One aspect of becoming ‘kid free’ is the memory clips that stream by now that this parent has more time to reflect and consider past family patterns and behaviors.
A pattern that influenced us all was the choice to demand feed these babies. At the time being new parents I didn’t realize that many times these babies wanted reassurance and nurturing versus being hungry.
My regret now is not recognizing that the interactions between mom and dad had been creating an emotional need versus a physical need that led to a demand for constant snacking throughout difficult times of change. Held in check when small through food choices, however as parents separated exploded.
If I where to recommend new parents or had the opportunity to repeat this earliest stage of breast-feeding I would do things differently. I would still breast feed, however, I would set up a schedule of times for feeding and stick to it. In those moments of seeking the breast in between, I would find other was of nurturing baby! I would coach new parents on how to reassure baby through those times of tiredness and discomfort in parents resolving their unmet needs!
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Center for Inside Awareness 