Being yourself

Until you learn to name your ghosts and to baptize your hopes, your have not yet been born:  you are still the creation of others.

Marie Cardinal

The relationship between loving kindness and compassionate communication:

A student attending Think, Speak, Act workshops,   a series of getting InTouch Communication,  is a Buddhist student and has practiced meditation for many years.  After a short series of workshops and a few private empathy sessions  to learn and practice self empathy and empathetic listening and speaking skills, a comparison was made with what I was sharing with their recent retreat teacher dialogues.

Hearing this I made a request to have some points written down so that I could have more clarity.  With luck another retreat was scheduled.  As promised here are some notes of how they integrated our Think, Speak, Act practices and how it aligns with their Buddhist retreat learning.

  • It is to communicate or to speak kindly, to pay attention to the inner voice.
  • Our ability to respond in a friendly way.
  • It is to be aware, knowing what is going on.  Communication affects us and others.
  • It is a language of respect.  It is sharing and opening to other.
  • It is getting to know our self better to see what is our state of mind moment by moment.
  • When you observe closely you gain insight and recognize the truth in the present moment.
  • It is training the mind.
  • It is to be able to stop our habitual response, calm down our nervous system, relax and be less reactive.
  • It is to get familiar on how do we experience our feeling and how it impacts on us and others.
  • Loving kindness or Meta fill our needs by opening the heart and wishing us and for other positive statements.
  • When we express our feeling or needs the receiver is more receptive.
  • Compassion is honesty, to say the real inner feeling.  (There are no judging or blaming).  There are not too many words to explain “compassion.”One of the statements of compassion is: “May I have ease (space) with this difficulty.”  Stay in the feeling and say:  “I care for that pain or difficult time.”
  • When we practice Metta or getting InTouch techniques the circuit in the brain runs differently in different parts of the brain.
  • The point of Metta and getting InTouch is to extend your kindness, your compassion to others around us and in the world.
  • Metta or getting InTouch is responding to the feeling and the needs in a gentle way.
  • It is helping the little self,  “The ego” to not be involved.   To see things as they are…….
  • Self Empathy is to observe to see what is happening and connecting with the stimulus without being caught in it.
  • It is helping us for a liberation and not being caught in the thinking mind.
  • This approach of Metta or getting InTouch cares about us, it is to see with the “big mind, the big picture.”
  • We react the way we react because we do not know other ways until we learn the new way of communication.  We often say and do things we regret.
  • One of our deep needs is to understand to see the stimulus with “big eyes.”  Take the problem or conflict and understand really what happened, observe, identity the feeling in us.
  • Be able to see more than to react to the stimulus, see the old story, the hold picture.

The compassionate communication of getting InTouch is a tool to respond properly to our self and to others.  To be awake is to be able to respond appropriately with loving kindness.

A final comment was that they changed their personal Buddhist affirmations (mantras) based upon having more clarity on how to achieve  success in connection to the statements.  To understand them  with concrete actions and making them doable!

Quote

The significant…

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. Albert Einstien

Image

Plastic Water Bottles? Really?

Imagine Water lifestyles


 

Integrating the value of Water

by Renee Lindstrom

Sun Infused Water

Life Area:  Survival

 Biologically speaking, water is critical for the proliferation of life.  All known forms of life depend on water.  How connected are you to your water source?  This week notice the amount of water that is a part of your day by drinking, washing and watering.  A few times this week reflect upon not having easy access to this resource.  What needs of yours would not be met if you didn’t have a supply of water ?


Image

Water reflection of the day: Life area ~Basic Survival

Water 1

School for first timers!

Preparing for fall workshops in the community I was invited to a meeting to discuss what the school Counselors would like me to present in my Parenting and Teacher  getting Intouch Workshops.  In this meeting  I learned many possibilities for supporting parents who are getting their little one’s off to school for the first time.

Sitting now at this end of the parenting years (17 and 19 years old) and looking back  I remembered how lost my children and I where entering the first time.  We didn’t know we were lost!

I would like to say the first time was kindergarten yet we discovered each year and each teacher is a first time experience.  Sorry parents.  There are the milestones of being in elementary, moving to middle school and then up to high school.  Each time is a new experience.

Lets go back to kindergarten.  Even after a few years of pre-school immersion and early child focused classes,  school was a huge adjustment and learning curve for all of us.  Besides being able to cut, color, draw, paint and create little projects children that are attending kindergarten are now  expected to be able to:

  • have letter recognition,
  • write letters,
  • know the beginning sounds, 
  • have reading readiness (awareness of words going from left to right)
  • be attentive and follow directions
  • have polite social skills

  for description of each point – go to link

Wow!  My mother was a stay at home mom and these learning goals she  left to the teacher.  This was before kindergarten and pre-school!  Wanting to be better prepared myself I did have my children in a part-time pre-school and filled their time with other learning activities like early childhood music  and many socialization opportunities.  We also had a full schedule of our own activities and play learning.  Yet, when it came to school, we lacked the preparedness level expected of them.  I discovered that I had focused upon a different set of skills and apparently so did the pre-schools!

The first ugly thing to rear its head that became a huge distraction for us was behavior.  Yes parents in kindergarten.  A wake up call.  As a fresh new mom with beautiful and innocent children this was a nightmare and the last thing I expected.  We ran into bully kids, bully parents, bully teachers, bully secretaries, bully school principals.  No discrimination here!  Yet they all had one thing in common.  Each one was trying the best way they knew how to get their needs met.

I want to support kids in the best way I know how and that is through supporting parents, teachers and schools in finding new ways of integrating behavior awareness, that with practice, makes life easier and more fulfilling.  Therefore after the requests of the above mentioned meeting and to support my current classes I have begun this series of supportive tips.

My goal focus  is to present material to parents that would include the educators needs yet still include the parents perspective.   As I was hearing the needs expressed from the members of the school administration I was able to discriminate my parenting  needs without judgement either way.   Unique, yes and it will allow a rounded outlook that includes more equality.  

Parents stay in touch and find concrete solutions for supporting your children through tips and fall workshops.