In a recent conversation with an elder I was able to reflect back from the spoken words I was hearing, “It seems that vanity hasn’t aged along with you.” “Yes,” was the reply., “vanity tells me that I am ugly.”
Later in the day I became curious about this experience and how and when this shifted for me. When did I stop giving power to vanities harsh words of criticism spoken in my head? It wasn’t that long ago. I wondered what changed? Spontaneously I connected to the sense of self-love inside. I realized at some point the depth of self-love surpassed the value I placed upon vanities words in my head. The scale had tipped in self-loves favour and the criticisms of vanity don’t carry the weight they once did. This is a celebration. At some point in the practical application of my practice there has been a shift in the dialogue in my head and body. My heart speaks the loudest and demonstrates that self directed sense of love.
In my conversation with the elder I hoped my intonation came from this heartfelt experience so it had a soft landing. My intention – not to increase their own moral judgements.
What is your vanity telling you? Has your vanity criticism shown any acceptance of your aging?
The only way to change is action
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‘People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.’ Earl Nightingale
Change begins with the ability to recognize it.
Recognition begins with courage to pause and focus on one’s experience.
Transformation is the willingness to explore how it could be different.
A personal focus of how the experience could be different equals change.
Fear, pain, lethargy and withdrawal are debilitating. These feelings enable one’s ridgid patterns that create hopelessness and deepen their grip. These stuck patterns are limiting and very often unconscious behaviours that create the tone to how one experiences their day. Successful transformation is possible through one’s willingness to connect to inner intention and corresponding outside actions.
Retraining focus of attention
Cultivating awareness of one’s actions in the moment begins with a intentional focus of observing oneself prior to reacting.
Focusing on sensing actions in real time is the true experience. The truth of what is happening is lost when focus shifts away from the moment. It becomes an opinion or a perspective based upon memory. Some examples:
shame & blame
right & wrong thinking
punishment & reward
hierarchy
denial of responsibility
demands
comparisons
moral judgements
diagnosis, or assessments
labelling
expectations
The only way to change is action
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Conversation is an equal opportunity and shared experience
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Awareness through Communication has helped relationships in the life areas of:
Resolving Differences
Love & Intimacy
Parenting
Partnerships
Personal Development
Grief and Loss
Improving workplace relationships with peers, employees and clients
Finding common goals to create live enriching outcomes for all parties
Creating a foundation for learning
Awareness through Spoken Word integrates well and supports:
Feldenkrais®, Feldenkrais Method®, Awareness Through Movement®, Functional Integration®, are registered service marks of the Feldenkrais Guild® of North America. Feldenkrais Method®
Are you curious enough to consider which energy you are feeding?
Culturally there is a global shift taking place
This global shift needs a focus of our attention that goes beyond the basic considerations for humanity introduced in our earlier post, Contrary to popular sentiments, life will not return to pre-covid experiences. Going beyond these basics of COVID reactive behaviours could be an actively considering which monkey one is feeding. Is it the monkey that is open to the listening and understanding the differences among us to increase inclusiveness of all needs and not those of just one person? Or, is it the monkey of only one unique perspective and opinion. One is an open system the is flexible and resilient and the other is a closed system that is rigid. One is life rewarding and the other life draining.
Are you open to co-creating and re-building a new cultural structure for these times or will the same old pre-COVID cultural behaviours still apply to you? Those old conflict making behaviours that eliminate listening to others perspectives because you already know the answers before hearing their input.
The status quo of behaviour pre-COVID was created through the modelling of leadership. Political and corporate leaders and trends. These elements of leadership have an agenda of control that excludes co-creation through its very nature and existence. The focus is on having followers not innovators.
Moving forward through leadership that includes the best cultural experience for all into consideration begins within each of us individually. It starts from the inside out and transforms habits of thinking about what’s wrong with what is outside (with others and circumstances) and focuses attention on an inner question and observation of who we in the moment. How often have you noticed behaving the very same way you may have hated in others, or do you observe things in others but not in yourself?
What self leadership intentions have you applied to yourself for this COVID transformational year ahead?
The coming year, 2021 starts without the distraction of travel, community socializing, external career moves, spiritual and educational travel, visiting family and outside entertainment. It does however have the opportunity to transform these external distraction into intimate and meaningful self-discoveries.
if we long to be healthy
is this reflected in physical patterns of movement and nutritional values for our individual body parts, through conversations in our relationships, and in our behaviour in the environment
This example of what it is to self-discover one health is at the core of our experiences and it is the foundation to our reactive nature. Our outside experience is a reflection of what is going on inside. It controls our active thought patterns, our movement, emotions and perspective. Change out inner and our outer will be actively different. The first step is to learn about yourself in a way that is progressive and in the moment, and not focused on the past.
