Tag Archives: Habits

Speaking ‘Green’ starts inside

Speaking Green is a practice of speaking in the present tense with a commitment for being honest and willingness to listen carefully.  Here are practice steps to create new speaking habits.

Practice Steps:

The first three speaking practice steps focus on inner nature and self-empathy. They are the  steps before actively speaking out or reacting. 

1.  Checking in 

The first step is pausing to stop before reacting and speaking habitually.  It is the gap between receiving information  and action.  

Slow down, pause and separate ones reactive behavior into *mindful behavior.

Self Empathy Card

2.  Translating what’s alive in the moment

The second part of  Green Relationship practice is translating  opinions, believes, interpretations or comparative judgments into a language of sensibilities; seeing, hearing, feeling, touching and tasting.. 

3.  Exploring values as the cause of reaction and action for connection

The third Steps of Green Relationship practice includes the willingness to being curious and explore values as the cause of reaction and as the action for connection.

4.  Integrate Steps 2 & 3 into value sentences and choose an action.   

The fourth step of Green  Relationship practice  integrates the first three steps into value statements and becomes the point taking action.  This may be choosing to speak out, to listen, or to come up with a personal request.

Come to a workshop to learn the finer details of these steps for inner mindfulness and practice!

 

_______________________________________________________

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

 

 

 

4 Personal Commitments for effective ‘Green Communication’

4 personal commitments for CREATING EMPATHY NATURE in dialogUE 

1.  Self Reflection:

  • identifying felt sensory awareness (sensing, feeling, emotions)  while noticing thoughts, opinions, believes and interpretations and letting them go

 2.  Speaking honestly:

  • about how you are affected and not what you think

 3.  Willingness to set aside differences:

  • hearing how others are affected  (conflict is at the level of  belief, thoughts, opinions and personal interpretations)

4.  Identifying and connecting to values before solutions

  • After first three steps, then and only then,  develop solutions based on every-ones input and ideas.   

.

The Practice of Empathy Nature

Empathy Nature

  • will develop a state of mindfulness and increases conscious awareness
  • increase communication efficiency
  • reduce life draining experiences and increase productivity

_______________________________________________________

 

_______________________________________________________

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

3 parts to InTouch Talk’s ‘Green Communication’

Link to Definition of Green Behavior

Link to Definition of Green Behavior

There are three parts to this value-based enrichment program.  Learning these steps and the willingness to practice will be the shift from unconscious habitual dialogue to consciously focused dialogue.

These three parts are:

1.  FOUNDATION

2.  ‘ACKNOWLEDGE DIFFERENCES AND LISTEN ANYWAY’

  • Commitment to Interdependent Dialogue Interactions and recognizing humanities shared values 

“Today, the mission of one institution can be accomplished only by recognizing that it lives in an interdependent world with conflicts and overlapping interests.”                          Jacqueline Grennan Wexler

 3.  PRACTICE/SKILL DEVELOPMENT

  • There are two different types of communication; habitual and mindful awareness.  Habitual is the continuous cycle of mental stories that are either based upon the past and the future.  Mindful is an attentive awareness to what is real in the moment.  The steps to get from story telling to mindful awareness  are simple, yet require learning, practice and patience.

Read  4 COMPONENTS OF EFFECTIVE GREEN COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS

_______________________________________________________

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

‘Green Communication’

Green relationships

Green Communication is a Value Based Language & Enrichment Program

Intention:  Inclusiveness of hearing what is alive and meaningful in each person and translating *perspectives, opinions and believes into a point of shared *connection.

Purpose:  To connect equally in dialogues that is committed to a position of inclusiveness transforming positions of power over and power under to power with.

How:  With a dialogue that has a talking focus of shared connections; feelings and values.

