Category Archives: Cultivating Awareness

Attributes in relationships that work creatively

In relationships it is the quality in the experience that creates the space for someone to present as their best selves. Any type of relationship. This means that there are the attributes of respect, acknowledgement, appreciation, cooperation, participation, equality, fairness, trust, stability, to be seen to be heard, to be valued, responsibility, integrity, balanced give and take, empathy, compassion, kindness, equal giving and receiving, clarity, understanding, patience, acceptance, etc., etc. These above attributes are not a part of the interactions, or in the relationship overall if one dominants to get their needs met on the backs of others. The above attributes create inner connection and connection with others and in their absence, an environment of conflict is stimulated inside and outside. A lack of these attributes creates ill health and shifts the focus of attention into survival, fight or flight. If one is not heard, seen or valued chronically it can increase the ill health mentally, emotionally, physically, in the space and out into groups, and the community. Only someone who lacks these qualities in themselves, ie. lack of self respect, self appreciation, and self accountability, etc., would treat others with this base note behaviour. Why, if you respect yourself, you can respect others. If you hold yourself accountable, you will hold others accountable etc. It creates a value in the space surrounding you that people enter into. Time is better spent and more productive and efficient. People are speaking creativity and with innovation. Which direction is your motivation taking you and those around you? Are you elevating people into being their best self or are you dragging them down into your possible jealousy, hatred and greed?

Learning opportunities:

  • Learning opportunities:
    • Integrating personal and group values to create a point of connection in relationships and environment
    • Introduction to transforming reactions into value focused connections
    • Integrating values through intention
    • Integrating values through the environment
    • Somatic Movement to increase physical, mental, and emotional function, health and well being
    • Clarity of  Environmental Stimulus to reduce blocks to health and wellbeing  

Connect to inquire about your personal or group needs


The only way to change is action

Conversation is an equal opportunity and  shared experience



by Renee Lindstrom
 1st Phase of Integration โ€“ Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
 2nd Phase of Integration โ€“ Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
 3rd Phase of Integration โ€“ Integration (Embodiment)

Follow the journey on TwitterInstagram or Facebook

Copyright 2014 โ€“ 2024 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, Functional Integrationยฎ, are registered service marks of the Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ

Functional Movement – Legs up the wall

This photo gallery focuses on legs up the wall to sense movements in ones leg joints without bearing weight. These movement patterns are for cultivating awareness using the model of Feldenkrais which is a somatic technique that can harnesses one’s potential to increase physical, mental and emotional fitness. These patterns of movement are ones I have personally witness not being accessed in all ages from elementary ages through to elder stages of life. The culprit? The chair.ย 

These movement tips can support movement in ones hip joints with freedom from upper body weight.

Upcoming in person Victoria Awareness through Movement Lesson Series & Workshops

See Renee for personal Functional Integration Sessions

Follow the journey onย Twitter

Copyright 2014 โ€“ 2024 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, Functional Integrationยฎ, are registered service marks of Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ

Outsmarting a gas lighter

One of the hardest behaviours to observe in coaching is witnessing someone attached to another for what they can get from them rather than what they can contribute. I have noticed that when the focus is not on creating an authentic connection its purpose is on creating a disconnection inside the others person’s mind where they hope to receive some personal gain. Sometimes it’s for competition as they don’t want to see the other succeed, or to gain monetarily and receive support, or simply not wanting to be abandoned in whatever addictions they share. Only a few times I have witnessed it be from hatred and rage or a belief the other person is not smart or good enough. Qualities that cannot be hidden from an empath.

I have witnessed gaslighting someone is never for the qualities of love like appreciation, respect, or empathy. It seems that once the cycle starts it quickly turns into entitlement or ownership of the other. People doing the gaslighting don’t get how these controlling behaviours are easily identifiable and visibly recognizable, especially by an empath. It’s felt emotionally by the person they are gaslighting however witnesses can easily observe the mental manipulation. The gaslighting is like mind control, or a false reality. It is very destructive and harmful. In some situationships it can last for years where the experiences become dark, lonely, and painful. The person on the receiving end either doesn’t seem to recognize it at first or they believe it will change.

