As we discussed ‘Integrity’ our conversation turned to personal meanings of this verb. Before long it became clear the newest definition of “I” was “integrity” and this meant being honest to one’s own values.
It is important to say that we realized a connection to our values was a need for integrity and included a willingness to slow down and identity them. The next step and perhaps the most difficult, was being honest and expressing them! This takes clarity, commitment and courage. The 3 ‘c’s!’
We agreed doing integrity is a noun and our dialogue was encouraging us to consider the differences of doing and being this value-need of integrity. We also agreed that integrity as a noun is a mental concept that could create hypocrisy – “Actions speak louder than words!” Here are some of our final check in talking-points:
1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
- Commitment to check inside first, even if this means checking out of the conversation temporarily, to define what is alive inside first before responding.
- Clarity through connection to the point or intention of what it is you are trying to convey first before engaging.
- Courage to ‘speak your value-needs.’
2. Be willing to hear the value-need messages of others regardless of friend or foe in the moment!
- Commitment to put object of their conversation through your value-needs translator even if this means checking out of the conversation temporarily to do so.
- Clarity through reflecting back what you are hearing them say.
- Courage to ‘name their value-need message’ regardless of whether you agree or disagree.
In our closing I heard how these value dialogues were expanding our own personal perspective’s and deepening connections within and out.
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