One cannot live in the past at the boardroom table making decisive choices for influencing today’s success.
One cannot live in the past when in the active experience of responding to their child in the moment and achieve a bond.
One cannot live in the past in the midst of connecting intimately with their partner and achieve a vulnerable connection.
What if 2021 included learning systems that are in the moment actively mindful. Cultivating awareness through lessons that guide one through practical steps to increase hope, connection and that can be integrated as they focus on autonomy and the true experience in the moment. This means acceptance through inclusion of what’s right for you and what’s right for me without diagnosis, analysis and moral judgements.
The only way to change is action
Ways for exploring mindfulness in active function rooted in the practical integration of Tibetan Buddhist Meditation
Awareness through Communication – Western Mind integrating Eastern Mindful Practice
Awareness through Movement – Retraining Brain beyond western & eastern mind
Awareness through Space – Landscape and emotional, mental and physical function
Feldenkrais®, Feldenkrais Method®, Awareness Through Movement®, Functional Integration®, are registered service marks of Feldenkrais Guild® of North America. Feldenkrais Method®
After 10 months of COVID experiences there is a new normal
Some new behaviours have been created in the 10 months of COVID regardless of one’s beliefs. New habits have been created in those who actively socially distanced and wore masks. For those who wore them it has now become second nature, while it continues to be a source of conflict for those who have resisted these safety measure .
These differing perspectives have divided community members and nurtured deeper separation amongst us. Two simple measures that began as personal courtesies quickly became enforced rules. This has divided family, friends and community members.
Some of us are relieved by these two simple measures as it meets our needs for safety and freedom, while it doesn’t meet the needs for autonomy and freedom for some. Our differences can separate us or bring us together. This following example demonstrates how it has separated us.
In recent news out of Vancouver there was a story of a Policeman’s leg being broken by someone refusing to wear a mask. This is ten months into COVID. Imagine the rage this person has harboured inside for the past 10 months!
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While a part of our community has struggled with staying at home and adopting new safety measures, others have pivoted and emerged as innovators. COVID has caused businesses to shut down while some great new ideas for businesses has emerged. New leadership has surfaced to support the community or accidently led to successful makeovers. One great example is at local news station, Chek News. The sports and weather announcers had to pivot and go out on the road which has not only been successful for them, it has supported the community in a way that could not be predicted. Two of the announcers won awards for their 2020 contributions. Accidental leadership!
The differences of those who fight change and those who create change are unmasked now after 10 months of COVID. The energy of these two expressive differences is tangible. The naysayers and those wanting it to go back the way it was suck the aliveness of motivation out a room. It feeds disconnection, while those inspired by change increase the motivation in the room and create connection. These are qualities of experience that have been around for centuries! That hasn’t changed.
What has changed is our lifestyle. We shop online now for all our needs like groceries, furniture and gifts forcing brick and mortar businesses to adopt to this new normal. We order food and have it delivered versus going out to eat forcing restaurants to pivot. We have stopped international travel and now explore our own country and communities. Parents were forced to put their children first over their own careers, adventures and self care. Rather than paying a community to support the parents lifestyle, the focus of attention has returned to the family unit. Consider the changes you have made in your lifestyle?
When Dr. Bonnie Henry announced this week that, “… by summer we could all go back to normal if we took measures now, ” I had already reached my own tipping point of being tolerant for these type of statements. Why? It is never going back to the way it was. There is a new normal now. The question is, are we resilient to change? Can we enjoy the journey or fight it?
The only way to change is action
Ways for exploring mindfulness in active function rooted in the practical integration of Tibetan Buddhist Meditation
Awareness through Communication – Western Mind integrating Eastern Mindful Practice
Awareness through Movement – Retraining Brain beyond western & eastern mind
Awareness through Space – Landscape and emotional, mental and physical function
Feldenkrais®, Feldenkrais Method®, Awareness Through Movement®, Functional Integration®, are registered service marks of Feldenkrais Guild® of North America. Feldenkrais Method®
These two videos visually support learning points that I support my students to integrate through movement using guided micromovements in a particular way of exploration. I encourage my students now to watch both of these videos to imprint the visual stimulus for growing envisioning techniques with a focus on transitions of the body’s moving parts.