Link to Definition of Green Behavior
Link to Definition of Green Behavior

_______________________________________________________

 

Definitions:

*Perspective:
  • Two-dimensional surface – give the right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each other when viewed from a particular point.
  • Particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
*Connection:
The ability to sense and feel is universal, as is the meaningfulness of values.   Value-needs are shared by humanity and the focus point of expanding beyond individual interpretations.  Identifying emotions is the first step of separating from habitual reactions and the start point of *empathetic- listening.   Naming the source of the emotion is the focus point of acknowledgement and recognition that nurtures understanding and willingness to the unique point of view of others.
.
*Empathetic-listening:
Empathetic-listening is the ability and willingness to listen without imposing personal believes interpretations, opinions and viewpoints into the conversation.  The willingness to clear “I” focus while hearing others and purposefully paying attention to the viewpoint that is being shared in a manner that could be directly shared back.

_______________________________________________________

Renee Lindstrom, GCFP,
Feldenkrais® Practitioner since 2007, Communication & Empathy Coach since 2004, Art of Placement  since 2000, Labyrinths of Victoria since 2012, #yyj Peace Week Grassroots Calendar Founder, Vice-Chair of World Children’s Summit on Peace & Nature in 2015

Comparisons & Restorative Justice, really? Our habits make us lazy.

After tearing down a contemplative installation that was Inside’s contribution in a shared event,  I ran in to view the remaining presentations.  I viewed a role-play on a topic that  I loved and seeing the participants respond was fun.   So it was with dismay and a difference in opinion when I heard the next presenters come up and compare their presentation to the one before it!  I ask myself, why? Are you in the habit of comparing yourself to others?  Is so, is there always a winner and a loser? comparison

The first sentence I heard in the presentation expressed was, ”  ..(blank) …..used the old school method while I am using the new method of presenting with audio visual and a bullet form presentation to follow along!  She did not open with an indicator to us that this was only her belief and that she wasn’t speaking for us all.  She stated it like it the truth, which to me,  meant she knew more than anyone else in the audience without realizing she was comparing two totally different teaching methods that cannot be compared in this way.  Hers was exclusive of audience participation and the style was speaking at us with words on a screen while the other method included the audiences participation and the learning was experiential.  It was presented though an exercise therefore included more than the senses of seeing and hearing.

In this one sentence she compared herself to the presenter before in a way that told us she was more effective.  One was old and one was new.  This may have not been her intent, yet I believe it demonstrates her lack of wisdom while commanding a hierarchical status quo.  I believe her intent was to apologize for using this form of audio visual and rather than explaining what need of hers she was not meeting, she chose to make it about the person before her.

This is a perfect demonstration of a non-physical form of violence that begins inside as comparison and is expressed in a language of violence.  The root source that results in the need for restorative justice.   It is my perspective that there is no comparison between the sharing styles or techniques.  One is a speaking systems designed for  behavior awareness that reduces the need for the restorative action to meet ones need for justice.

My discomfort continued to grow with the use of labels such a perpetrators, victims,  and so on and I found my mind wandering back to a belief that is expanding.   It is based upon being courageous and having the willingness to speak with honesty and with acceptance together with *understanding there are differences in opinions.   This belief is a growing understanding that our habits are lazy.  It is easier for us to protect ourselves from feeling the discomfort that comes when speaking our truth and sharing a common value.  Our immediate choice is to stay in a mental dominated state of analyzing, labeling and talking at issues with a language of solutions.  We are choosing not to take the extra effort to *process them by checking in first to identify a personal value connection first before going to solutions.  The process we are ignoring becomes the effort and life draining experience and the need behind restorative justice.

*Understanding differences in opinions:  This is knowing that your opinion is not what others believe to be true.  It is a skill to be able to hear others and know that this does not mean you have to agree or disagree with them.

.

*Dealing with issues:  We are not expressing ourselves in a simple, concise way in the moment while pausing long enough to check in with others to confirm how they are hearing us.  This simple skill seems to be a frightening option for many and they will withhold.  The outcome is not being recognized.  That is if this time and step is not taken it is exactly what leads us into resentment and life draining relationships.  It become the source of our need for restorative justice!