Most people don’t go into relationships with the expectation to be on the receiving end of this type of behaviour so can be naive to it. An element of human conditioning is to trust. Initially a common reaction to it is shock, surprise, freezing or fighting back. Once the behaviour is habituated it seems to be internalized by the receiver where is transforms into feelings and damaging beliefs related to self-worth. Regardless of these fight, flight or freeze reactions they can be purposely stimulated for controlling the actions of someone to stop them from moving forward and acting. Over time the person being manipulated is noticeably drained, stressed, angry or depressed and often will seek artificial stimulants to cope.

Often the person on the receiving end of this manipulative behaviour will believe there is something wrong with them from the feelings that are stimulated by the gas lighter. Gas lighting often interferes with the receiverโ€™s connection to what is meaningful and their values by creating doubts. Long-term reactions to this are a lack of self-esteem, self-value, and confidence. The joy for me in these over-the-top situationships has been integrating somatic learning models that cannot be manipulated due to the very nature of focusing on connecting to what is meaningful in the moment – oneโ€™s values. There is no focus of attention on someone speaking for another, being the teacher, therapist, or authority. Each learns how to speak for only themselves and listen without correction or convincing the other parties. There is no focus on telling the story to ascertain who is right and who is wrong. The key is to process the story using practical steps to integrate skills on how to communicate and accept differences where all parties are valued equally. I would have loved to have grown up in this type of cultural experience, however the gift of not living it became the purpose for exploring it and making discoveries for the past three decades.

Life, Lifestyle, Relationship & Empathy Coaching

For inquiries in person or online call:

Follow the journey onย Twitter,ย Instagramย orย Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,ย ย 
&ย Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2014 โ€“ 2023 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP


Triangulation in Situationships

Triangulation never works out. It fractures relationships and situationships. Yet our learned dialogue patterns in the West are founded upon creating this very pattern. With young children and empathy coaching students I tried to have the two parties engage with each other rather than give advise when solicited for it. When someone comes to you for advise you become a third sider as it is not your situation. Therefore if you share your opinion or perspective you are interfering instead of holding the space for the advice seeker to find their own connection to resolving it. If I gave my opinion or perspective as the 3rd sider, I would be influencing an outcome, not mine to influence.

Learning and integrating Marshall Rosenberg’s dialogue pattern was like the universe took a breath and let go of all this tension surrounding me. This pattern supports others in a way too that reduces the spectrum of negative emotions and begins to limit conflict in the environment. With my children they would have some situation between them and rather than engage in resolving it they would come to me to tell on each other. Unfortunately for them I didn’t involve myself in the story they were telling and rather steered them to listening to each other in a way they could hear what was alive in them and each other. In the moment it takes time until the pattern is learned, however it saves energy and reduces conflict long term. Think about a situation of gossip that harmed you in the past and how long it took to get over it or for clarity to come.

Consider your pattern of third siding. Do you become an authority over others in situations that aren’t yours or do you genuinely listen to the person seeking advice and hold the space for them and the party they are seeking to get clarity about? Those seeking advice consider if you are letting others have power over what it is you are seeking advice about. This is important as it directly interferes with self-trust, self-esteem and self-confidence. The self-inquiry then becomes why am I letting someone tell me what to do? It becomes far more important that the original need for checking in with them in the first place. Do they really have my best interest at heart? What need are they meeting? Why? As soon as someone knows the answers of what you should be doing they are not holding your best interest to heart. They are directing you in a way to meet their needs – power over. It puts you in a power under experience that grows and sometimes can become abusive.

Follow the journey on TwitterInstagram or Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,  Living in Natures Love Blog
Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2014 โ€“ 2023 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP

#yyj in person Awareness through Movementยฎย lessons continue in Oak Bay

group lessons

Micro-movements using the Feldenkraisยฎ Method of Somatic Education

on Mondays:

Sept 16 โ€“ Oct 28 ’24

Nov 04 โ€“ Dec 16 ’24

Felt sense through the Body

1 – 2 pm – Balance

2:30 – 3:30 p.m. – Awareness through Movement


Upcoming Workshops

Feldenkraisยฎ is a system for learning new actions through movement to increase one’s function and quality of life. There is no dogma or self-image attached to this system of independent self-learning. This means it introduces a focus on what you can do, not what you can’t. It reduces limiting beliefs by increasing the focus of attention on the present moment. As an empath, I can trust the Feldenkraisยฎ experience as it deepens my inner understanding, clarity, and skeletal support through perception. It taps into the same dynamic of inner support that I trusted as a baby to stand up and begin taking my first step.

