Tips for surviving the holidays!

Feel like protesting and taking the Xmas out of the holidays!

Here are some tips for connecting from the inside out that will result in leaving commercialism where it belongs, in the department store!

1. Pause to breathe and check in! Notice what thought stories are fighting for your attention and label it, “thinking,” with no judgement (you are seeking and your thoughts are trying to accommodate whatever that is).

2. Stop long enough to notice and identify if you want to: run around shopping, withdraw from it all, or scream!

3. Once you notice your reaction, take a moment and connect to what is meaningful for you. Some ideas for meaning around the holiday could be: sharing, caring, family, giving, receiving, connection, community, celebration, appreciation, inclusion, devotion, faith, rest, relaxation….

4. Once you have picked 2 or 3 values that you long to connect to your holiday season, take time to write each of them down on paper leave space between each value.

5. Read a value, starting with the first one. Close your eyes and connect to the quality of what this value means to you. Let your imagination go and put a picture to what you are longing for. Go through each value and connect to it in this way keeping your holiday in mind. For example:

Connection: The quality is closeness, warmth, lightheartedness. The image is sitting with a family member over a nice celebratory meal and truly connecting. Listening and expressing in a way where both are listening and expressing equally.

Celebration: The quality is bright, energizing, pleasure. The image is coming home to a brightly decorated home that is a welcome contrast to the cold and darkness.

Giving & Receiving: The quality is joy and heart-felt warmth. The image of sitting with someone while they are genuinely enjoying and appreciating the gift you have given. The gift to you is their response and if you receive one in return that is a bonus.

Once you have gone through each value sit back and read your statements of longing to see if you can pinpoint an intention. What quality is a thread between your statements. It there a theme? In the examples above the common threat is a connection to the experience itself. The theme is connection to people, place and time.

6. Now with this conscious information, go back and to your original reactions. Would these actions truly connect to what you are longing for? Where they ungrounded solutions increasing your disconnection and anxiety. Ask yourself what you can do differently to meet more of your holiday dreams.

Consider making your personal request doable and concrete (specific to time and place). For example:

A dream could be for a deepening connection with a friend or family member. The request could be, Could I pick a time over the holidays to invite this person out for a coffee and snack somewhere we can relax and visit? If the answer is yes reach out to this person and invite them. The difference is that this action is grounded in intention and you will be reflecting this in your attitude and experience letting the experience be more settling and meaningful versus fraught with chaos and disconnection.