Why is this important?
Watch this video again, however this time, raise your gaze up towards the hip joints at the top outside of the legs. Notice the weight being dispersed equally side to side with no effort. The movement appears to be dance like in the flow of easy counterbalance motions.
If you continue to observe the video again you may begin to view how lite the legs are with each step. With each separate step the legs response in a similar way as the feet. Using the ability to shift weight this way with through the bone the also shifts forward and back, and side to side. This is why bones have rounded ends into rounded joints.
Remember that the individual leg bones shift weight differently, in any given moment, as a response to the pressure in the foot. For example, the standing leg that bears ones weight is locked at the ankle, knee and hip when the other leg bends at the ankle, knee and hip.
Mentoring micromovement patterns in community learning groups I have observed that one of the biggest culprits to mobility is the loss of this natural counterbalance. In an earlier post I write about the hidden influences in our environment that are silent systems of learning interrupting these natural movements. I believe it started with sitting for long periods of time having a locked focus of attention in one area of function only. I have discovered the outcome to sitting for long periods creates a gap in one’s brain of the natural movement patterns through the bones of ones pelvis, hips, upper and lower legs, knees, angles and feet.
You will see the differences in how these people walk in this second video. In this video they are mostly picking up their feet and not using the ground to push off like the person in the first video.
Begin watching this video with a focus on noticing how both people lift their feet up and hold them in a straight blank like way. This takes an extreme amount of muscle effort which becomes more difficult to continue as one ages.
On second viewing begin to notice their hips. Both people do not have any sway that demonstrates counterbalance through their legs, hips and pelvis. Both of them have one side where the hip seems to bounce hard in the socket of a locked pelvis. Almost as though wearing an artificial leg. As a Feldenkrais® practitioner I observe a stumble like action.
Watch one more time and lift your gaze upward to observe turned heads. Each person is looking at the other in a state of intent focus on mental processing. There is no evident counter balance through the upper body. What I see is a locked torso that begins at the base of their neck. It is a much different pattern of walking than in the first video.
I would describe the first video as effortless and the second one as having tremendous effort.
In the first video the pattern of movement reflects what each toddler has learned in order to roll over, sit up, stand, walk and run. In the second video the pattern of movement reflects what happens through the silent learning patterns in institutional learning systems – sitting in a chair to focus on tasks and memorization. Both these learning systems reflect right and left brain activities. They are both relevant to a healthy and productive life, however there is no balance of both systems. The silent organic and inherent one each of us was born with was replaced by the non-organic one created by our ancestors.
Models of learning are around us starting at birth and continuing into old age. One never stops learning from the influences surrounding us. These boards are an example of a learning model that imprints rotations patterns of movement for those who are having chunky movements and balance issues. Using these boards at set times throughout the day can enhance integration of the movement pattern, especially if one cultivates awareness of different shifts in weight. This pattern of micromoving can reduce inflammation and pain, and increase circulation.
Prior to COVID I would introduce new patterns of movements in ones facial features using touch to ease pain and or anxiety. Due to COVID and masks this is not available now. This has sent me on on a quest to discover ways to engage students to focus attention on these areas themselves. One solution has led to testing an aventurine stone roller for the face. I chose this natural stone for it’s qualities. If you are interested in the metaphysics of stones, this one is associated with the heart chakra and calming thoughts. However physically it is associated with calming the skin and being a natural anti-inflammatory.
After only a few days I am noticing a difference in the tone of my muscles along my jaw, in my cheeks and inner eyebrows. At first I was surprised to feel the tension and size of these muscles through the rollers feedback. The muscles along the inner eyebrow seemed inflamed and achy. This was important feedback to my own muscle behaviour.
The stone is cool to the touch and these is surprisingly enjoyable. As it warms up through rolling the skin and muscles become more pliable. For these reasons I strongly recommend this product to my students who are managing pain and anxiety, and for anyone managing TMJ and/or teeth issues, migraine headaches, eyestrain and ear and throat issues.
Researching this roller took some time as these past years the quality of stones being marketed look questionable. I found many inexpensive aventurine stone rollers being marketed as Jade yet they do not look in appearance to be Jade nor do they look authentic. The colouring, depth and weight of this roller is aventurine. Find it on Amazon (affiliate link) if you are interested in giving it a go.
Inside Awareness Center for Integrative Somatic Learning 