I recommend it to everyone longing to be free of the past and to shift the fear of the unknown future. I especially recommend it for those who have been given labels and now identify with them. The only way to transformation is through a new action.

Dedicated Feldenkrais Focus, influenced by Somatic Dialogue & Awareness of Environment Stimulation to function

(Read more)

Renee is a Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner – since 2007

Location: Monterey Recreation Center – Oak Bay

1442 Monterey Avenue

For more information & to Register:

Register by phone @ 250-370-7300 or

online @ Oak Bay Recreation website

Feldenkraisยฎ Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement since 2001

What energy are you feeding your new COVID lifestyle?

Are you curious enough to consider which energy you are feeding?ย 

Culturally there is a global shift taking place

This global shift needs a focus of our attention that goes beyond the basic considerations for humanity introduced in our earlier post, Contrary to popular sentiments, life will not return to pre-covid experiences.ย  Going beyond these basics of COVID reactive behaviours could be an actively considering whichย  monkey one is feeding.ย  Is it the monkey that is open to the listening and understanding the differences among us to increase inclusiveness of all needsย  and not those of just one person?ย  Or, is it the monkey of only one unique perspective and opinion.ย  One is an open system the is flexible and resilient and the other is a closed system that is rigid.ย  One is life rewarding and the other life draining.

Are you open to co-creating and re-building a new cultural structure for these times or will the same old pre-COVID cultural behaviours still apply to you?ย  Those old conflict making behaviours that eliminate listening to others perspectives because you already know the answers before hearing their input.

The status quo of behaviour pre-COVIDย  was created through the modelling of leadership.ย  Political and corporate leaders and trends.ย  These elements of leadership have an agenda of control that excludes co-creation through its very nature and existence.ย  The focus is on having followers not innovators.

Moving forward through leadership that includes the best cultural experience for all into considerationย  begins within each of us individually.ย  It starts from the inside out and transforms habits of thinking about what’s wrong with what isย  outside (with others and circumstances) and focuses attention on an inner question and observation of who we in the moment.ย  How often have you noticed behaving the very same way you may have hated in others,ย  or do you observe things in others but not in yourself?

What self leadership intentions have you applied to yourself for this COVID transformational year ahead?

The coming year, 2021 starts without the distraction of travel, community socializing, external career moves, spiritual and educational travel, visiting family and outside entertainment.ย  It does however have the opportunityย  to transform theseย  external distraction intoย  intimate andย  meaningful self-discoveries.

  • if we long to be healthy
    • is this reflected in physical patterns of movement and nutritional values for our individual body parts, through conversations in our relationships, and in our behaviour in the environment

This example ofย  what it is to self-discover one health is at the core of our experiences and it is the foundation to our reactive nature.ย  Our outside experience is a reflection of what is going on inside.ย  It controls our active thought patterns, our movement, emotions and perspective.ย  Change out inner and our outer will be actively different.ย  The first step is to learn about yourself in a way that is progressive and in the moment, and not focused on the past.

One cannot live in the past at the boardroom table making decisive choices for influencing today’s success.

One cannot live in the past when in the active experience of responding to their child in the moment and achieve a bond.

One cannot live in the past in the midst of connecting intimately with their partner and achieve a vulnerable connection.

What if 2021 included learning systems that are in the moment actively mindful.ย  Cultivating awareness through lessons that guide one through practical steps to increase hope, connection and that can be integrated as they focus on autonomy and the true experience in the moment.ย  This means acceptance throughย  inclusion of what’s right for you and what’s right for me without diagnosis, analysis and moral judgements.

