had worked with Dr. Rosenberg for many years about the differences in experience.  I was told that those who were not sobbing  didn’t have a similar pain as the person who was receiving empathy.  Those who were  had that same abuse in their lifetime that stimulated old pain.   Fortunately this intensive was to transition from moral judgments and right and wrong thinking.  This explanation was shared with clarity and as a matter of fact.  What I learned was that those identifying with the pain had an opportunity to heal themselves in witnessing the resolution in the person who was receiving empathy from Dr. Rosenberg.  The key was to feel their pain rise up and let their thoughts rest.  The skill was to resist  going into their own story that would hijack the circumstances away from the speaker.  I call this the ultimate witnessing ability.  (This is when you can stop yourself from hijacking someones story away from them and making it about you.)

Empathy practice, the NVC way, is to fully hear what someone is saying without interpreting it back through your past experiences and personal perspectives.  The only way someone is going to feel seen and heard is if you are able to listen to their words while being attentive to what you are hearing.  The following ways of habitually listening are not empathetic, instead they challenge the speaker.

  • Comparisons – telling your perspective or someone elses
  • Being an authority
  • Moral Judgments – no right and wrong, not speaking to what’s wrong with someone
  • Assessments
  • Diagnosis
  • Labeling
  • Criticizing
  • Coming up with solutions
  • Asking questions – your job is to listen, not understand

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Author or Nonviolent Communication
NVC – Nonviolent Communication

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 1st Level – Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
 2nd Level – Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
 3rd Level – Integration (Embodiment)

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2007 – 2020 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Taurus

This sensitive earth sign influences all five of our sensibilities; touch, taste, sight, sound and smell.  Taurus needs are for abundance, stability, support, loyalty, to be grounded and heard.

How behaviours of out of balance Taurus may manifest

Fear:  Poverty

Fear Response:  Obsession with Materialism

Common Aries out of balance emotional statements:

  • “You don’t deserve it!”
  • “You’re so stubborn!”
  • “You never listen to me!”
  • “I don’t feel heard!”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Taurus emotions  

 Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Taurus with “I hear you say…….….”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

 

.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Pisces environment – Awareness of Space

This earth sign is deeply sensitive to the environment and their needs are for luxury, comfort and  harmony.  A sign of the sensibilities their style will include visual and textured beauty such as expensive art and their preferred styles are  conservative and traditional.  More on Calming decor accents for out of balance Taurus behaviours.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

 

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

 

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Capricorn

Sign of Capricorn

The needs of Capricorn are for a successful career, balance in areas of home and work,  and freedom from being so serious and responsible.

How behaviours of out of balance Capricorn may manifest

Fear:  Failure

Fear Response:  Taking on too much responsibility

Common Capricorn out of balance emotional statements:

  • “It’s my way.”
  • “You have to work hard to achieve.”
  • “You’re making it hard.”
  • You’re a failure.”
  • “You/I have no credentials.”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal settingfoods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Capricorn emotions  

 Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Capricorn with “I hear……..you say, “….”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Capricorn  environment – Awareness of Space

Capricorns do best in organized and structured environments.  The materials best suited for this sign reflect earth tones, textures and qualities.  For example; wood, steel, stone and pottery.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is all about humour, honesty, integrity, truth, growth and prophecy.    Traits of this cardinal planet are self-control, personal empowerment, will power and transformation.

The needs of this sign are for learning, purpose, direction, commitment and a philosophy.

How behaviours of out of balance Sagittarius may manifest

Fear:  Being Trapped, Restricted

Fear Response:  Over doing it;  eating, talking loudly, adventures and over the top projects, and being domineering

Common Sagittarius out of balance emotional statements:

  • “Your wrong.”
  • “You knew I wasn’t ready to commit.”
  • “I feel trapped.”
  • “I know what you need!”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal setting, foods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Sagittarius emotions  

 Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Sagittarius  with, “You long for….. or you are seeking……”
EFFECTIVE LISTENING

.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Sagittarius  environment – Awareness of Space

  • Sagittarius likes comfort, collecting and travel.  Their spaces will be personal and meaningful, and filled with bold colours and  collectible objects.  It will reflect their love of learning, philosophy and adventure.
EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT

Book a personalized Coaching session for self, work, group or create a retreat – 250-361-7508

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Goals, Food, Movement & Life Style Updates

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

 

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Scorpio

Transformation of Scorpio

Scorpio  longs for intimacy, depth, sexual fulfillment, deep connections and a tribe.    Traits of this cardinal planet are self-control, personal empowerment, will power and transformation.

The needs of this sign are for honesty, acceptance, space, privacy and autonomy.

How behaviours of out of balance Scorpio may manifest

3rd Chakra oob emotions

Fear:  Rejection

Fear Response:  Bondage, Addiction

Common Scorpio  out of balance emotional statements:

  • They will be sorry!”
  • “(He/She will regret this!”
  • “Their history!”
  • “I can stop anytime.”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal setting, foods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Scorpio emotions  

 Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Scorpio’s  with, “You feel……”

EFFECTIVE LISTENING

.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)

COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Scorpio’s  environment – Awareness of Space

  • Scorpio’s is a sign of intensity which translates into their desired spaces.  Deep colours, artistic layouts  and a clear flow of energy.  Scorpios will thrive using the arts of Feng Shui.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT


Book a personalized Coaching session for self, work, group or create a retreat – 250-361-7508

Calendar

Goals, Food, Movement & Life Style Updates

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by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live

Six ways to balance emotions & reactive behaviours of Libra

Libra Balance

Libra longs for love and beautiful relationships and as an air element it heralds in the wings of change.  Traits of this cardinal planet are action, self-motivated, insightful and ambitious therefore change can reflect balance.

The needs of this sign are for acceptance, beauty, love, and a partner.

How behaviours of out of balance Libra may manifest

Fear:  Ugliness

Fear Response:  People Pleasing

Common Libra out of balance emotional statements:

  • “What do you think I should do?”
  • “What will people think if I …….?”
  • “You’re not being fair!”
  • “I wouldn’t treat you that way.”
  • “I look (fat, ugly, awful….)!”

In earlier posts three ways of supporting this sign focused upon daily goal setting, foods to support emotional balance and physical movement.

3 additional ways to balance Libra emotions  

 Empathy – Awareness through Listening

  • Self empathy and empathy for others can be as easy as learning to listen effectively (replacing habitual reactive responses)
  • Begin empathy feedback for Libra’s  with, “You think……”

EFFECTIVE LISTENING

.  Language of connection – Awareness through Communication

  • Can be as easy as learning to turn separation into moments of connection (stop,right/wrong, blame, shame and critical statements)

COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

#3.  Balance and calm Libra’s environment – Awareness of Space

  • Libra’s  thrive in clean, ordered, stress-free and peaceful environments.

EFFECTIVE ENVIRONMENT


Book a personalized Coaching session for self, work, group or create a retreat – 250-361-7508

Calendar

Goals, Food, Movement & Life Style Updates

Follow the Journey on TwitterInstagram or Facebook


by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
 & Renee Lindstrom Live