As 2015 came to a close my last child made a change that left me without the responsibility of being a parent of a newly aged out teenager! Prior to moving out we worked for 4 and one-half months to transition our relationship though many conversations. Some heated, yet all meaningful and forgiving.
This turned out to be fortunate for me, as many of the hidden issues that did not find resolution with my first child, found completion and/or resolution with this one. This is not to say I was happy with some of the strategies this child took to meet their need for freedom in making their own choices and mistakes. However, they heard my discontent and I heard their need for autonomy. In these difficult dialogues both of us realized that the most important value for both of us was our relationship and love for each other. Whew! This meant I was ready and excited about my lifescape changing and for being kid-free for the first time in 23 years!
Having my last born move out of the nest has been a major environmental change for me, mom! The first thing than organically changed was my diet. No more breads, cookies, cakes, crackers and sweet treats from their job! No more late night runs to fast food outlets to sedate their cravings born of emotional ups and downs.
Both my children’s *emotional eating ballooned with the separation and subsequent divorce of their parents and eventually they aged into supporting their habits through working part-time jobs!
Now, having my kitchen to myself with no influences and the burden of others desires food and eating has taken on a new meaning and value to me. Slowly the kitchen became friendly again and not an obstacle. It had become an obstacle over time with not having the freedom to enjoy buying food that appealed to me. Each food choice and purchase was a debate with this child. Food was no longer a friend and was simply endured and a source of cravings! Food had become an enemy and an addiction.
One of the pillars in the programs with Inside Awareness is an environmental component. How the landscape sets you up and supports success or failure! It is one of three primary focuses for consideration in any life change. The landscape holds the lifestyle pattern and for success the pattern needs to be re-cut. The three patterns to consider in any lifestyle change are:
- Emotional (Mind/Feelings)
- Physical (Body Health & Vigor)
In my food story the landscapes immediate change organically supported an integrated shift in my approach to eating. Not having any unnecessary and unhealthy food close by it was easier to stop grazing on unhealthy food all day long and concentrate on healthy meals during the day at set times. This meant that there was an opportunity to feel true hunger and not a craving which allowed more rest in my physical digestive tract. The outcome of this was more vigor and energy that organically resulted in being more active and getting things done with more ease.
From this perspective it is a balanced approach with room for deepened connection to somatic changes and lifestyle integration versus pushing through change with effort. It is a learning process that integrates un-learning (changing habits) without attaching to the moral judgments of others or one-self! Making these changes myself I notice that I can be more honest in talking with students and clients about loosing weight. There is a deeper natural empathy.
#emotional eating – never feeling full, drinking energy and sugar drinks, eating non-stop, diet of: treats, fast food, carbs and chocolate
Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Value-Based Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2000, Founder of Greater Victoria Peace & Intercultural Celebrations since 2010 & Greater Victoria Labyrinths since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Calendar Founder – 2014 & 2015