Tag Archives: Inside Awareness for Healthy Living

NVC Perspective of “Beyond Right and Wrongdoing”

At our second evening of sharing Victoria’s April Awareness campaign for NVC as an experience for shifting a planet into peace, we had the pleasure of having local Victorian Laurel Collins as guest presenter.  Laurel chose the topic, “Beyond right and wrongdoing, ” as the focus of her presentation.

Laurel shared her unique experience and passion behind her own connection to Nonviolent Communication and why she was choosing to commit another 4 to 5 years of study to write her thesis with a focus on this dialogue process and consciousness.

She successfully expanded and deepened our understanding of  the process that Judi Morin began last week introducing to us in  this style of communicating.    The take away from last week was the stories we tell ourselves in our thinking process that keeps us from connecting to each other.  Each person has their own unique perspective and Judi was able to demonstrate this through an exercise.  Her role play was to demonstrate  how these internal arguments play in our head and keep us from knowing what is truly going on for us and  expressing in a way to be heard.

Laurel expanded our awareness of the four basic steps in an NVC dialogue.  Observation, Feelings, Needs and Requests sometimes called OFNR.  She connected us to the stimulation we and others may feel upon our choices of words in the sentences we articulate as NVC practitioners.  Sentences such as, “I am feeling ……,”  “I am needing…..,” and “Would you be willing…..”  She gave us ideas of  how to structure sentences differently to give us more choice in our NVC conversations.  Experiencing NVC  feeling and needs literacy Laurel  connected and shone the light on the developing consciousness that grows naturally and organically when you practice nonviolent communication.  She cautioned us that as beginners in the initial stages of learning the four steps and practicing them  as a  practitioner we may develop our own right ways of doing Nonviolent Communication.   She explained how this may be an alienating experience for many and that being right in how to do NVC practice may become the focus rather than connecting.  Basically taking right and wrong thinking  into our NVC practice.

We enjoyed breakout exercises that gave us an experience of sharing times when we said something that we would have liked to have said differently.  The intention was to share what needs might have stimulated what we have said.  In my breakout group no one had any burning desire to share an issue.  Therefore playing with what they did say to identify their feelings and discover the .  underlying needs there was visual discomfort at being the center of attention and in this process of sharing.  One person did share a very hot issue for them that demonstrated the delicate layering of issues in conflict that creates a blow up.  It was a powerful moment of connection after separating out the issues and bringing  the connection within to a personal inner experience.

Coming away from our evening I am reminded that this is a practice and a choice to commit to.  One that we will be exploring for our lifetimes to become more conscious in our relationships and grow more quality into them.

Laurel demonstrated that in choosing to speak with a sentence structure of NVC principals we naturally begin to create an experience in our world that has abundance, joy, support and connection .  In changing our language we support shifting our view from struggle and pain into possibilities and potential therefore a shift in our own experiences.

Everyone enjoyed this nights presentation and Laurel’s articulate style and connection in sharing the illusive qualities of Nonviolent Communication.

Next week on Wednesday, April 18th, I will be presenting and the topic will be on “Activism for Social Change” and on Wednesday, April 28th, Michele Favarger will be presenting the topic of  “Resolving Conflict.”

Please join us at 7 p.m. – the Church of Truth, 111 Superior Street

Positions of Consciousness from an NVC perspective

Power Over/Under – Win/Lose or Lose/Lose or Power With – Win/Win
  • What type of mind world would you like to nurture in your thinking?
Scarcity verse Abundance
  • Not enough to go around, or more than enough to go around
  • Can’t have what you want of you can have what you need and so can others
Pain versus Joy/Relief/comfort/Pleasure/Vitality
  • Pain is context for life, joy and contentment are context for life
  • Result is addictions and numbing behavior or presence and self fulfilling behaviours
Conflict/Struggle versus Ease/Harmony/Peace
  • Life is a struggle, effort and hard work or Life is a gift with joy, aliveness and play
  • Pay for it, no pain, no gain or grow and enjoy it
  • Pain, alienation from life or sense of connection with all
Low Self Value versus High Self Value
  • Worthless verse self value and empowerment
  • Feeling false versus trust in oneself
  • Defective versus feelings of wholeness
Danger versus Safety
  • World is not a safe place versus world is a safe place
  • Low or no trust versus high trust in life
  • Wary vigilant or relaxed
  • Needs a safe environment versus operating on inner safety

AND MORE……

Join us at Oneness Wednesday this evening to find out more!  April is Nonviolent communication Awareness Month.  This evenings presenter is Laurel Collins and she will be sharing the topic – Beyond Right and Wrong Doing!

Find us at Church of Truth, 111 Superior Street at 7 p.m.

Thich Nhat Hanh on ‘Listening’

“We have to understand in order to be of help.  We all have pain, but we tend to suppress it, because we don’t want it to come up to our living room.  the most important thing is that we need to be understood.  We need someone to be able to listen to us and to understand us.  then we will suffer less.  but everyone is suffering, and no one wants to listen.  We don’t know how to express ourselves so that people can understand.  because we suffer so much, the way we express our pain hurts other people, and they don’t want to listen.”

Listening is a very deep practice….You have to empty yourself.  You have to leave space in order to listen….especially to people we think are our enemies – the ones we believe are making our situation worse.  When you have shown your capacity for listening and understanding, the other person will begin to listen to you, and you have a change to tell him or her of your pain, and it’s your turn to be healed.  This is the practice of peace.”

“Moshe on labeling health conditions”

The 24th issue of the Feldenkrais Journal arrived today and one of  the articles, The Heart of Our Work,  written by Marty Weiner (1943-2011) has a point worth re-sharing.

Marty’s is retelling of a story of Moshe when he was asked by a woman if he could do anything for the arthritis she had in her shoulder.  Moshe asked her, “Who told you, you had arthritis?”  She replied her doctor had and Moshe told her to go back to her doctor for help.

I bet your wondering why Moshe would say this or if you think you have the  answer continue reading and find out what else Marty shares about this Moshe story.  

Moshe continued to say, “Go back to your doctor, he is the one that gave you arthritis, maybe he can take it away.”

Connect to find out more about the Feldenkrais® Method and how it is more than movement?

Change thru mindfulness & space relationships

Integration of personal change through developing relationships with mindfulness and space

Wrapping up tips for the month of January to support manifesting personal goals it is with a growing appreciation I am now beginning to hear news clips, talk show hosts and read news paper articles that support all the little daily suggestions that began as a project Jan 1st.  This is validation that these tips are useful to begin to change a culture of negative reinforcement that creates failure!  We need to reverse our negative self talk into positive mindfulness and become our own best friends.

For more on the titles and links to the pages go to – link