Imagine your child/ren watching and hearing you and your partner disagree. Conflict between two people is normal and natural. Rather than beat yourself up and either guilt talk your child or ignore them, what if you talk empathy? Yes!, accept responsibility for having feelings that sometimes come out in a way you don’t like! Example:
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(Name), last night Daddy and I used our loud voices when we disagreed about
cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I regret (or I am sorry for) getting angry at
daddy in front of you. I was needing some space by myself to settle and rest
and was feeling frustrated and rushed.
I imagine it’s scary for you to hear daddy and I raise our voices and show you our big feelings. Is that right? _________(answer)_______________. I bet you need us to be kinder and more considerate (age appropriate words). Is that
want you would like? __________(encourage talking).
I would like that too. Sometimes just like you, I get big feelings and they
come out before I can catch them. How about we make a deal (or I make an agreement with you), that if daddy and I use our loud (big) voices when we are feeling frustrated, that when I feel calmer I will come and check in with you to talk about how this was for you? Would you like this?
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Parenting Workshops with Renee Lindstrom coming up at James Bay Community Centre and Vic West Community Association. Go to learning opportunities for parents .
Think, Speak, Act Workshops with Renee Lindstrom coming up at Monterey Recreational Centre. Go to personal development Learning opportunities.
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Center for Inside Awareness 