Are you teaching children to understand why they are behaving the way they do or are you telling them what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior?

Do understand your own behavior or is your behavior habitual therefore the same old reactions?

Child development is through their existing abilities of hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, taste and physical feeling.  Mental development is a later development and learned in the process of absorbing what they witness others doing.

Therefore:

What behavior are you modelling to the children around you?

How are you engaging with the child/ren around you in order to support them in understanding their behavior reflecting back to them that they are still beautiful and wonderful?  Warning, supporting a child’s development doesn’t come with labeling them and grouping them into a  category – that only gives the adults a false understanding and reasoning that further disconnects the child from their behavior and only meets the adults needs for understanding.    If an adult did not learn why they behave the way they do in their stages of development they may not  understand why their child is behaving the way are are and they will seek answers that generally lead to a diagnosis.    Adults will not see that the child is taking in the behavior around them and responding either by duplicating it or reacting to it.  Adults generally will not recognize too that they are demonstrating the same behaviors.

An example, one of my son’s elementary teachers.  Whenever I went by her class while in the school volunteering or coming to pick him up I would see her with her back to the class on a computer  with the children left to work on their own.     Her classroom was in a state of disarray with piles on top of  piles  in every available space.  Paper, art and craft materials stacked so that if there was a breeze it would be like a deck of cards and come crashing down.  Our experience was that this particular teacher was close to retirement and interested in art, yet she was still teaching a regular class.  She spent most of the year outside of the class on big school projects leaving the children she was responsible for in the hands of  others in the school who would come in to fill in periodically throughout the day and even part way through a subject.  Arrangements also included switching classes so that other classes could be taught what she was interested in.   Two weeks prior to the Christmas break or a school event her class room had a revolving door and many times no adult was in the class and they would be watching a Disney type movie.

The day came that we had an appointment with her to discuss our son’s behavior in her class room.  Sitting with her was painful and I believe we all had  trouble focusing on her as she attempted to find my son’s work.  It  was in a pile in front of her on her desk that was no less than three feet high.  What we heard was that our son was not organized and able to complete a task.  That he was not able to work on his own and was distracted easily.  Therefore her recommendation was that he be tested as a candidate for medication.  Medication that she herself had put her son on through his early years.  I asked her if her child continued on this medication and she said no, at a later age he insisted that they stop and work differently on his tenancies   She went on to say that he resented this strategy of medication  as he couldn’t remember much of his earlier years.

Therefore are we aware of our own needs and how they affect those around us?  Will we judge our children for duplicating  what they are observing us do?  Is it easier for us to fix it so our experience has more ease and if so is this a long term solution or a temporary fix?

The reason we went in to have a conversation with this teacher was that our son was going into a closet and shutting the door.  She felt he was hiding and that he was a problem.  What she did not recognize was that this was the only strategy he had to get away from the chaos of the environment she was unconsciously creating to meet her own needs!

Imagine if this teacher had learned a way to communicate with our child that would connect to the values rather than labeling him a problem.  She would have understood her needs more, perhaps leading to change in the classroom for all the children.

Did you know “Fear” can be stimulated by triggers learned over a lifetime of experiences?

  • Did you also know that fear can be un-learned?
  • Did you also know that physical triggers (habitual movements) can stimulate your fear without you being conscious of it?  Things that you wouldn’t normally be afraid of become stimulus to frighten you.
  • Have you considered that mental triggers (personal thinking process)  can also stimulate your fear reactions without your being conscious of it?
  • Fear can be a reaction from past experiences being projected into your expectations of the future!
Rather than seeking  quick fix and ignoring the root source find out more about how you can learn to replace fear with self-support and learn skills to be present more of the time.  
Contact Renee today if you would like to explore natural ways to improve the quality of your own personal way of reacting and experiencing behaviors for improving relationships, sleeping, pain levels, reducing stress and more.
Contact information – renee@insideawareness.com or 250-361-7508