The only way to change is action

Ways for exploring mindfulness in active function rooted in the practical integration of Tibetan Buddhist Meditation
Awareness through Communication – Western Mind integrating Eastern Mindful Practice
Awareness through Movement – Retraining Brain beyond western & eastern mind
Awareness through Spaceย  – Landscape and emotional, mental and physical function

by Renee Lindstrom

Effective Movement Posture and Awareness with Life ย Mentoring Programs Available:โ†

ย 1st Phase of Integrationย โ€“ Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
ย 2nd Phase of Integrationย โ€“ Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
ย 3rd Phase of Integrationย โ€“ Integration (Embodiment)

Follow the journey onย Twitter,ย Instagramย orย Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,ย ย Living in Natures Love Blog
&ย Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2014 โ€“ 2021 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, Functional Integrationยฎ,ย are registered service marks ofย Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ

Contrary to popular sentiments, life will not return to pre-covid experiences

After 10 months of COVID experiences there is a new normalย ย 

Some new behaviours have been created in the 10 months of COVID regardless of one’s beliefs.ย  New habits have been created in those who actively socially distanced and wore masks.ย  For those who wore them it has now become second nature, while it continues to beย  a source of conflict for those who have resisted these safety measure .

These differing perspectives have dividedย  community members and nurtured deeper separation amongst us.ย  Two simple measures thatย  began as personal courtesies quickly became enforced rules.ย  This has divided family, friends and community members.

Some of us are relieved by these two simple measures as it meets our needs for safety and freedom, while it doesn’t meet the needs for autonomy and freedom for some.ย  Our differences can separate us or bring us together.ย  This following example demonstrates how it has separated us.

In recent news out of Vancouver there was a story of a Policeman’s leg being broken by someone refusing to wear a mask.ย  This is ten months into COVID.ย  Imagine the rage this person has harboured inside for the past 10 months!

.

While a part of our community has struggled with staying at home and adopting new safety measures, others have pivoted and emerged as innovators.ย  ย COVIDย  has caused businesses to shut down while some great new ideas for businesses has emerged.ย  New leadership has surfaced to support the community or accidently led to successfulย  makeovers.ย  One great example is at local news station, Chek News.ย  The sports and weather announcers had to pivot and go out on the road which has not only been successful for them, it has supported the community in a way that could not be predicted.ย  Two of the announcers won awards for their 2020 contributions.ย  Accidental leadership!

The differences of those who fight change and those who create change are unmasked now after 10 months of COVID.ย  The energy of these two expressive differences is tangible.ย  The naysayers and those wanting it to go back the way it was suck the aliveness of motivation out a room.ย  It feeds disconnection, while those inspired by change increase the motivation in the room and create connection.ย  These are qualities of experience that have been around for centuries!ย  That hasn’t changed.

What has changed is our lifestyle.ย  We shop online now for all our needs likeย  groceries, furniture and gifts forcing brick and mortar businesses to adopt to this new normal.ย  We order food and have it delivered versus going out to eat forcing restaurants to pivot.ย  We have stopped international travel and now explore our own country and communities.ย  ย  Parents were forced to put their children first over their own careers, adventures and self care.ย  Rather than paying a community to support the parents lifestyle, the focus of attention has returned to the family unit.ย  ย Consider the changes you have made in your lifestyle?

When Dr. Bonnie Henry announced this week that, “… by summer we could all go back to normal if we took measures now, ” I had already reached my own tipping point ofย  being tolerant for these type ofย  statements.ย  Why?ย  It is never going back to the way it was.ย  There is a new normal now.ย  The question is, are we resilient to change?ย  Can we enjoy the journey or fight it?

The only way to change is action

Ways for exploring mindfulness in active function rooted in the practical integration of Tibetan Buddhist Meditation
Awareness through Communication – Western Mind integrating Eastern Mindful Practice
Awareness through Movement – Retraining Brain beyond western & eastern mind
Awareness through Spaceย  – Landscape and emotional, mental and physical function

by Renee Lindstrom

Effective Movement Posture and Awareness with Life ย Mentoring Programs Available:โ†

ย 1st Phase of Integrationย โ€“ Getting Started (Introduction & Pattern)
ย 2nd Phase of Integrationย โ€“ Getting Intouch (Experiencing & Connection)
ย 3rd Phase of Integrationย โ€“ Integration (Embodiment)

Follow the journey onย Twitter,ย Instagramย orย Facebook

by Renee Lindstrom, GCFP @ Inside Awareness,ย ย Living in Natures Love Blog
&ย Renee Lindstrom Live
Copyright 2014 โ€“ 2021 Renee Lindstrom, GCFP
Feldenkraisยฎ, Feldenkrais Methodยฎ, Awareness Through Movementยฎ, Functional Integrationยฎ,ย are registered service marks ofย Feldenkrais Guildยฎ of North America. Feldenkrais Methodยฎ