I wrote a blog post with the following paragraphs that I want to highlight and bring attention to. It is in an article on aging. Through the experience of working with an age range focused on the interconnectedness of mental, emotional and physical behaviours with the intent to increase functions this topic plays out in one’s abilities for tolerance and flexibility. When people age it is presented in one’s appearance to those who have a trained eye.
Here goes:
What makes a common person an authority I wonder. It demonstrated their limited worldview and yetthese people would normally consider themselves fair-minded, non-judgemental, non-racist, โand societal leaders in the community through their careers and interests. These outbursts on someone elseโs character due to the comparisons destroyed the self-image they were portraying in their communities.
This is an experience โI have in real-time with real interactions in a state of being conscious of it while it is actively being enacted out. I can choose to disengage fully and pull energy back or engage on some level of connection between theโsโe โstages in states of aloofness or full-on engagement. As a healer, teacher, coach and mentor I have learned to become selective in whom I engage with and the effort I put in. It has become an inner sensing of whether the interactive experience will be life-enriching or life-draining. My objective is to cultivate awareness and learning opportunities so I usually choose to move away from life-draining conditions when there is no opening for change. When there is an openness for change the effort is stimulating and enhances life, however, when thereโs a lack of openness based upon corrupt and hidden views and actions the effort carries a struggle that creates diseased thinking, emotions, bodies and spirituality (cults).
As a somatic and empathic practitioner, teacher, coach and mentor some patterns have shown themselves over 25 years that are relevant to include in the cultural soup for consideration and future development. These have my unique perspective as they mirror the dominant somatic, empathic heart-centered filter I have for interpreting incoming information of environmental stimuli.
This perspective has been a focus of attention in the integrative studies in learning groups and sessions. It is a topic that will be featured more in-depth through the mentoring programs @ Inside Awareness and in conversations and articles. Subscribe to stay InTouch and connect to new material and opportunities, or follow Renee on social media. Hit like if you enjoy content.
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, and Functional Integrationยฎ,ย are registered service marks of theย Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ
Listening is an action of hearing the sounds in the surroundings.ย This includes other peopleโs voices. Hearing what others are saying is a way to get to know what is important to them and to learn from them.ย
Remember Dialogues definition from last week:
Dialogue is a conversation with others that increases understanding, addresses problems, and questions thoughts and actions.
Dialogue and Listening are needed to have a balanced conversation of meaning. This balance brings success and achievement for all in relationships equally. When someone speaks they are leading the conversations and the listener is following.To have equality the speaker becomes the listener. This means the listener becomes the speaker.Leadership is a balance of giving and receiving in dialogue.
This pattern was developed from a talking circle. The format was to go around and ask each participant what the focused value word meant to them. Sometimes a definition from the dictionary was read out first. People often did not know the definition meaning. โRenee Lindstromโ
I do not often use the word addictions. Only recently have I used it in my posts. I don’t let it influence my personal or group lessons. It is such a distracting word with so many changing definitions and a word that is normally very personal to the person speaking it into life, or listening to someone else speaking it to life. What I focus on is the instinct that turns one towards an addictive quality. For me the instinct is triggered by survival. An easy example is sex. Sex is a basic need in the base level of needs along with water, food, shelter, air. If someone is operating under anxiety, stress, fear, or anger emotions it will trigger an instinctual reaction. In this example it would be self soothing through basic intercourse without much meaning, other than relief. However, the urge in the gut is often still there during and after. If one increases sleep patterns, eats healthy, and starts to experience self fulfilling needs being met, including meaningful relationships, the instinctual need to self sooth shifts as the survival instinct diminishes. This doesn’t mean one loses their sex drive, it just shifts it into more meaningful interactions. This self soothing example can be replaced with the actions of gambling, drinking, drugs, smoking, food, etc. Often the focus is on the label – addiction, which can shift the mind focus to the past behaviour, memories, or blaming and shaming self and others. If one can capture the moment, there is a felt sense of the instinct that is felt prior to going into the habit of reacting to it. This is a moment to observe what just happened. (Something is happening in the moment of the trigger.) This can be the point of change. Notice the trigger and instead of going into the strategy for self soothing, one can process the trigger and create inner balance. This is an important skill development. Leaving it unchecked creates a type of random chaos either by oneself, or others who have clued in on how to keep one in the agitated state. (Yes, common strategy for others is to redirect someoneโs focus of attention to get their own needs met). The person who introduced this to me, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., used an example of eating. Often when people become uncomfortable, they will reach for food. He would suggest the person reaching for food to stop and ask themselves if they are hungry, or if something else was instead gnawing at them. Usually, they are not hungry, and this pause to check in is enough to shift the experience to talking about whatever it is that instigated the action of reaching for food. It could be as simple as being asked an uncomfortable question. The trigger is inner conflict. If you disagree with someone, it can cause inner conflict. If you hear a hard to hear message, it can create inner conflict. If someone tries to control you it can cause inner conflict. etc., etc.
LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:
Learning opportunities:
Integrating personal and group values to create a point of connection in relationships and environment
Introduction to transforming reactions into value focused connections
Integrating values through intention
Integrating values through the environment
Somatic Movement to increase physical, mental, and emotional function, health and wellbeing
Clarity of Environmental Stimulus to reduce blocks to health and wellbeing
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, Functional Integrationยฎ, are registered service marks of the Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ
In relationships it is the quality in the experience that creates the space for someone to present as their best selves. Any type of relationship. This means that there are the attributes of respect, acknowledgement, appreciation, cooperation, participation, equality, fairness, trust, stability, to be seen to be heard, to be valued, responsibility, integrity, balanced give and take, empathy, compassion, kindness, equal giving and receiving, clarity, understanding, patience, acceptance, etc., etc. These above attributes are not a part of the interactions, or in the relationship overall if one dominants to get their needs met on the backs of others. The above attributes create inner connection and connection with others and in their absence, an environment of conflict is stimulated inside and outside. A lack of these attributes creates ill health and shifts the focus of attention into survival, fight or flight. If one is not heard, seen or valued chronically it can increase the ill health mentally, emotionally, physically, in the space and out into groups, and the community. Only someone who lacks these qualities in themselves, ie. lack of self respect, self appreciation, and self accountability, etc., would treat others with this base note behaviour. Why, if you respect yourself, you can respect others. If you hold yourself accountable, you will hold others accountable etc. It creates a value in the space surrounding you that people enter into. Time is better spent and more productive and efficient. People are speaking creativity and with innovation. Which direction is your motivation taking you and those around you? Are you elevating people into being their best self or are you dragging them down into your possible jealousy, hatred and greed?
Learning opportunities:
Learning opportunities:
Integrating personal and group values to create a point of connection in relationships and environment
Introduction to transforming reactions into value focused connections
Integrating values through intention
Integrating values through the environment
Somatic Movement to increase physical, mental, and emotional function, health and well being
Clarity of Environmental Stimulus to reduce blocks to health and wellbeing
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, Functional Integrationยฎ, are registered service marks of the Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ
A crescent moon is the best time to commit to oneโs ย intentions, hopes, and wishes for the Lunar Month.ย This is the timeย to write your goals on paper or to begin a journal!
Inspired Goal Setting follows the Moon’s path as a reference to create harmony and ease with references on how to apply to oneโs calendar of monthly and daily goals. ย It supports making one’s goals more doable and moreย achievable!
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This program considers importance of ย waning and waxing moon cycles! ย
What is being said about Inspired Goal Setting Workbooks:
Thank you for this gift, Renee
I can imagine ways to use it to help me stay focused on my healing.ย There are so many parts to it (exercise, foods and supplements, braces, and other supports, mental attitude, etc) that I find it hard to remember it all every day.ย I think your method will really help.ย Judy
Iโve REALLY enjoyed working with this tool so far!ย I am using it to set โgoalsโ for my own self. B
I have enjoyed the small piece of sharp focus. ย B
The Next Steps to making and keeping your goals are:
Understand YOUR FEELINGS and INTEGRATE a UNIVERSAL language of connection!
Stop letting your feelings control your actions. ย Learn to identify the root source of your feelings and integrate a universal language through building your own vocabulary of values!
Turn your moral judgments into value based judgments so others want to hear you!
InTouch Communication Icon
Inside Awareness has created 45 Value Need Cards to use as a personal check in to Integrate Universal values.
Naming what is meaningful to you helps others become willing to hear you
Values grow awareness of behavior actions and reactions
Values in one’s vocabulary increases autonomy, self-esteem and confidence
If feelings are the spiral inward, naming ย the values are at the center and the ย point of connection with others.
ย Authored ย Achieving your Goals ย 31 Day Program, Sleep Sweet Sleep, Kidโs Peace Bus Calendar of Values ย Educational Program & InTouch with Your Values Self-Actualization Program.Feldenkraisยฎ Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement ย since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Childrenโs Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015
Yesterday when the person who had wanted dandelions didn’t show up to harvest them, I decided to go out myself and get started. ย An area that was originally grass had become weed filled when I ย let the neighbors invasive Saint John’s Wort move in. ย Digging up never-ending weeds has been a challenge and now I felt lucky to have someone who wanted to harvest the dandelions.
As I began digging Iย noticed wild onions and had to stop to taste them. ย Then I began to separate them from the weeds along with the dandelions. ย Then came the baby thistle, then the plantain and finally the fennel. ย Weeding wasn’t weeding anymore! ย It became a gathering experience. ย Each one had to be tasted periodically too.
Once washed and laid out to dry the volume was appreciated. ย A small 3 x 4 foot patch reaped a table full of greens for tea’s, salad’s, oils flavored vinegar, poultice’s and creams. ย Well, actually too much was eaten. ย The first harvest and I couldn’t get enough.
When this gal I mentioned earlier came by to pick up her dandelions, ย we stood chatting. ย We began eating the leaves off the Saint John Wort and that’s when ย it hit me. ย What I hadn’t been able to see that is. ย What I did see caused much angst and I was blocked from seeing the treasures that were actually there. ย They were not hidden, I just wasn’t able to see them! ย My focus was on my kids, business and time. ย I told myself I didn’t have time and ย yet needed it to look a certain way for my business. What a loss. ย I imagine now, had I shared this knowledge with my kids they would have had real-time with me and learned something more valuable than doing chores. ย So busy being busy. ย Ouch!
Renee is an appreciative and proud mother of two young adults. ย One child introduced her to the experience of unconditional love and the other to the inner power and beauty of being aย woman!