So your single and it’s Valentines, the 2nd highest day of the year on record for the most wedding proposals.

Feeling sad, glad or mad? Are your needs for companionship, romance, warm-heartedness and to be cherished?  What will you do about it?  Act all depressed about it and mope the day away or find your inner strong-self and get love active!

Have fun and plan your valentine’s day to learn how you would like to be treated by your future love interest.

1.  Start with flowers.  Do you know about the secret language of flowers?  In Victorian times flowers were famously used to set the tone in novels and set up qualities in gardens and homes.   Did you know the symbology of Arbutus is “you’re the only one I love?”  See more on plant symbolism.  ,  A Victorian Flower Dictionary: The Language of Flowers Companion.
2. Next find the perfect card (or make one).  Forget e-cards!  Spend time browsing through cards at a local shop or spend time  creating the perfect love affirmation for yourself!  If you want to be loved in any particular way, it begins with you loving yourself in that particular way and creating your own love expectations.
3. Investigate local activities in your community!  Don’t be shy, be bold and take a friend to check it out for your romance meter. Do you have one? If you don’t know what love  qualities you like to experience, you can’t expect someone to pop up and create if for you! If you want romance, learn romance!
4. Investigate your local area and rate restaurants, parks, sites, pubs and activities so that you have resources to draw upon when the time is right.  Rather that saying, “I don’t know!”, you will know exactly the experience you want to create with a potential valentine date!
5. Explore music, wine, drinks, food and desserts and know which ones express themselves romantically.  Yes meals do set up the experience.  Be prepared with what food appeal to you romantically so you can drop hints at the right time!  Meanwhile have fun finding you your love muse!

In Victorian times society’s model had events that put  boys and girls together for finding the best suitors.  Friendships, romance and relationships were societies central focus and through this single focus then things of importance relevant to family, business and government would be a part of the dialogue.

Today the pattern has shifted and the center of our focus is not on families, relationships and romance.  It  is focused on education,  business and politics.  A model that centers on learning personal relationships is missing and forgotten!  We are ignorant to our romantic and relationships needs that create healthy and interdependent partnerships.  Let’s change that!  Stop being downhearted about being single and take advantage of this time.  Create your own centered learning focus about what is meaningful to you.  After-all how can you teach your partner what you don’t know?

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Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,